Ask HN: All-In-One printer that doesn't suck for home use?

I know this is a strange question for HN. But I think it's one of the hardest problems I've ever encountered. I would like an all-in-one wireless printer that does duplex printing (20/30 pages per print, ideally in color), duplex scanning (at least 10 pages in the feeder) ideally to Google Drive/Dropbox, that keeps working for more than a year or two without jamming continuously (both in scan and print). It should not be enormous - let's say that 20in/50cm per side (hypothesizing a cubic shape) should be the limit. I care not about speed. I expect using it for printing 20 sheets a week, and scanning the same amount of documents. It should last at least five years. I'd like to pay no more than 400 USD. I've tried some SOHO printers (Epson Workforce Pro, inkjet, and a Brother - can't remember the model, but it was a laser printer) with lukewarm results. The Epson keeps jamming (I always used original cartridges) and sometimes nozzles get blocked. The Brother just keeps jamming or locking up. Isn't there any startup tackling that problem space?