Even if you're talking about reading the most vapid genre fiction here, you still looking at things from the view that the purpose of everyone's life is to alwa

Even if you're talking about reading the most vapid genre fiction here, you still looking at things from the view that the purpose of everyone's life is to always be moving forward, progressing, building, achieving, getting better. Some people's feeling of purpose is different; look at Epicureanism for instance. It sounds like you're stuck in the mindset that every moment not spent actively achieving something is time wasted. That can be a stressful way to live. Maybe if you're really looking to "get past the existential crisis" as you say, and you want to read books but feel like you shouldn't, it might be worth thinking about what you really want out of life as a whole. But I understand that it can be hard to rationalize, because our time on Earth is so limited. Maybe you could compromise and only read books that teach something. Even good fiction teaches you about people and different ways of thinking.