5 ms·

Why is noone doing anything about this? There are no startups in this except for meetups. Why dont some non-profit organize meetings to find loneliness? Why

by qnsi 8y ago

Why is noone doing anything about this? There are no startups in this except for meetups. Why dont some non-profit organize meetings to find loneliness? Why there is no volunteering opportunities that focus on making friends first and only second helping the cause?

erikpukinskis 8y ago
I think something like what you're describing is possible.
petra 8y ago
There are some non-profits working on that , and one company that matches seniors to college students for shared living(students save money, seniors get friendship and help).
com2kid 8y ago
My startup is working on this. We are kinda-sorta meetup based, to the extent that we want people to get out of their houses and be active in their local communities, be it hiking, going to local venues, or hanging out at local parks. I'm writing this comment in-between writing the code to help this very problem. Anyone in the Seattle area who is interested in helping (early stage startup, boot strapped, app and back-end nearing completion) shoot me a message.
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
- Felger 8y ago
  In France we have urbeez ("On va sortir", litterally "let's get out"). ... Where you meet the same boring people each week, for years.
  - xapata 8y ago
    > same boring people each week What do you think friends are? My uncle has been having dinner Friday nights with the same guys for the last 60 years. Every time he's about to go, he sighs and says, "I hate these guys."
    - Felger 8y ago
      A friend is someone you know quite well, but still like.
mamon 8y ago
What do you mean noone? Forgot Tinder, Badoo and others? :)
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
- qnsi 8y ago
  These are interested in romantic relationships. Of those only Bumble has BFF mode, but where I lived there were only 5 people to swipe on and it was super weird to judge your future friends based on looks
PavlovsCat 8y ago
> Why there is no volunteering opportunities that focus on making friends first and only second helping the cause? That's a really wonderful and underrated idea, actually. It may very well be the solution to a whole array of problems. This always warms my heart, and I know they made at least individual lives better, even if they didn't (yet) manage to change the situation single-handedly: http://thepeacefactory.org/ http://thepeacefactory.org/ > "We are a social online movement that connects people over the middle east"
gowld 8y ago
I recall an extremely successful startup from 2000 years ago that attacked this problem, and continues to this today. It's greatest competition is from all the otehr startups of the past 2 decades ;-)
- toyg 8y ago
  If you think organised religion is about "making friends", you are very, very naive.
  - xapata 8y ago
    Don't discount that motivation for being religious. I know many people who are church regulars, because that's their only social interaction.
- OpenBSD-reich 8y ago
  I've often thought there needs to be a 'church' for Atheists, basically a carbon copy of the modern churches but with jesus and bible stripped out completely. The social grouping is therapeudic and I think the religion meme hitches to this for continuation and longevity. The other possibility is to make dues-free fraternal organizations. Churches are payment-optional so why not payment-optional frats? Say dues payment halves bar prices (and no-dues prices are somewhat uncomfortably high).
  - snthd 8y ago
    There is, of course - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunday_Assembly https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunday_Assembly . It's non-religious rather than atheistic.
  - cowpewter 8y ago
    There's always the Universal Unitarians.
eksemplar 8y ago
Tech is probably a big part of the problem to begin with, I'm not sure more tech can fix it. Especially not if it's something like Tinder, where being attractive means you get all the attention and being unattractive means you get none. There are a lot of organisations and volunteering options that deal with loneliness though, at least where I'm from, but they aren't really working. I mean, they are better than the alternative, which is often no social contact, but they aren't curing loneliness because the people involved in the programs are often painfully aware of the fact that they are being helped. I think what is needed is more environment for adults to hang out. The basic recipe for friendship is basically spending time together outside of work. Spend enough time together and you grow on each other. That's easy when you're young, but once you finish your education, it stops completely, and if you don't have a friend circle or some hobby activity where you'll get stuck with the same people on a regular basis, then you'll probably end up being lonely. Can tech fix that? I doubt it. But board game cafes are doing an excellent job all over Europe.
- mjevans 8y ago
  I agree Tech (probably) can't fix it (directly). I'd also agree Tech has enabled things that expose how broken society has always* (probably?) been; and enables it to be even worse (probably...) today. Yet Tech is a tool; it might enable a solution that helps us be better.
ProAm 8y ago
> Why is noone doing anything about this? You are sort of answering your own question, why are you not doing anything about this? Everyone seems to wait for 'someone' to do something about this.
jungletime 8y ago
Casinos are doing something about this. They jumped in to exploit this situation. Most popular activity, Slots, are all software based now. For many people with a casino in town, its the only affordable place that adults/elderly can hang out for hours with other adults. Relatively cheap at first if they play penny slots. Mind you, its a trap, since many of these people will get addicted fairly quickly. But pretty much everything costs money now. Going outside in Winter for an elderly person is not really suitable. The weather might be too harsh for many days in a row. But even in the summer, a trip to a national park could be $100+ with fuel and camping. So pretty pricey, for someone on a pension. And hanging out in a bar is not a great alternative either. Its not cheap, and carries serious downsides like drinking and driving charges, alcohol addiction and so on. I love capitalism. But pretty much everything that could cost money, does. My town, recently bulldozed rider made, mountain biking paths in two parks. Only to announce its own trail project half a year later. I have strong suspicion that it will cost money at some point in the future to ride these trails.
wppick 8y ago
I think video games are starting to fill this niche. Games like call of duty and destiny served as a way for me to socialize and stay in touch with friends from a different city
- Rjevski 8y ago
  The issue with gaming is that the community as a whole is toxic, probably due to the lowered barrier to entry (a redux of the “eternal September”) which means that immature kids can now join games and swear all day on the mic. I remember back in 2008 I used to play Crysis and a side-effect of the game’s insane hardware requirements (for the time) meant it weeded out a lot of bad actors. On any server you’d join the chat was always polite with real conversations instead of swearing & complaining which is all that I seem to notice now on modern games.

