4 ms·

My son is two weeks old by now, and the nurses at the hospital all said that a mother won't crush her child in bed. Apparently women have some kinds of instinct

by Tichy 16y ago

My son is two weeks old by now, and the nurses at the hospital all said that a mother won't crush her child in bed. Apparently women have some kinds of instincts at work here. Men are a less safe bet, apparently. My sister (a phyisician) said that it can be dangerous if the men are drugged (alcohol, for example). There is also the sudden infant death syndrome. They still don't know what's going on, but statistics seem to dictate to have the baby sleep in the same room, but separate bed. That doesn't apply for the first four weeks, though - in the first four weeks it is apparently fine to have the baby sleep in the same bed. Also consider that the sudden infant death thing stems from the cold world of modern medicine. I think in individual cases it is probably OK to not stick to every rule. Some might be more important than others, too. For example smoking in the household seems to be extremely bad. Wish I had access to the raw statistics.

petervandijck 16y ago
You won't crush your baby, don't worry about it. (Unless you go to sleep drunk or something, I mean, really!) You can put that big pregnancy pillow around them for extra comfort.
- lazyant 16y ago
  I know of a case where a baby died of asphyxiation while sleeping on the parent's bed. It may be isolated incident or whatever but I wouldn't dismiss this risk.
  - pyre 16y ago
    There are other cultures where sleeping with your baby is the norm, and they don't have issues babies dying left and right due to parents rolling over on them, so I think we need more than anecdotes to say that it's dangerous.
    - lazyant 16y ago
      I'm not saying it's a huge problem (I don't know) but it doesn't seem a good idea to risk it: "There has been a fourfold increase in the rate of infant strangulation and suffocation in the U.S. in the past 20 years, according to a report released today, and the apparent cause (though hardly the definitive one) is the rise in numbers of babies who share beds with their parents." source: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/26/the-risks-of-sleeping-with-your-baby/ http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/26/the-risks-of-s... "The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) warn that infants should not co-sleep with their parents." source: http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/298_29656.asp http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/298_29656.asp "Adults sleeping with babies increases risk of sudden and unexplained infant death, inquest finds" source http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/health-science/adults-sleeping-with-babies-increases-risk-of-sudden-and-unexplained-infant-death-inquest-finds/story-e6frg8y6-1225932273399 http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/health-science/adults-s...
      - pyre 16y ago
        It's also true that babies that sleep with their parents hasn't been a cultural thing in the US. I'd say that in the last 20 years, the number of people doing it has increased, which likely accounts for the increase in the numbers of deaths due to it. Using this same logic, we should have abandoned the adoption of the automobile because as it became more and more commonplace, automobile-related deaths rose as well.
        lazyant 16y ago
        It's a simple trade-off or risk management. In the case of cars we accept the risk in exchange for our lifestyle (going to work, go to buy food etc) so this is an acceptable trade-off for most people (I like to reduce the driving risk by grouping errands, walking when I can etc). In the case of sleeping with a baby you are taking a risk but for what reward? "cultural thing"? not having to sit up in bed and reach to the crib? this risk/reward ratio is horrible and cannot be compared with the one for cars.
        16y ago
    - oconnor0 16y ago
      I think in this case anecdotes is a fine data point. While there may not be a statistically significant increase in deaths for babies sleeping in bed with their parents, accidentally killing your kid by rolling over on them would be horrible.
      - petervandijck 16y ago
        Having your baby die in the next room because you couldn't hear them struggle would be horrible too. Just don't sleep next to them dead-drunk, and put a pregnancy pillow around them. It's fine.
  - petervandijck 16y ago
    There are unfortunately a lot of babies that die. Many of unknown causes, and of asphyxiation. (Depending on how you define a "lot"). The only true research that I know of is the one that says to have them sleep on their backs, not on their bellies.
ceejayoz 16y ago
> Also consider that the sudden infant death thing stems from the cold world of modern medicine. The term does. The phenomenon is hardly new. Infants probably have died suddenly and without quick explanation ever since there were infants.
- deleted 16y ago
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- Tichy 16y ago
  What I meant is the way medicine reacts is well, the way modern medicine reacts. Of course the problem is real and every parent is scared about it, so it is good that we have at least some guidelines. It's just, if you let medicine run it's course unchecked, it can get ugly. We stayed in the hospital for three days after the birth. On day two we were close to fleeing home, because the nurses would always think of yet another possible problem and yet another check they should run (everything was fine). Hard to explain if you never had the experience of too much medical interference.
deleted 16y ago
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by Tichy 16y ago

