5 ms·

> expectation is sometimes that women dont swear etc. FWIW, a woman swearing definitely lowers her attractiveness, at least to me, by quite a bit.

cjslep 8y ago
My wife knows how to tell a story and use just a few curse words, if the company is right, to really deliver an impactful, humanizing, and relatable event. It's part of why I love her. Different strokes for different folks.
- skookumchuck 8y ago
  Swearing can be very impactful when sparingly and appropriately applied. Using "fucking" as a universal adjective and "shit" as a universal noun not only lacks class, it is a complete absence of eloquence.
- ddingus 8y ago
  Profanity as a part of speech. She gets it. Lazy profanity carries most of the value in the expression. Carlin: Fuck the fucking fuckers. Not lazy profanity adds to strong value, and is valid and potent. You picked well. I have one of those in my life too. She is a gem.
DoreenMichele 8y ago
For another data point: I'm an American woman. I swear like a sailor. Sadly, this has failed to be man-repellent. If only! My life would be vastly simpler if my foul mouth just got me left the hell alone by men. Also, everything I have read and experienced suggests that other women are a huge source of social pressure on female behavior, possibly far more than male sexual predilections. An actress once said "I dress for women. I undress for men." That seems to sum certain things up nicely in a nutshell.
- skookumchuck 8y ago
  When I pick up my date, if she's obviously spent effort to dress nice for our evening, it's a big plus for me. A lot of men (me included) check for a ring and do not approach if there is one. Not all men are dissuaded by that, of course. Consider there are a lot worse things than being attractive to men. Attractiveness makes for many opportunities, studies show that attractive people get paid more and get better tips. I am not physically attractive to women (none of my girlfriends have ever complimented me on my looks) so I have to work that much harder. Maybe they like me because I don't swear :-)
  - DoreenMichele 8y ago
    Consider there are a lot worse things than being attractive to men. Plenty of women have been raped and stalked. Some would be hard pressed to name worse experiences than the ones they have had for the crime of being attractive.
    - xor1 8y ago
      Plenty of people have been harmed due to their wealth. Does that mean you would rather be poor than rich?
      - DoreenMichele 8y ago
        What I wish is that I had not been molested and raped as a child and that I weren't currently being cyberstalked by nefarious individuals that have a track record of genuinely materially harming me. In fact, I wish a short list of people who have harmed me and will not cease and desist their icky crap would kindly drop dead as the only thing they could possibly do to enhance my life. I also wish I didn't have to put up with "gotcha" questions of this sort.
        watwut 8y ago
        It that harassement about you being attractive or more of about that person being asshole on power trip? What I mean to say is that even if you was ugly and all women would cover themselves from toes to head, assholes on poverty trip (of both genders) would still harass and abuse. I wish it will get better for you.
- watwut 8y ago
  I did not mean to imply that no American women swear. But, I never expected that swearing would be man-repellent nor was told anything of the sort. > Also, everything I have read and experienced suggests that other women are a huge source of social pressure on female behavior, possibly far more than male sexual predilections. It is kind of interesting that whenever general "society expects women x" many many people translate it into "men expects women x". My observation is that men are bigger on putting social pressure on other men and women on other women. Or more generally, people tend to be much bigger on being upset about breaking rules they consider themselves being bound up to.
  - skookumchuck 8y ago
    > I never expected that swearing would be man-repellent nor was told anything of the sort. It's not just me. It's unusual to see a couple where one swears and the other doesn't. Swearing will also exclude one from various social, business, and political circles, and they'll never tell you why. They may not even consciously know themselves.
    - watwut 8y ago
      I did not downvoted you. Some people mind swearing, others don't, yet others mind it sometimes (me) and rules of attraction are subjective.
- ddingus 8y ago
  Well, I like women who swear, and I like them because I swear too. Profanity is often used as an expression of comfort and security among ones peers. That is nice to have in play. Happy to leave you alone that way. :D But would enjoy working with you otherwise. Sadly, a lot of guys see that signal as the wrong kind. Unfortunate. As for dress, it should be for you first and foremost. Those other people should be doing them, you do you. Maybe we will get there.
- skookumchuck 8y ago
  Swearing at work can also impair one's promotion. I wouldn't promote a person who couldn't keep their swearing in check. It's bad for business.

