If I was in your situation I would start thinking along the following lines. 1. Tell yourself that it is okay to feel uncomfortable. This is uncomfortable feel

If I was in your situation I would start thinking along the following lines. 1. Tell yourself that it is okay to feel uncomfortable. This is uncomfortable feeling that you're not in control, that you're not making enough, that you're going to miss your one shot. This is the first step at reducing the anxiety of it. 2. Start to remove distracting consumptions. Social media, articles, news, etc. Spend time just being with yourself and appreciate the quiet. Put your phone on flight mode at night and charge it in a different room, get enough sleep. 3. Expose yourself to new perspectives. I have found the following audio books to be instrumental is figuring out how to be happier without greed: a) A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy b) Man's Search for Meaning c) The Power of Now (I'm only about 1 hour into this one, but it's made me think) 4. Start a new routine to break the habit of your current ways of thinking. 5. Meditate to help you regain control of your reactions - become reaction aware. 6. Don't look for whole solutions, progress happens in tiny steps and just keep exploring new ways to approach how you feel, how you motivate, how you enjoy the today. Sometimes it's the smaller things that have more profound effects. 7. Start measuring your progress in years, derived by small daily improvements. I appreciate the above advice might not be for everyone, but it's something I'm going down and enjoying it very much. You already reached a fundamental point, to bring out of your subconscious how you really feel. Now you can consciously reprogram how you want to feel. Well done!