8 ms·

There's a two- or three-week period, usually around the six month mark, when your baby can sit up unaided but can't yet crawl. During this time, you can put the

There's a two- or three-week period, usually around the six month mark, when your baby can sit up unaided but can't yet crawl. During this time, you can put the baby down on an activity blanket (supervised, obviously) and enjoy maybe five or ten minute contiguous stretches of uninterrupted time to do stuff. Note: activities like preparing a meal and straightening up the place tend to take priority over developing a startup. A few suggestions to help make things easier for you: * "Attachment parenting" early on pays off hugely in more independent, more emotionally secure children later. Invest in a Trekker [1], Snugli [2] or other baby harness that lets you carry the baby facing inwards or outwards and frees up your arms to do other stuff. * Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. * Seriously consider breastfeeding. Once established (usually takes a few weeks to get really comfortable with it), it's so much healthier, easier and more convenient than bottle feeding that I can't understand why anyone who has the option wouldn't take it. (Disclosure: I'm male, but my spouse agrees 100%.) * Accept and embrace the fact that from now on, all your plans are contingent. Learn to build big buffers around all your scheduled activities. Get in the habit of keeping a utility bag with you at all times. * Don't waste your money on a change table. You will change that baby's diaper wherever you need to do it. (We've changed our baby's diaper in the trunk of our car.) * Don't forget that you and your spouse had reasons to be together before the baby was born. As soon as the baby is old enough, get back into the habit of going on dates and otherwise spending time together. Don't miss opportunities to let your spouse know how much you cherish them. A little act of kindness at a crucial moment can radically transform your family dynamics for the better. I'm sure I'll think of more, but that seems to be a good place to start. As always in anything to do with children, YMMV. [1] http://www.babytrekker.com/ http://www.babytrekker.com/ [2] http://www.evenflo.com/category.aspx?id=23 http://www.evenflo.com/category.aspx?id=23

