I have a 3yo and 14mon old. Just about everything revolves around them, except for a precious couple of hours in the evening, when I have to decide between prog

I have a 3yo and 14mon old. Just about everything revolves around them, except for a precious couple of hours in the evening, when I have to decide between programming etc. and cleaning up. Because of professional demands on my time (tech lead at web dev shop), my wife ends up bearing a much larger share of the responsibilites for the household than either of us would like. If there isn't some kind of professional pot o' gold after all my effort, the inequity will just seem unfair -- and in retrospect I will just look like a typical selfish guy. The fussing seems constant sometimes, which is wearing on the nerves. Although I do spend several hours with the kids everyday (daycare exit to bed time), I'm too tired to be the engaged parent that I thought I would. "Inspiration .... to do more"? Absolutely. The financial pressure has increased tremendously. But these are 'the rough times' .... right?