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I hate to break it to you but children being exposed to "unsavory" things outside of parental supervision is part of growing up. It's called street smarts. Eve

I hate to break it to you but children being exposed to "unsavory" things outside of parental supervision is part of growing up. It's called street smarts. Ever watch watch south park? Then you know who Kenny is and how dysfunctional his family is. Every kid meets a Kenny in their lifetime. They're the kid who knows where his parents porn stash is kept and by 13 is raiding their parents booze and drug stash. He's the kid whose house you go to watch R films and look at hustler magazines (I'm dating myself here). They also most likely had a hacked cable box with the playboy channel. In their bedroom. Of course your parents told you to stay away "from that boy". But after school you tell your parents you're "going to John's house to study" but instead you and a few other friends meet up at "Kenny's" place ;-). Though, It's not all porn and bad things. It's just a great place to hang out and play ball or nintendo or whatever because no one is telling you to study or do homework. It's pure rebellious freedom and it's exciting. You can't shield your kids forever. And the more you shield them the worse prepared they are for the harsh realities of the world. The best approach is to educate your kids of dangers and and hope for the best. Teach them about sex, drugs, alcohol, smoking, violence, abuse, behavioral issues, etc. Make sure they know what can be potentially harmful. My mother and father did a good job of that so I knew when to hang back and say "no thanks". I stayed away from drinking and drushguse my who adolescent life.

jerf 8y ago
So I'm broadly sympathetic to that point of view, but I think you also have to account for the changes in the world since you or I grew up. I didn't grow up in a world where dozens of PhDs were using massive targeted AI computations to figure out how to manipulate me. I didn't have online Skinner boxes backed by, again, a horde of PhDs or equivalents with every motivation to separate me from my money, time, and attention. You need to present your children with some challenges and help them overcome it, but you can't put them in a cage match with the entire modern advertising industry, or expect them to figure out YouTube and the rather exploitative practices and dodgy videos kids can dig up, all on their own at the age of 5 either. I didn't grow up in a world of social media, and all the pathologies that come with it, many of which are probably much worse for developing minds than when I finally had a chance to get into it. (And, in fact, I've never had a Facebook account, and my Twitter account was created just for a couple of stupid sites that used it for auth; it's unused by me. The adult me rejected those sites from the get-go.) I did grow up with some smart people trying to manipulate me in between cartoon breaks. (Personally I tended not to watch the most exploitative "cartoons that are just ads for toys" sorts myself, but YMMV. It wasn't my own brilliance, though, just my personal taste.) But it was very amorphous and poorly targeted at me personally. There's no AI chewing over my video preferences and figuring out what I'm most vulnerable to. It made for much better practice in becoming a bit cynical about such things. I also grew up in a world of video games, but again, the feedback loop was too big and amorphous to manipulate me very effectively. It was still potentially addicting, no question, but much, much less so than a modern mobile gacha game or something. I'm taking a staggered approach myself. I know they have to learn themselves. I'm literally budgeting for them to buy a few things of their own free will, and then be disappointed in the result. It's part of life, and like many things, better experienced young while it still doesn't really matter. But I'm also moderating the rate at which this stuff comes in to them, because I'm not even particularly convinced it was a fair fight in the 1980s when I grew up, and it's not even close today.
mrhappyunhappy 8y ago
Show them a patient on dialysis machine and say “this will be you if you if you think I’m bsing you”
mantas 8y ago
On top of that, kids develop differently at different ages. Pre-school is extremely important as it's foundation building time. Get the, addicted to tech from day 1 and they'll have lots of issues later on. But if they learn the ropes in a healthy way, they'll have a good foundation once they meet "Kenny" later on.

jerf 8y ago

So I'm broadly sympathetic to that point of view, but I think you also have to account for the changes in the world since you or I grew up. I didn't grow up in a world where dozens of PhDs were using massive targeted AI computations to figure out how to manipulate me. I didn't have online Skinner boxes backed by, again, a horde of PhDs or equivalents with every motivation to separate me from my money, time, and attention. You need to present your children with some challenges and help them overcome it, but you can't put them in a cage match with the entire modern advertising industry, or expect them to figure out YouTube and the rather exploitative practices and dodgy videos kids can dig up, all on their own at the age of 5 either. I didn't grow up in a world of social media, and all the pathologies that come with it, many of which are probably much worse for developing minds than when I finally had a chance to get into it. (And, in fact, I've never had a Facebook account, and my Twitter account was created just for a couple of stupid sites that used it for auth; it's unused by me. The adult me rejected those sites from the get-go.) I did grow up with some smart people trying to manipulate me in between cartoon breaks. (Personally I tended not to watch the most exploitative "cartoons that are just ads for toys" sorts myself, but YMMV. It wasn't my own brilliance, though, just my personal taste.) But it was very amorphous and poorly targeted at me personally. There's no AI chewing over my video preferences and figuring out what I'm most vulnerable to. It made for much better practice in becoming a bit cynical about such things. I also grew up in a world of video games, but again, the feedback loop was too big and amorphous to manipulate me very effectively. It was still potentially addicting, no question, but much, much less so than a modern mobile gacha game or something. I'm taking a staggered approach myself. I know they have to learn themselves. I'm literally budgeting for them to buy a few things of their own free will, and then be disappointed in the result. It's part of life, and like many things, better experienced young while it still doesn't really matter. But I'm also moderating the rate at which this stuff comes in to them, because I'm not even particularly convinced it was a fair fight in the 1980s when I grew up, and it's not even close today.

mrhappyunhappy 8y ago

Show them a patient on dialysis machine and say “this will be you if you if you think I’m bsing you”

mantas 8y ago

On top of that, kids develop differently at different ages. Pre-school is extremely important as it's foundation building time. Get the, addicted to tech from day 1 and they'll have lots of issues later on. But if they learn the ropes in a healthy way, they'll have a good foundation once they meet "Kenny" later on.