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This is getting very hypothetical here, but I'll be glad to indulge your question. I'm unsure at this stage in my life whether I'll ever have the opportunity to

This is getting very hypothetical here, but I'll be glad to indulge your question. I'm unsure at this stage in my life whether I'll ever have the opportunity to have children of my own, but I would certainly like to. As I've spent some time in the foster care system, and seeing as it ended rather disastrously with me spending a good chunk of my HS years homeless, I'd very much like to get involved in being a foster parent. I'd certainly like to give my child, whether biological or adopted, many of the things that I didn't have growing up. First and foremost would be love, and safety, and the educational opportunities I didn't have. Travel would be the first of things I may categorize as "luxuries" that I'd like to gift. As to a specific number, my gut feeling tells me $28K seems rather excessive. That's more money annually than I and most of my friends made in total yearly wages for a good chunk of our adult lives, and we all worked rather dutifully. I'm not entirely convinced that the creation of art requires such sums. And $28k could certainly help a lot of other children in need. In any case, I'd like to think one of the most satisfying aspects of parenting is watching a child transform into an adult, I'm unsure whether a perpetual yearly stipend equal to the wages of large segments of this country is the best method to achieve that goal. But assuming my child was the recipient of such privilege, I'd hope I would have taught them the humility to understand just how privileged they were, and in general refrain from criticism based on generalities.

xahrepap 8y ago
> I'd very much like to get involved in being a foster parent. (Sorry to hijack) As a former foster parent, and now an adoptive parent, and a hopeful future foster parent: I strongly encourage anyone who is able to get involved to do so. There are so many kids who need the help only foster parents can give. There will never be a "perfect" time, trust me. But it makes me so sad to hear stories like yours about kids who are homeless :(
roymurdock 8y ago
Thanks for responding. I come from a more privileged background with a lot of family support, so I can see the good (stability and guidance allows you to learn, socialize, grow, stay out of the death spiral of the penal/judicial system) and bad (overdependence on parents, growing up in a bubble, not learning lessons in a visceral/hard way that will stick with you, mistaking luck and hard work) from where I've come from. I appreciate you sharing your personal perspective, and I agree. I wouldn't want to provide any monetary support for my children post university (unless it is more of a business transaction with stipulations on what it can be spent on/payback period), but would want to provide stability and travel/educational experiences growing up, and be there when shit happens as it usually does Per your privilege comment, travel has been the most helpful for me to get outside of my bubble, so I think you hit the nail on the head. It's like the fish swimming in water parable: There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, "Morning, boys, how's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, "What the hell is water?" http://bulletin-archive.kenyon.edu/x4280.html http://bulletin-archive.kenyon.edu/x4280.html
- Inconel 8y ago
  I apologize for not acknowledging your post earlier, I know it's not exactly within HN etiquette, but I just wanted to say thanks for such a thoughtful response.

xahrepap 8y ago

> I'd very much like to get involved in being a foster parent. (Sorry to hijack) As a former foster parent, and now an adoptive parent, and a hopeful future foster parent: I strongly encourage anyone who is able to get involved to do so. There are so many kids who need the help only foster parents can give. There will never be a "perfect" time, trust me. But it makes me so sad to hear stories like yours about kids who are homeless :(

roymurdock 8y ago

Thanks for responding. I come from a more privileged background with a lot of family support, so I can see the good (stability and guidance allows you to learn, socialize, grow, stay out of the death spiral of the penal/judicial system) and bad (overdependence on parents, growing up in a bubble, not learning lessons in a visceral/hard way that will stick with you, mistaking luck and hard work) from where I've come from. I appreciate you sharing your personal perspective, and I agree. I wouldn't want to provide any monetary support for my children post university (unless it is more of a business transaction with stipulations on what it can be spent on/payback period), but would want to provide stability and travel/educational experiences growing up, and be there when shit happens as it usually does Per your privilege comment, travel has been the most helpful for me to get outside of my bubble, so I think you hit the nail on the head. It's like the fish swimming in water parable: There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, "Morning, boys, how's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, "What the hell is water?" http://bulletin-archive.kenyon.edu/x4280.html http://bulletin-archive.kenyon.edu/x4280.html

Inconel 8y ago
I apologize for not acknowledging your post earlier, I know it's not exactly within HN etiquette, but I just wanted to say thanks for such a thoughtful response.