3 ms·

is mentioning that you are married in an interview in a position of power an offense?

by jtmcmc 8y ago

romwell 8y ago
Mentioning that you are single, and subsequently asking for a sexual favor off-site while the candidate is yet to hear from your employer on the hiring decision most definitely is. In the context of b), you know full well that a) was a form of making sexual advances. By itself, it's ambiguous, but the ambiguity is not there in light of what he did later. In case you missed it, DeVaul has asked the person he interviewed to remove her shirt to let him do a back massage, repeatedly, while she was waiting on the hiring decision.
- jtmcmc 8y ago
  Right. I think that mentioning you are single or poly in an interview can with certain context be inappropriate but not wholesale. Regardless of his mentioning that it seems clear that the unambiguous offense is the second one.
caconym_ 8y ago
Telling someone that you are poly and then inviting them to Burning Man is essentially a proposition. Individually, maybe each of those things is not quite a proposition, though they are both fairly inappropriate for an interview setting IMO. I have nothing against polyamory (as long as it is not abusive in any way and all participants are on a level playing field) but the fact remains that out of all the "relationship statuses" you could articulate to someone, it's one of the few (?) that can be legitimately interpreted as a proposition, obviously depending on context. In that regard it is fundamentally different from simply telling someone "I am married", which generally implies an exclusive relationship—like it or not, that's the cultural context.
- jtmcmc 8y ago
  Seeing those things as a proposition I think would be entirely context dependent. I think their appropriateness would also depend heavily on context though they are not things I would mention in an interview. I'm so glad to hear that you don't have anything against polyamory. I have nothing against monogamy as long as it is not abusive in any wH and all participants are on a level playing field!
  - caconym_ 8y ago
    Your first paragraph is a vague re-expression of points that I addressed in specific detail. > I'm so glad to hear that you don't have anything against polyamory. I have nothing against monogamy as long as it is not abusive in any wH and all participants are on a level playing field! Snarking at anybody who (explicitly or implicitly) points out that polyamory is not the norm, nor accepted by all people, is a good way to get them to ignore any actual points you may be trying to make, worthwhile or not. It is also a good way to alienate potential allies. These are the practical facts of the matter, regardless of what you think should be true. Proceed at your discretion, of course.

is mentioning that you are married in an interview in a position of power an offense?

by jtmcmc 8y ago

is mentioning that you are married in an interview in a position of power an offense?

Mentioning that you are single, and subsequently asking for a sexual favor off-site while the candidate is yet to hear from your employer on the hiring decision most definitely is. In the context of b), you know full well that a) was a form of making sexual advances. By itself, it's ambiguous, but the ambiguity is not there in light of what he did later. In case you missed it, DeVaul has asked the person he interviewed to remove her shirt to let him do a back massage, repeatedly, while she was waiting on the hiring decision.

jtmcmc 8y ago
Right. I think that mentioning you are single or poly in an interview can with certain context be inappropriate but not wholesale. Regardless of his mentioning that it seems clear that the unambiguous offense is the second one.

caconym_ 8y ago

Telling someone that you are poly and then inviting them to Burning Man is essentially a proposition. Individually, maybe each of those things is not quite a proposition, though they are both fairly inappropriate for an interview setting IMO. I have nothing against polyamory (as long as it is not abusive in any way and all participants are on a level playing field) but the fact remains that out of all the "relationship statuses" you could articulate to someone, it's one of the few (?) that can be legitimately interpreted as a proposition, obviously depending on context. In that regard it is fundamentally different from simply telling someone "I am married", which generally implies an exclusive relationship—like it or not, that's the cultural context.

jtmcmc 8y ago
Seeing those things as a proposition I think would be entirely context dependent. I think their appropriateness would also depend heavily on context though they are not things I would mention in an interview. I'm so glad to hear that you don't have anything against polyamory. I have nothing against monogamy as long as it is not abusive in any wH and all participants are on a level playing field!
- caconym_ 8y ago
  Your first paragraph is a vague re-expression of points that I addressed in specific detail. > I'm so glad to hear that you don't have anything against polyamory. I have nothing against monogamy as long as it is not abusive in any wH and all participants are on a level playing field! Snarking at anybody who (explicitly or implicitly) points out that polyamory is not the norm, nor accepted by all people, is a good way to get them to ignore any actual points you may be trying to make, worthwhile or not. It is also a good way to alienate potential allies. These are the practical facts of the matter, regardless of what you think should be true. Proceed at your discretion, of course.