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I disagree with your assertion that "Strongly connecting dating with IRL identity is basically mandatory for safety." Strongly connecting anything with your IR

by cbhl 8y ago

I disagree with your assertion that "Strongly connecting dating with IRL identity is basically mandatory for safety." Strongly connecting anything with your IRL identity is a recipe for doxxing and stalking. I think Facebook's biggest challenge with their dating platform will be convincing women that they will both get good matches and be able to stay safe on the platform.

wild_preference 8y ago
Sex workers have a screening process that demands your IRL identity for safety. Turns out doxxing/stalking can always happen, but knowing someone's identity still makes you safer. For one, it gives you recourse. In Facebook's case, it also gives people social proof and precisely helps avoid the sort of troglodyte that's going to stalk you. When I see that I have mutual friends with someone on Tinder, I certainly have asked my mutual friend about that person just like you would do when dating through your existing friends, like that woman you met at your friend's dinner party. Also, most dating in human history has happened through immediate social channels where you know someone's identity. I don't see what alternative you're proposing except blind dating with strangers with zero social proof. Yeah, women aren't going to do that for safety concerns.
- wvenable 8y ago
  > Sex workers have a screening process that demands your IRL identity for safety. This is one-way only though. I'm sure sex workers do not want their IRL identity out in the world.
mathur 8y ago
While this is "true", this is already happening. In the vast majority of cases, your match's Facebook profile will both be there and have some public information. Also, a huge amount of the lack of safety from potentially fake profiles can be addressed more systematically and in a more scalable way.
aylmao 8y ago
I don't see as much negative behaviour from people in Facebook, as I do in online platforms which are anonymous. Maybe it's just my friends aren't a meaningful sample of people, or maybe it's that-- since you connect with your friends and a lot of people you know IRL, it's less common that these are people you'd hurt with impunity.
- JoshMnem 8y ago
  I manage online communities, and I saw many people behaving terribly on Facebook. Some people who were polite and well behaved under a pseudonym on my communities would become very unpleasant people when posting under their real names on Facebook. Many Facebook groups are toxic. Communities aren't well behaved based on real names -- they are well behaved based on the culture that is created by the moderators.

by cbhl 8y ago

wild_preference 8y ago

Sex workers have a screening process that demands your IRL identity for safety. Turns out doxxing/stalking can always happen, but knowing someone's identity still makes you safer. For one, it gives you recourse. In Facebook's case, it also gives people social proof and precisely helps avoid the sort of troglodyte that's going to stalk you. When I see that I have mutual friends with someone on Tinder, I certainly have asked my mutual friend about that person just like you would do when dating through your existing friends, like that woman you met at your friend's dinner party. Also, most dating in human history has happened through immediate social channels where you know someone's identity. I don't see what alternative you're proposing except blind dating with strangers with zero social proof. Yeah, women aren't going to do that for safety concerns.

wvenable 8y ago
> Sex workers have a screening process that demands your IRL identity for safety. This is one-way only though. I'm sure sex workers do not want their IRL identity out in the world.

mathur 8y ago

While this is "true", this is already happening. In the vast majority of cases, your match's Facebook profile will both be there and have some public information. Also, a huge amount of the lack of safety from potentially fake profiles can be addressed more systematically and in a more scalable way.

aylmao 8y ago

I don't see as much negative behaviour from people in Facebook, as I do in online platforms which are anonymous. Maybe it's just my friends aren't a meaningful sample of people, or maybe it's that-- since you connect with your friends and a lot of people you know IRL, it's less common that these are people you'd hurt with impunity.

JoshMnem 8y ago
I manage online communities, and I saw many people behaving terribly on Facebook. Some people who were polite and well behaved under a pseudonym on my communities would become very unpleasant people when posting under their real names on Facebook. Many Facebook groups are toxic. Communities aren't well behaved based on real names -- they are well behaved based on the culture that is created by the moderators.