4 ms·

I'm pretty jaded on the modernity of dating in general. OKC, Tinder, others haven't really helped that, and maybe it's generational or maybe it isn't--doesn't f

I'm pretty jaded on the modernity of dating in general. OKC, Tinder, others haven't really helped that, and maybe it's generational or maybe it isn't--doesn't feel like many in my age group (27) are really that much interested in relationships of substance and trend more towards relationships because 'relationship'. But again, jaded on dating in general, pretty darn content with everything else otherwise if I'm being honest (except the cat really does need to get a job and start pulling his weight around here).

davemp 8y ago
I can see where you’re coming from. My armchair hypothesis is that people aren’t being taught how to have healthy long term monogamous relationships and why being in one (a healthy ltmr) can be so amazing. I won’t speculate on the cause, beyond suggesting that there is a negatively correlated social trend (based on no actual data) that seems like a logical inference. This hypothetical situation implies that it is much less likely for people to find another party interested in teaming up. Luckily if both sides: know how to identify a healthy ltmr, know how to & will participate in a healthy ltmr, will keep testing partners until a healthy ltmr is formed, and are balanced population size (and more), everyone interested and capable will end up in a healthy ltmr. The regressions in this scenario are longer expected time to relationship and the emotional cost of testing potential partners. (Probably significant enough to address). Based on the above scenario actionable advice is to do one’s best to satisfy the assumptions, weather the regression costs, and try to optimize your strategy to minimize the costs (becareful not to become a bad actor/violate the assumptions). This scenario & strategy is likely full of holes, but maybe it can provide hope that there is a strategy that offers a high success rate.
- iamdave 8y ago
  Or just do what I did: say "screw it" to the whole idea, get a dog and go fishing on the weekends.
  - davemp 8y ago
    Fair enough. I believe that iron sharpens iron as person sharpens person; and if a person is looking for sharpening, a strong partner is the best tool. Also a cook needs more than just sharp knives. :)
    - iamdave 8y ago
      if a person is looking for sharpening, a strong partner is the best tool. I kind of disagree with this notion, personal enrichment can come from all sorts of sources and places, and ins't reliant on having a significant other, but your point is taken for what it is.

davemp 8y ago

I can see where you’re coming from. My armchair hypothesis is that people aren’t being taught how to have healthy long term monogamous relationships and why being in one (a healthy ltmr) can be so amazing. I won’t speculate on the cause, beyond suggesting that there is a negatively correlated social trend (based on no actual data) that seems like a logical inference. This hypothetical situation implies that it is much less likely for people to find another party interested in teaming up. Luckily if both sides: know how to identify a healthy ltmr, know how to & will participate in a healthy ltmr, will keep testing partners until a healthy ltmr is formed, and are balanced population size (and more), everyone interested and capable will end up in a healthy ltmr. The regressions in this scenario are longer expected time to relationship and the emotional cost of testing potential partners. (Probably significant enough to address). Based on the above scenario actionable advice is to do one’s best to satisfy the assumptions, weather the regression costs, and try to optimize your strategy to minimize the costs (becareful not to become a bad actor/violate the assumptions). This scenario & strategy is likely full of holes, but maybe it can provide hope that there is a strategy that offers a high success rate.

iamdave 8y ago
Or just do what I did: say "screw it" to the whole idea, get a dog and go fishing on the weekends.
- davemp 8y ago
  Fair enough. I believe that iron sharpens iron as person sharpens person; and if a person is looking for sharpening, a strong partner is the best tool. Also a cook needs more than just sharp knives. :)
  - iamdave 8y ago
    if a person is looking for sharpening, a strong partner is the best tool. I kind of disagree with this notion, personal enrichment can come from all sorts of sources and places, and ins't reliant on having a significant other, but your point is taken for what it is.