5 ms·

By no means is this a universal truism, but in general if you think you have a Cluster B personality disorder, you probably don’t. If you think you’re the smart

by bcOpus 8y ago

By no means is this a universal truism, but in general if you think you have a Cluster B personality disorder, you probably don’t. If you think you’re the smartest, best person in the world and other people are inferior and should know it... then you might.

wellpast 8y ago
What if I think I'm approximately the 100th smartest person in the world? But only when it comes to, say, J2EE? Like I'm the 100th smartest person at J2EE in the world, and everyone else besides the approximately 100 above me are J2EE-inferior. Am I a Narcissist? A J2EE-Narcissist?
- wellpast 8y ago
  Side note: I've never used J2EE. Other than as an example. As in just now, above there.
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
- ModernMech 8y ago
  A true narcissist thinks they're better than everyone at everything. Trump is the best example of a narcissist I've ever seen. For example: "I know more about renewables than any human being on Earth." "I understand social media. I understand the power of Twitter. I understand the power of Facebook maybe better than almost anybody" "Nobody knows more about debt. I'm like the king. I love debt." "I think nobody knows more about taxes than I do, maybe in the history of the world. Nobody knows more about taxes. "Nobody knows banking better than I do" "I understand money better than anybody." "I think nobody knows the system better than I do." "I know more about contributions than anybody." "Nobody knows politicians better than Donald Trump." "Nobody knows more about trade than me." "Nobody knows jobs like I do! Don’t let them sell you out!" "Nobody in the history of this country has ever known so much about infrastructure as Donald Trump." "There's nobody bigger or better at the military than I am." "I know more about ISIS than the generals do. Believe me." "There is nobody who understands the horror of nuclear more than me." "Because nobody knows the system better than me. I know the H1B. I know the H2B. Nobody knows it better than me." "I’m very highly educated. I know words; I have the best words." "No one has more respect for women than me." "I have the best temperament or certainly one of the best temperaments of anybody that’s ever run for the office of president. Ever." "Nobody reads the Bible more than me." "I’m the most successful person ever to run for the presidency, by far. Nobody’s ever been more successful than me." Tired yet? Because I could go on all day with these. That's what it's like to be an actual narcissist. If that's not like you, you're probably not a narcissist.
  - corey_moncure 8y ago
    Is it possible he's just saying things that people want to hear, things that lead to popularity and success? How do we know he sincerely believes these lines as he's saying them?
    - ModernMech 8y ago
      The way I know he actually believes these things is because this is how actual narcissists I know behave. So I have a point of comparison. I recognize the patterns, which extend past just these statements, including: gaslighting, blame shifting, victim blaming, self victimization, inability to accept any blame whatsoever, the inability to admit he's wrong, etc. This goes faaaaar beyond the typical pandering you get with politicians. It's pathological. Look at it this way, even politicians who pander are able to exhibit some semblance of humility and self awareness. You'll be able to find exactly 0 instances from Trump admitting he's wrong about anything. In fact, he once said (to Jimmy Fallon) that he has never had to apologize because he's never done anything wrong.
    - skedaddle 8y ago
      It's narcissism just the same. In fact, that "project a grandiose image that leads to popularity and success" thing is pretty much the crux of it.
- torpidor 8y ago
  Narcissism is more of a spectrum of behavior than a bistable formalism, but it is mostly characterized by feeling superior in general (not only in J2EE) and that superiority not based on actually being better. Keep in mind that most deluded people do not recognize their delusion so the latter is less useful as a self-diagnostic criteria. Here's an example, my city has a water-related emergency and so the water system is temporarily broken. Local coffee shops have closed because it's too difficult to access suitable water. Meanwhile I am drinking coffee right now, and feeling quite smug that as a rank amateur I can do what Those Who Had One Job cannot. I frequently have this experience where I feel like I can do things better than other people. This is a giant red flag for narcissism. If you dig into it though, I can make coffee because I have a weeks worth of supplies on hand because I had a rough childhood and certain things stay with you. I have two ISPs in case one goes down (and actually chose where I live for that reason), I have at least four modes of transit to get most places, I just chronically overplan for everything in life all the time. So when something goes wrong I will have two or three solutions ready to go while a normal person is trying to stop panicking. That is a symptom of something, namely my generalized anxiety of having to rely on other people. But whereas a narcissist will berate a new cashier for not knowing how the POS system works, I surreptitiously memorized the right buttons from the last time I was here, help them get through the transaction as quickly as possible and say that I used to work here so they don't feel too bad.

