Pinker's book has a whole section on how our notions of etiquette were formed as we transitioned from nobles getting ahead by taking from their neighbor to plea

Pinker's book has a whole section on how our notions of etiquette were formed as we transitioned from nobles getting ahead by taking from their neighbor to pleasing the kink. So it is definitely true that an armed society can be shockingly rude. However what is absolutely true is that a violent society has very strong notions around honor and respect. You have to when failure to respect others is grounds for getting killed, and failure to get others to respect you leaves you liable to get assaulted yourself. That kind of honor and a high murder rate go hand in hand. Whether we are talking medieval nobles or organized crime today.