petervandijck 16y ago

You won't crush your baby, don't worry about it. (Unless you go to sleep drunk or something, I mean, really!) You can put that big pregnancy pillow around them for extra comfort.

lazyant 16y ago
I know of a case where a baby died of asphyxiation while sleeping on the parent's bed. It may be isolated incident or whatever but I wouldn't dismiss this risk.
- pyre 16y ago
  There are other cultures where sleeping with your baby is the norm, and they don't have issues babies dying left and right due to parents rolling over on them, so I think we need more than anecdotes to say that it's dangerous.
  - lazyant 16y ago
    I'm not saying it's a huge problem (I don't know) but it doesn't seem a good idea to risk it: "There has been a fourfold increase in the rate of infant strangulation and suffocation in the U.S. in the past 20 years, according to a report released today, and the apparent cause (though hardly the definitive one) is the rise in numbers of babies who share beds with their parents." source: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/26/the-risks-of-sleeping-with-your-baby/ http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/26/the-risks-of-s... "The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) warn that infants should not co-sleep with their parents." source: http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/298_29656.asp http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/298_29656.asp "Adults sleeping with babies increases risk of sudden and unexplained infant death, inquest finds" source http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/health-science/adults-sleeping-with-babies-increases-risk-of-sudden-and-unexplained-infant-death-inquest-finds/story-e6frg8y6-1225932273399 http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/health-science/adults-s...
    - pyre 16y ago
      It's also true that babies that sleep with their parents hasn't been a cultural thing in the US. I'd say that in the last 20 years, the number of people doing it has increased, which likely accounts for the increase in the numbers of deaths due to it. Using this same logic, we should have abandoned the adoption of the automobile because as it became more and more commonplace, automobile-related deaths rose as well.
      - lazyant 16y ago
        It's a simple trade-off or risk management. In the case of cars we accept the risk in exchange for our lifestyle (going to work, go to buy food etc) so this is an acceptable trade-off for most people (I like to reduce the driving risk by grouping errands, walking when I can etc). In the case of sleeping with a baby you are taking a risk but for what reward? "cultural thing"? not having to sit up in bed and reach to the crib? this risk/reward ratio is horrible and cannot be compared with the one for cars.
        16y ago
  - oconnor0 16y ago
    I think in this case anecdotes is a fine data point. While there may not be a statistically significant increase in deaths for babies sleeping in bed with their parents, accidentally killing your kid by rolling over on them would be horrible.
    - petervandijck 16y ago
      Having your baby die in the next room because you couldn't hear them struggle would be horrible too. Just don't sleep next to them dead-drunk, and put a pregnancy pillow around them. It's fine.
- petervandijck 16y ago
  There are unfortunately a lot of babies that die. Many of unknown causes, and of asphyxiation. (Depending on how you define a "lot"). The only true research that I know of is the one that says to have them sleep on their backs, not on their bellies.

ceejayoz 16y ago

> Also consider that the sudden infant death thing stems from the cold world of modern medicine. The term does. The phenomenon is hardly new. Infants probably have died suddenly and without quick explanation ever since there were infants.

deleted 16y ago
[deleted]
Tichy 16y ago
What I meant is the way medicine reacts is well, the way modern medicine reacts. Of course the problem is real and every parent is scared about it, so it is good that we have at least some guidelines. It's just, if you let medicine run it's course unchecked, it can get ugly. We stayed in the hospital for three days after the birth. On day two we were close to fleeing home, because the nurses would always think of yet another possible problem and yet another check they should run (everything was fine). Hard to explain if you never had the experience of too much medical interference.

deleted 16y ago

[deleted]