by bcOpus 8y ago

wellpast 8y ago

What if I think I'm approximately the 100th smartest person in the world? But only when it comes to, say, J2EE? Like I'm the 100th smartest person at J2EE in the world, and everyone else besides the approximately 100 above me are J2EE-inferior. Am I a Narcissist? A J2EE-Narcissist?

wellpast 8y ago
Side note: I've never used J2EE. Other than as an example. As in just now, above there.
deleted 8y ago
[deleted]
ModernMech 8y ago
A true narcissist thinks they're better than everyone at everything. Trump is the best example of a narcissist I've ever seen. For example: "I know more about renewables than any human being on Earth." "I understand social media. I understand the power of Twitter. I understand the power of Facebook maybe better than almost anybody" "Nobody knows more about debt. I'm like the king. I love debt." "I think nobody knows more about taxes than I do, maybe in the history of the world. Nobody knows more about taxes. "Nobody knows banking better than I do" "I understand money better than anybody." "I think nobody knows the system better than I do." "I know more about contributions than anybody." "Nobody knows politicians better than Donald Trump." "Nobody knows more about trade than me." "Nobody knows jobs like I do! Don’t let them sell you out!" "Nobody in the history of this country has ever known so much about infrastructure as Donald Trump." "There's nobody bigger or better at the military than I am." "I know more about ISIS than the generals do. Believe me." "There is nobody who understands the horror of nuclear more than me." "Because nobody knows the system better than me. I know the H1B. I know the H2B. Nobody knows it better than me." "I’m very highly educated. I know words; I have the best words." "No one has more respect for women than me." "I have the best temperament or certainly one of the best temperaments of anybody that’s ever run for the office of president. Ever." "Nobody reads the Bible more than me." "I’m the most successful person ever to run for the presidency, by far. Nobody’s ever been more successful than me." Tired yet? Because I could go on all day with these. That's what it's like to be an actual narcissist. If that's not like you, you're probably not a narcissist.
- corey_moncure 8y ago
  Is it possible he's just saying things that people want to hear, things that lead to popularity and success? How do we know he sincerely believes these lines as he's saying them?
  - ModernMech 8y ago
    The way I know he actually believes these things is because this is how actual narcissists I know behave. So I have a point of comparison. I recognize the patterns, which extend past just these statements, including: gaslighting, blame shifting, victim blaming, self victimization, inability to accept any blame whatsoever, the inability to admit he's wrong, etc. This goes faaaaar beyond the typical pandering you get with politicians. It's pathological. Look at it this way, even politicians who pander are able to exhibit some semblance of humility and self awareness. You'll be able to find exactly 0 instances from Trump admitting he's wrong about anything. In fact, he once said (to Jimmy Fallon) that he has never had to apologize because he's never done anything wrong.
  - skedaddle 8y ago
    It's narcissism just the same. In fact, that "project a grandiose image that leads to popularity and success" thing is pretty much the crux of it.
torpidor 8y ago
Narcissism is more of a spectrum of behavior than a bistable formalism, but it is mostly characterized by feeling superior in general (not only in J2EE) and that superiority not based on actually being better. Keep in mind that most deluded people do not recognize their delusion so the latter is less useful as a self-diagnostic criteria. Here's an example, my city has a water-related emergency and so the water system is temporarily broken. Local coffee shops have closed because it's too difficult to access suitable water. Meanwhile I am drinking coffee right now, and feeling quite smug that as a rank amateur I can do what Those Who Had One Job cannot. I frequently have this experience where I feel like I can do things better than other people. This is a giant red flag for narcissism. If you dig into it though, I can make coffee because I have a weeks worth of supplies on hand because I had a rough childhood and certain things stay with you. I have two ISPs in case one goes down (and actually chose where I live for that reason), I have at least four modes of transit to get most places, I just chronically overplan for everything in life all the time. So when something goes wrong I will have two or three solutions ready to go while a normal person is trying to stop panicking. That is a symptom of something, namely my generalized anxiety of having to rely on other people. But whereas a narcissist will berate a new cashier for not knowing how the POS system works, I surreptitiously memorized the right buttons from the last time I was here, help them get through the transaction as quickly as possible and say that I used to work here so they don't feel too bad.