To make a friend, you have to be a friend. Pick up the phone and suggest an activity to someone you know casually. They'll all say 'no' because everyone is busy

To make a friend, you have to be a friend. Pick up the phone and suggest an activity to someone you know casually. They'll all say 'no' because everyone is busy and no one past 30 likes to take a chance of dealing with another person in their life, especially if they already have a family or an already busy social life. So you have to try it again, and again. Note: I don't do this. I have basically just one friend, and only because he does the above. I blow him off constantly, and yet every month or so I get at least one text inviting me over to a barbecue or golf or a movie. I don't think I'm particularly special to him, he just makes a habit of being social. Personally, I can't stand the idea of putting myself out there like that. If I invite someone to do something once, and they say no, I'll never try again - and maybe I'll avoid them completely from that point on because I'm like that. My fragile little ego apparently can't deal with rejection. Yes, I hate being alone, but since I know what I need to do to change things but refuse to do what's required, I just have to accept loneliness as part of life. So, you have two choices: Change what you're doing and put yourself out there, or accept your lot in life. (Option 3, I guess, is to find a spouse who's super social and will get you off your ass. I suspect that's how a majority of men my age get by.) This just saved you thousands of dollars in therapist visits. You're welcome.