4 ms·

> First, NPD in women can be confused with Asperger syndrome. Can you expand on this or provide some more reading for me? I believe my mother has NPD and have,

by mxiia 8y ago

> First, NPD in women can be confused with Asperger syndrome. Can you expand on this or provide some more reading for me? I believe my mother has NPD and have, on occasion, sworn she was on the spectrum as well.

scarecrowbob 8y ago
I say this as a person who has been abused by a string of relationships with folks who almost certainly have some variation of NPD, not as a clinician. So take this with a big 'ol grain of salt. A lot of the epistemological problems for people who are pathologically narcissistic come from understanding the difference between how they see things and how other people see things. Part of the pathology is that they have a filter set up to protect a fragile image of themselves, and so they often don't understand why other people are acting in some way, specifically when other people's actions are only explicable in ways that contradict the fragile image. They aren't able to take in information that would allow them to modify their behavior because even mild criticism will harm their understanding of themselves, and since that filter is strong they have a hard time knowing the difference between useful criticisms and all the other reasons people say mean or hurtful things to them. This disconnection appears similarly to other pathologies where people have issues identifying other peoples' motivations. For instance, most people have a healthy skepticism of other people's negative reactions: even though other people might think I'm a jerk for, say, constantly name dropping some person some behavior, I will probably keep doing it for a bit. But at some point, I will (hopefully) notice the trend in negative reactions and either rework the name dropping habit so that other people find it interesting/relevant or understand that it's something that I should change about myself. But if I have such a strong filter against criticism of my identity that literally anything could harm that identity, I might not pick up on social cues that would tell me I need to alter my behavior. I don't know a lot about asperger syndrome, so this is totally my lay-person's interpretation, but basically they seem similar because they both involve dysfunctions with how people parse other peoples' behavior.
- DanBC 8y ago
  For fucks sake.
  - dboat 8y ago
    Could you elaborate?
  - scarecrowbob 8y ago
    Well shit duder, can you help me understand where my big misunderstandings are? Or am I just so dumb and off base that there is no helping me and I should just go fuck off and die?

by mxiia 8y ago

scarecrowbob 8y ago

I say this as a person who has been abused by a string of relationships with folks who almost certainly have some variation of NPD, not as a clinician. So take this with a big 'ol grain of salt. A lot of the epistemological problems for people who are pathologically narcissistic come from understanding the difference between how they see things and how other people see things. Part of the pathology is that they have a filter set up to protect a fragile image of themselves, and so they often don't understand why other people are acting in some way, specifically when other people's actions are only explicable in ways that contradict the fragile image. They aren't able to take in information that would allow them to modify their behavior because even mild criticism will harm their understanding of themselves, and since that filter is strong they have a hard time knowing the difference between useful criticisms and all the other reasons people say mean or hurtful things to them. This disconnection appears similarly to other pathologies where people have issues identifying other peoples' motivations. For instance, most people have a healthy skepticism of other people's negative reactions: even though other people might think I'm a jerk for, say, constantly name dropping some person some behavior, I will probably keep doing it for a bit. But at some point, I will (hopefully) notice the trend in negative reactions and either rework the name dropping habit so that other people find it interesting/relevant or understand that it's something that I should change about myself. But if I have such a strong filter against criticism of my identity that literally anything could harm that identity, I might not pick up on social cues that would tell me I need to alter my behavior. I don't know a lot about asperger syndrome, so this is totally my lay-person's interpretation, but basically they seem similar because they both involve dysfunctions with how people parse other peoples' behavior.

DanBC 8y ago
For fucks sake.
- dboat 8y ago
  Could you elaborate?
- scarecrowbob 8y ago
  Well shit duder, can you help me understand where my big misunderstandings are? Or am I just so dumb and off base that there is no helping me and I should just go fuck off and die?