lordmatty 16y ago
* Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. In my experience this leads to drastically less sleep. You disturb your baby and your baby disturbs you. We put the baby in another room and invested in a baby alarm. * Seriously consider breastfeeding. Yes, but don't pressure yourself too much...the most important thing is that the baby eats properly. Bottle feeding gives you the critical advantage of being able to measure how much the baby eats. * Don't waste your money on a change table. I would say invest! After a week or so of leaning over to change our baby it really affected me sitting at the computer to code. Bad back means bad news for your startup.
- stusmith1977 16y ago
  Agree here. Bending over to change does your back in. And when the poop has gone up their back or down their leg, you want a surface you can bleach. Also agree on sleeping separate - we put ours in the nursery after three nights. He sleeps 7pm - 8am now (at 8 months) and is very happy. Bizarely, tired babies don't sleep well (ie don't keep them up in the hope they'll sleep longer). Put them to bed before they get overtired. If you share a room you will wake each other and you'll all be tired and cranky.
  - joxenford 16y ago
    Sleep separate. We are on baby #2 and #1 slept in our bed for almost 12 mos. It was terrible as the baby got bigger an would move around. No one got sleep. Sleep deprivation is bad for parenting and marriages. If you knew your child's school bus driver was operating on 3-4 hours sleep you'd pitch a fit, why should parents do the same? #2 is sleeping in her room in crib and we have a twin bed in that room and we take turns sleeping in that room with her. She starting to stay asleep at night for longer periods and is almost 6 mos old. She also has terrible reflux since she was born and would vomit up even breastmilk so she is on a special formula.
    - Tyrannosaurs 16y ago
      My experience is that sleeping together makes things easier at the beginning when it does calm them but it's harder to break it the later you leave it so you're just trading off early pain for later pain. We took the pain early and it's worked out well enough that we'll likely do the same the next time round.
      - petervandijck 16y ago
        Our experience was great. She slept with us for a month or so (breastfeeding). Then we felt we'd sleep a little better if we put her in her own bed right next to us, so we did that (in the same room) for a few months. Being in the same room makes it easier because you don't have to go check on her in another room. Then at 6 months or so we put her in her own room. It all went totally smooth. Don't be afraid to sleep with the baby if you feel like it, and don't be afraid to put them in their own bed if you feel like it. It's ok. Also, putting them in their own bed in the same room for a little while gives you a lot of advantages (easy to check on them without getting out of bed etc.) Basically, just do what you feel like and if it isn't working try something else.
x0t 16y ago
> Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. We've got our little one in a cradle next to the bed and my wife is breastfeeding. This is just as convenient, if not moreso than having him in the bed. I sleep like a rock and I'm concerned about squishing the poor guy. > Don't waste your money on a change table. You will change that baby's diaper wherever you need to do it. (We've changed our baby's diaper in the trunk of our car.) Our changing table has a ton of room for storage and can become a dresser for the kid later in life. Our house isn't that big (1750sq ft), so we take him to his room to be changed. It saves a lot of bending over and I think my back is better for it. Additionally, it keeps all the necessary supplies at hand. We have changed him in the trunk, as well. I think it's a rite of passage... > Get in the habit of keeping a utility bag with you at all times. This. Always have baby supplies (and parent supplies) with you. As for the attachment parenting, we have a mobi-wrap and a baby bjorn. I use the hell out of the bjorn, but the mobi-wrap is a bit of a hassle (it's a giant strip of black fabric). My wife, however, loves the mobi. Find some sort of baby carrier that works for you, they're indispensable. EDIT: Also, look for a crib that can be adjusted over time. We picked one up that goes from crib, to deeper crib, to twin sized bed, so our son can potentially use it for years to come.
qstyk 16y ago
Consult your pediatrician before even considering letting your infant sleep with you. There may be additional SIDS concerns.
- Tichy 16y ago
  My son is two weeks old by now, and the nurses at the hospital all said that a mother won't crush her child in bed. Apparently women have some kinds of instincts at work here. Men are a less safe bet, apparently. My sister (a phyisician) said that it can be dangerous if the men are drugged (alcohol, for example). There is also the sudden infant death syndrome. They still don't know what's going on, but statistics seem to dictate to have the baby sleep in the same room, but separate bed. That doesn't apply for the first four weeks, though - in the first four weeks it is apparently fine to have the baby sleep in the same bed. Also consider that the sudden infant death thing stems from the cold world of modern medicine. I think in individual cases it is probably OK to not stick to every rule. Some might be more important than others, too. For example smoking in the household seems to be extremely bad. Wish I had access to the raw statistics.
  - petervandijck 16y ago
    You won't crush your baby, don't worry about it. (Unless you go to sleep drunk or something, I mean, really!) You can put that big pregnancy pillow around them for extra comfort.
    - lazyant 16y ago
      I know of a case where a baby died of asphyxiation while sleeping on the parent's bed. It may be isolated incident or whatever but I wouldn't dismiss this risk.
      - pyre 16y ago
        There are other cultures where sleeping with your baby is the norm, and they don't have issues babies dying left and right due to parents rolling over on them, so I think we need more than anecdotes to say that it's dangerous.
sdenheyer 16y ago
Everyone we know who used "attachment" techniques around bedtime had long-term issues with their childrens' sleeping habits. We let both our girls (now 1 & 3) "cry it out." It was quite hard for a couple of weeks, but they both now have very good sleeping schedules. And, as far as I can tell, no psychological damage! Sleep with your baby if you find it emotionally gratifying, but I'm skeptical that there's any significant benefit. It didn't work for us - my wife still wakes up occasionally from disturbing "baby in the bed" dreams.
- jerf 16y ago
  I have the exact opposite experience; everyone who didn't use attachment has screaming wrecks at ~2 years and we're getting sleeping through the night. Sample size roughly five children, utterly unrandomly chosen. Hooray anecdotes!
  - sdenheyer 16y ago
    I agree - evidence is awesome. Here's a pretty good assessment of it: http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/774928.html http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/774928.html One thing I don't think is in dispute: "Cry it out" works quickly and involves less exhaustion for parents and children.
    - jerf 16y ago
      Wow, nice link! It really seems to boil down to a big ol' "I dunno" from science, which is at least a bound on the virtues/dangers of the approach if nothing else. As someone who is actually relatively interested in science, I have noticed that it isn't very helpful when it comes to parenting, except in a few cases which tend not to be very surprising ("hey, don't smoke around your baby"). The studies are so small and there are so many confounding factors I almost wonder why they try. I'm satisfied with our outcome, nobody got exhausted and we're in a pretty good position now, but who really knows why?
      - sdenheyer 16y ago
lazyant 16y ago
> Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. No. Everybody gets less sleep and for small babies there's a serious risk of death.
- kennethlove 16y ago
  No, you'll sleep fine and there's no more risk of SIDS in co-sleeping babies than those that sleep in cribs and some serious research to suggest that co-sleepers are actually safer.
  - lazyant 16y ago
    For evidence of the risk please see my reply below http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1839044 http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1839044 . I believe SIDS is not yet very well understood, but there's also risk of asphyxiation. Also if you sleep fine, good for you. I wouldn't and couldn't sleep well knowing there's a risk (although small) of hurting a baby.
- dasil003 16y ago
  > No. Everybody gets less sleep and for small babies there's a serious risk of death. I've heard this but I don't buy it. People have been sleeping this way for millions of years. Normally I believe parents are plenty in tune with their baby's presence not to roll over on them. If you're a heavy drinker then yeah you should probably go sleep on the couch. But as a parent you often have to make choices with conflicting information. If you want the best of both worlds get a co-sleeper.
  - lazyant 16y ago
    "People have been sleeping this way for millions of years". First off mattresses and the way we sleep now are only a few hundred years old. Second we don't have detailed statistics for infant deaths until very recently so we don't know how many babies were dying a long time ago and for what causes. For evidence of the risk please see my reply below http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1839044 http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1839044
wiredfool 16y ago
We've used all sorts of wearable baby things, and the most I can say is that they're all different. Every one of them will work for some parents and some babies. Long term, after 3 kids and 6 years of the things, the ones that we're using are a mayan style ring sling, an ergo, and a couple of fleece fitted slings that my wife made.
danbmil99 16y ago
> Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. It might be worth pointing out that your 'baby' will in all likelihood still be sleeping with you in 6 years.

