3 ms·

Telling someone that you are poly and then inviting them to Burning Man is essentially a proposition. Individually, maybe each of those things is not quite a pr

Telling someone that you are poly and then inviting them to Burning Man is essentially a proposition. Individually, maybe each of those things is not quite a proposition, though they are both fairly inappropriate for an interview setting IMO. I have nothing against polyamory (as long as it is not abusive in any way and all participants are on a level playing field) but the fact remains that out of all the "relationship statuses" you could articulate to someone, it's one of the few (?) that can be legitimately interpreted as a proposition, obviously depending on context. In that regard it is fundamentally different from simply telling someone "I am married", which generally implies an exclusive relationship—like it or not, that's the cultural context.

jtmcmc 8y ago
Seeing those things as a proposition I think would be entirely context dependent. I think their appropriateness would also depend heavily on context though they are not things I would mention in an interview. I'm so glad to hear that you don't have anything against polyamory. I have nothing against monogamy as long as it is not abusive in any wH and all participants are on a level playing field!
- caconym_ 8y ago
  Your first paragraph is a vague re-expression of points that I addressed in specific detail. > I'm so glad to hear that you don't have anything against polyamory. I have nothing against monogamy as long as it is not abusive in any wH and all participants are on a level playing field! Snarking at anybody who (explicitly or implicitly) points out that polyamory is not the norm, nor accepted by all people, is a good way to get them to ignore any actual points you may be trying to make, worthwhile or not. It is also a good way to alienate potential allies. These are the practical facts of the matter, regardless of what you think should be true. Proceed at your discretion, of course.

jtmcmc 8y ago

Seeing those things as a proposition I think would be entirely context dependent. I think their appropriateness would also depend heavily on context though they are not things I would mention in an interview. I'm so glad to hear that you don't have anything against polyamory. I have nothing against monogamy as long as it is not abusive in any wH and all participants are on a level playing field!

caconym_ 8y ago
Your first paragraph is a vague re-expression of points that I addressed in specific detail. > I'm so glad to hear that you don't have anything against polyamory. I have nothing against monogamy as long as it is not abusive in any wH and all participants are on a level playing field! Snarking at anybody who (explicitly or implicitly) points out that polyamory is not the norm, nor accepted by all people, is a good way to get them to ignore any actual points you may be trying to make, worthwhile or not. It is also a good way to alienate potential allies. These are the practical facts of the matter, regardless of what you think should be true. Proceed at your discretion, of course.