I understand the chaos you are going through. Given that you are intelligent, perhaps some mental exercises are in order. Granted your emotions are not where

I understand the chaos you are going through. Given that you are intelligent, perhaps some mental exercises are in order. Granted your emotions are not where they "should be" but you can try to reason them out using logic and realize they can mislead you. First is the issue of perspective. The pressure you are feeling is probably normal given the societal, familial, and personal issues you have. Realize that this pressure will lessen over time as you gain more mastery over your life; resolve now to wait out this pressure, as it will take time to resolve. Second is the issue of control, or loss of control rather, that you are feeling. This is completely normal, but it is still unsettling. Perhaps writing down a list of things that bother you, then figuring out which issues are easiest for you to change, would be a good idea. Third is the issue of being introverted. You recognize that you are introverted; while I do not expect you to ever become an extroverted fighter pilot / celebrity / jock, there ARE ways to remain yourself, yet learn stratagems to better interact with people that do not involve being false. I recommend you view starting and then making conversation as a pleasant game, the rules of which you do not yet fully know. There are many ways and methods to learn this, find one that works for you. Consider that there may be cases where your being introverted comes off to other people as being standoffish, nerdy or difficult to talk to, or even just plain dull and boring. There is a way to be yourself that also results in people being comfortable being around you. Lastly, I do recommend finding a counselor; but, do not go to the school ones as they are probably useless. If you can, try to find someone older who has gone through similar things as you - since you mention that your family is traditionally Indian, perhaps a local successful Indian businessman, engineer, etc. would be willing to help be your mentor. Any chance a relative or family friend who will be discreet about what you tell him, is available? Best of luck in any case.