lordmatty 16y ago

* Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. In my experience this leads to drastically less sleep. You disturb your baby and your baby disturbs you. We put the baby in another room and invested in a baby alarm. * Seriously consider breastfeeding. Yes, but don't pressure yourself too much...the most important thing is that the baby eats properly. Bottle feeding gives you the critical advantage of being able to measure how much the baby eats. * Don't waste your money on a change table. I would say invest! After a week or so of leaning over to change our baby it really affected me sitting at the computer to code. Bad back means bad news for your startup.

stusmith1977 16y ago
Agree here. Bending over to change does your back in. And when the poop has gone up their back or down their leg, you want a surface you can bleach. Also agree on sleeping separate - we put ours in the nursery after three nights. He sleeps 7pm - 8am now (at 8 months) and is very happy. Bizarely, tired babies don't sleep well (ie don't keep them up in the hope they'll sleep longer). Put them to bed before they get overtired. If you share a room you will wake each other and you'll all be tired and cranky.
- joxenford 16y ago
  Sleep separate. We are on baby #2 and #1 slept in our bed for almost 12 mos. It was terrible as the baby got bigger an would move around. No one got sleep. Sleep deprivation is bad for parenting and marriages. If you knew your child's school bus driver was operating on 3-4 hours sleep you'd pitch a fit, why should parents do the same? #2 is sleeping in her room in crib and we have a twin bed in that room and we take turns sleeping in that room with her. She starting to stay asleep at night for longer periods and is almost 6 mos old. She also has terrible reflux since she was born and would vomit up even breastmilk so she is on a special formula.
  - Tyrannosaurs 16y ago
    My experience is that sleeping together makes things easier at the beginning when it does calm them but it's harder to break it the later you leave it so you're just trading off early pain for later pain. We took the pain early and it's worked out well enough that we'll likely do the same the next time round.
    - petervandijck 16y ago
      Our experience was great. She slept with us for a month or so (breastfeeding). Then we felt we'd sleep a little better if we put her in her own bed right next to us, so we did that (in the same room) for a few months. Being in the same room makes it easier because you don't have to go check on her in another room. Then at 6 months or so we put her in her own room. It all went totally smooth. Don't be afraid to sleep with the baby if you feel like it, and don't be afraid to put them in their own bed if you feel like it. It's ok. Also, putting them in their own bed in the same room for a little while gives you a lot of advantages (easy to check on them without getting out of bed etc.) Basically, just do what you feel like and if it isn't working try something else.

x0t 16y ago

> Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. We've got our little one in a cradle next to the bed and my wife is breastfeeding. This is just as convenient, if not moreso than having him in the bed. I sleep like a rock and I'm concerned about squishing the poor guy. > Don't waste your money on a change table. You will change that baby's diaper wherever you need to do it. (We've changed our baby's diaper in the trunk of our car.) Our changing table has a ton of room for storage and can become a dresser for the kid later in life. Our house isn't that big (1750sq ft), so we take him to his room to be changed. It saves a lot of bending over and I think my back is better for it. Additionally, it keeps all the necessary supplies at hand. We have changed him in the trunk, as well. I think it's a rite of passage... > Get in the habit of keeping a utility bag with you at all times. This. Always have baby supplies (and parent supplies) with you. As for the attachment parenting, we have a mobi-wrap and a baby bjorn. I use the hell out of the bjorn, but the mobi-wrap is a bit of a hassle (it's a giant strip of black fabric). My wife, however, loves the mobi. Find some sort of baby carrier that works for you, they're indispensable. EDIT: Also, look for a crib that can be adjusted over time. We picked one up that goes from crib, to deeper crib, to twin sized bed, so our son can potentially use it for years to come.

qstyk 16y ago

Consult your pediatrician before even considering letting your infant sleep with you. There may be additional SIDS concerns.