cjslep 8y ago

My wife knows how to tell a story and use just a few curse words, if the company is right, to really deliver an impactful, humanizing, and relatable event. It's part of why I love her. Different strokes for different folks.

skookumchuck 8y ago
Swearing can be very impactful when sparingly and appropriately applied. Using "fucking" as a universal adjective and "shit" as a universal noun not only lacks class, it is a complete absence of eloquence.
ddingus 8y ago
Profanity as a part of speech. She gets it. Lazy profanity carries most of the value in the expression. Carlin: Fuck the fucking fuckers. Not lazy profanity adds to strong value, and is valid and potent. You picked well. I have one of those in my life too. She is a gem.

DoreenMichele 8y ago

For another data point: I'm an American woman. I swear like a sailor. Sadly, this has failed to be man-repellent. If only! My life would be vastly simpler if my foul mouth just got me left the hell alone by men. Also, everything I have read and experienced suggests that other women are a huge source of social pressure on female behavior, possibly far more than male sexual predilections. An actress once said "I dress for women. I undress for men." That seems to sum certain things up nicely in a nutshell.

skookumchuck 8y ago
When I pick up my date, if she's obviously spent effort to dress nice for our evening, it's a big plus for me. A lot of men (me included) check for a ring and do not approach if there is one. Not all men are dissuaded by that, of course. Consider there are a lot worse things than being attractive to men. Attractiveness makes for many opportunities, studies show that attractive people get paid more and get better tips. I am not physically attractive to women (none of my girlfriends have ever complimented me on my looks) so I have to work that much harder. Maybe they like me because I don't swear :-)
- DoreenMichele 8y ago
  Consider there are a lot worse things than being attractive to men. Plenty of women have been raped and stalked. Some would be hard pressed to name worse experiences than the ones they have had for the crime of being attractive.
  - xor1 8y ago
    Plenty of people have been harmed due to their wealth. Does that mean you would rather be poor than rich?
    - DoreenMichele 8y ago
      What I wish is that I had not been molested and raped as a child and that I weren't currently being cyberstalked by nefarious individuals that have a track record of genuinely materially harming me. In fact, I wish a short list of people who have harmed me and will not cease and desist their icky crap would kindly drop dead as the only thing they could possibly do to enhance my life. I also wish I didn't have to put up with "gotcha" questions of this sort.
      - watwut 8y ago
        It that harassement about you being attractive or more of about that person being asshole on power trip? What I mean to say is that even if you was ugly and all women would cover themselves from toes to head, assholes on poverty trip (of both genders) would still harass and abuse. I wish it will get better for you.
watwut 8y ago
I did not mean to imply that no American women swear. But, I never expected that swearing would be man-repellent nor was told anything of the sort. > Also, everything I have read and experienced suggests that other women are a huge source of social pressure on female behavior, possibly far more than male sexual predilections. It is kind of interesting that whenever general "society expects women x" many many people translate it into "men expects women x". My observation is that men are bigger on putting social pressure on other men and women on other women. Or more generally, people tend to be much bigger on being upset about breaking rules they consider themselves being bound up to.
- skookumchuck 8y ago
  > I never expected that swearing would be man-repellent nor was told anything of the sort. It's not just me. It's unusual to see a couple where one swears and the other doesn't. Swearing will also exclude one from various social, business, and political circles, and they'll never tell you why. They may not even consciously know themselves.
  - watwut 8y ago
    I did not downvoted you. Some people mind swearing, others don't, yet others mind it sometimes (me) and rules of attraction are subjective.
ddingus 8y ago
Well, I like women who swear, and I like them because I swear too. Profanity is often used as an expression of comfort and security among ones peers. That is nice to have in play. Happy to leave you alone that way. :D But would enjoy working with you otherwise. Sadly, a lot of guys see that signal as the wrong kind. Unfortunate. As for dress, it should be for you first and foremost. Those other people should be doing them, you do you. Maybe we will get there.
skookumchuck 8y ago
Swearing at work can also impair one's promotion. I wouldn't promote a person who couldn't keep their swearing in check. It's bad for business.