by qnsi 8y ago

erikpukinskis 8y ago

I think something like what you're describing is possible.

petra 8y ago

There are some non-profits working on that , and one company that matches seniors to college students for shared living(students save money, seniors get friendship and help).

com2kid 8y ago

My startup is working on this. We are kinda-sorta meetup based, to the extent that we want people to get out of their houses and be active in their local communities, be it hiking, going to local venues, or hanging out at local parks. I'm writing this comment in-between writing the code to help this very problem. Anyone in the Seattle area who is interested in helping (early stage startup, boot strapped, app and back-end nearing completion) shoot me a message.

deleted 8y ago
[deleted]
Felger 8y ago
In France we have urbeez ("On va sortir", litterally "let's get out"). ... Where you meet the same boring people each week, for years.
- xapata 8y ago
  > same boring people each week What do you think friends are? My uncle has been having dinner Friday nights with the same guys for the last 60 years. Every time he's about to go, he sighs and says, "I hate these guys."
  - Felger 8y ago
    A friend is someone you know quite well, but still like.

mamon 8y ago

What do you mean noone? Forgot Tinder, Badoo and others? :)

deleted 8y ago
[deleted]
qnsi 8y ago
These are interested in romantic relationships. Of those only Bumble has BFF mode, but where I lived there were only 5 people to swipe on and it was super weird to judge your future friends based on looks

PavlovsCat 8y ago

> Why there is no volunteering opportunities that focus on making friends first and only second helping the cause? That's a really wonderful and underrated idea, actually. It may very well be the solution to a whole array of problems. This always warms my heart, and I know they made at least individual lives better, even if they didn't (yet) manage to change the situation single-handedly: http://thepeacefactory.org/ http://thepeacefactory.org/ > "We are a social online movement that connects people over the middle east"

gowld 8y ago

I recall an extremely successful startup from 2000 years ago that attacked this problem, and continues to this today. It's greatest competition is from all the otehr startups of the past 2 decades ;-)

toyg 8y ago
If you think organised religion is about "making friends", you are very, very naive.
- xapata 8y ago
  Don't discount that motivation for being religious. I know many people who are church regulars, because that's their only social interaction.
OpenBSD-reich 8y ago
I've often thought there needs to be a 'church' for Atheists, basically a carbon copy of the modern churches but with jesus and bible stripped out completely. The social grouping is therapeudic and I think the religion meme hitches to this for continuation and longevity. The other possibility is to make dues-free fraternal organizations. Churches are payment-optional so why not payment-optional frats? Say dues payment halves bar prices (and no-dues prices are somewhat uncomfortably high).
- snthd 8y ago
  There is, of course - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunday_Assembly https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunday_Assembly . It's non-religious rather than atheistic.
- cowpewter 8y ago
  There's always the Universal Unitarians.

eksemplar 8y ago

Tech is probably a big part of the problem to begin with, I'm not sure more tech can fix it. Especially not if it's something like Tinder, where being attractive means you get all the attention and being unattractive means you get none. There are a lot of organisations and volunteering options that deal with loneliness though, at least where I'm from, but they aren't really working. I mean, they are better than the alternative, which is often no social contact, but they aren't curing loneliness because the people involved in the programs are often painfully aware of the fact that they are being helped. I think what is needed is more environment for adults to hang out. The basic recipe for friendship is basically spending time together outside of work. Spend enough time together and you grow on each other. That's easy when you're young, but once you finish your education, it stops completely, and if you don't have a friend circle or some hobby activity where you'll get stuck with the same people on a regular basis, then you'll probably end up being lonely. Can tech fix that? I doubt it. But board game cafes are doing an excellent job all over Europe.

mjevans 8y ago
I agree Tech (probably) can't fix it (directly). I'd also agree Tech has enabled things that expose how broken society has always* (probably?) been; and enables it to be even worse (probably...) today. Yet Tech is a tool; it might enable a solution that helps us be better.

ProAm 8y ago

> Why is noone doing anything about this? You are sort of answering your own question, why are you not doing anything about this? Everyone seems to wait for 'someone' to do something about this.

jungletime 8y ago

Casinos are doing something about this. They jumped in to exploit this situation. Most popular activity, Slots, are all software based now. For many people with a casino in town, its the only affordable place that adults/elderly can hang out for hours with other adults. Relatively cheap at first if they play penny slots. Mind you, its a trap, since many of these people will get addicted fairly quickly. But pretty much everything costs money now. Going outside in Winter for an elderly person is not really suitable. The weather might be too harsh for many days in a row. But even in the summer, a trip to a national park could be $100+ with fuel and camping. So pretty pricey, for someone on a pension. And hanging out in a bar is not a great alternative either. Its not cheap, and carries serious downsides like drinking and driving charges, alcohol addiction and so on. I love capitalism. But pretty much everything that could cost money, does. My town, recently bulldozed rider made, mountain biking paths in two parks. Only to announce its own trail project half a year later. I have strong suspicion that it will cost money at some point in the future to ride these trails.

wppick 8y ago

I think video games are starting to fill this niche. Games like call of duty and destiny served as a way for me to socialize and stay in touch with friends from a different city

Rjevski 8y ago
The issue with gaming is that the community as a whole is toxic, probably due to the lowered barrier to entry (a redux of the “eternal September”) which means that immature kids can now join games and swear all day on the mic. I remember back in 2008 I used to play Crysis and a side-effect of the game’s insane hardware requirements (for the time) meant it weeded out a lot of bad actors. On any server you’d join the chat was always polite with real conversations instead of swearing & complaining which is all that I seem to notice now on modern games.