Tichy 16y ago
My son is two weeks old by now, and the nurses at the hospital all said that a mother won't crush her child in bed. Apparently women have some kinds of instincts at work here. Men are a less safe bet, apparently. My sister (a phyisician) said that it can be dangerous if the men are drugged (alcohol, for example). There is also the sudden infant death syndrome. They still don't know what's going on, but statistics seem to dictate to have the baby sleep in the same room, but separate bed. That doesn't apply for the first four weeks, though - in the first four weeks it is apparently fine to have the baby sleep in the same bed. Also consider that the sudden infant death thing stems from the cold world of modern medicine. I think in individual cases it is probably OK to not stick to every rule. Some might be more important than others, too. For example smoking in the household seems to be extremely bad. Wish I had access to the raw statistics.
- petervandijck 16y ago
  You won't crush your baby, don't worry about it. (Unless you go to sleep drunk or something, I mean, really!) You can put that big pregnancy pillow around them for extra comfort.
  - lazyant 16y ago
    I know of a case where a baby died of asphyxiation while sleeping on the parent's bed. It may be isolated incident or whatever but I wouldn't dismiss this risk.
    - pyre 16y ago
      There are other cultures where sleeping with your baby is the norm, and they don't have issues babies dying left and right due to parents rolling over on them, so I think we need more than anecdotes to say that it's dangerous.

sdenheyer 16y ago

Everyone we know who used "attachment" techniques around bedtime had long-term issues with their childrens' sleeping habits. We let both our girls (now 1 & 3) "cry it out." It was quite hard for a couple of weeks, but they both now have very good sleeping schedules. And, as far as I can tell, no psychological damage! Sleep with your baby if you find it emotionally gratifying, but I'm skeptical that there's any significant benefit. It didn't work for us - my wife still wakes up occasionally from disturbing "baby in the bed" dreams.

jerf 16y ago
I have the exact opposite experience; everyone who didn't use attachment has screaming wrecks at ~2 years and we're getting sleeping through the night. Sample size roughly five children, utterly unrandomly chosen. Hooray anecdotes!
- sdenheyer 16y ago
  I agree - evidence is awesome. Here's a pretty good assessment of it: http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/774928.html http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/774928.html One thing I don't think is in dispute: "Cry it out" works quickly and involves less exhaustion for parents and children.
  - jerf 16y ago
    Wow, nice link! It really seems to boil down to a big ol' "I dunno" from science, which is at least a bound on the virtues/dangers of the approach if nothing else. As someone who is actually relatively interested in science, I have noticed that it isn't very helpful when it comes to parenting, except in a few cases which tend not to be very surprising ("hey, don't smoke around your baby"). The studies are so small and there are so many confounding factors I almost wonder why they try. I'm satisfied with our outcome, nobody got exhausted and we're in a pretty good position now, but who really knows why?
    - sdenheyer 16y ago

lazyant 16y ago

> Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. No. Everybody gets less sleep and for small babies there's a serious risk of death.

kennethlove 16y ago
No, you'll sleep fine and there's no more risk of SIDS in co-sleeping babies than those that sleep in cribs and some serious research to suggest that co-sleepers are actually safer.
- lazyant 16y ago
  For evidence of the risk please see my reply below http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1839044 http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1839044 . I believe SIDS is not yet very well understood, but there's also risk of asphyxiation. Also if you sleep fine, good for you. I wouldn't and couldn't sleep well knowing there's a risk (although small) of hurting a baby.
dasil003 16y ago
> No. Everybody gets less sleep and for small babies there's a serious risk of death. I've heard this but I don't buy it. People have been sleeping this way for millions of years. Normally I believe parents are plenty in tune with their baby's presence not to roll over on them. If you're a heavy drinker then yeah you should probably go sleep on the couch. But as a parent you often have to make choices with conflicting information. If you want the best of both worlds get a co-sleeper.
- lazyant 16y ago
  "People have been sleeping this way for millions of years". First off mattresses and the way we sleep now are only a few hundred years old. Second we don't have detailed statistics for infant deaths until very recently so we don't know how many babies were dying a long time ago and for what causes. For evidence of the risk please see my reply below http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1839044 http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1839044

wiredfool 16y ago

We've used all sorts of wearable baby things, and the most I can say is that they're all different. Every one of them will work for some parents and some babies. Long term, after 3 kids and 6 years of the things, the ones that we're using are a mayan style ring sling, an ergo, and a couple of fleece fitted slings that my wife made.

danbmil99 16y ago

> Seriously consider having the baby sleep in your bed with you, especially if you/your spouse are breastfeeding. It might be worth pointing out that your 'baby' will in all likelihood still be sleeping with you in 6 years.