3 ms·

This exact snippet could both be part of a SSC (safe, sane and consensual) relationship, or sexual harassment, possibly even sexual exploitation. Which it is, d

This exact snippet could both be part of a SSC (safe, sane and consensual) relationship, or sexual harassment, possibly even sexual exploitation. Which it is, depends on the context; removing or implying context makes it very easy to have one appear as the other.

samstave 8y ago
Exactly. And people would get surprised to know just how many "sexually progressive" (I'm using that term because I don't know a better one) people there are in silicon valley. I know people who have full BDSM dungeons in their homes, go to all sorts of outrageous parties and have some of the craziest stories. SV in general has every type of person. I recall some contractors commenting on a multi-million dollar "pleasure dungeon" they built into a huge mansion in Los Altos Hills.... So, for some this can be SSC, for other context it can be far worse. One thing is for sure, whatever the context, these situations typically don't turn out good when they get the public eye.
- zbentley 8y ago
  > these situations typically don't turn out good when they get the public eye. And you think the ones that don't have turned out better?
  - samstave 8y ago
    Jeasus. Yeah thats exactly what I meant. WTF?
    - natch 8y ago
      Better for the abuser, you mean?
      - blattimwind 8y ago
        I'm not quite understanding what you are saying. Do you mean kink in general is abusive; do you mean workplace relationships are abusive or are you relating to this specific case?
        natch 8y ago
        I was asking samstave. It's complicated... Of course kink in general is not abusive. But often when otherwise private things are exposed publicly, abuse or alleged abuse is the reason for the exposure. It's a general thing, but it's also related to the specific case where some presumably non-workplace relationship details came out and there was apparent (not proven) arguable abuse of financial privilege which shows that, if true, this is not necessarily a wonderful person that I would want as a leader in my company. And the information coming out is not great for the abuser. In this specific case we can say the alleged abuser, if that helps.
        samstave 8y ago
        I wouldnt say they are better for anyone - I was saying that regardless of the consent or context - when private conversations of this nature come to light - its never good. Assume that a couple were consenting in owner/slave BDSM play and their dialogue were recorded and read by those who are not even previously aware that such relationships occur, no matter what these types of conversations will hit ears that were not ready/interested/amenable to hearing them, and judgements will be made. That was my only point.
        natch 8y ago
        Fair point.

samstave 8y ago

Exactly. And people would get surprised to know just how many "sexually progressive" (I'm using that term because I don't know a better one) people there are in silicon valley. I know people who have full BDSM dungeons in their homes, go to all sorts of outrageous parties and have some of the craziest stories. SV in general has every type of person. I recall some contractors commenting on a multi-million dollar "pleasure dungeon" they built into a huge mansion in Los Altos Hills.... So, for some this can be SSC, for other context it can be far worse. One thing is for sure, whatever the context, these situations typically don't turn out good when they get the public eye.

zbentley 8y ago
> these situations typically don't turn out good when they get the public eye. And you think the ones that don't have turned out better?
- samstave 8y ago
  Jeasus. Yeah thats exactly what I meant. WTF?
  - natch 8y ago
    Better for the abuser, you mean?
    - blattimwind 8y ago
      I'm not quite understanding what you are saying. Do you mean kink in general is abusive; do you mean workplace relationships are abusive or are you relating to this specific case?
      - natch 8y ago
        I was asking samstave. It's complicated... Of course kink in general is not abusive. But often when otherwise private things are exposed publicly, abuse or alleged abuse is the reason for the exposure. It's a general thing, but it's also related to the specific case where some presumably non-workplace relationship details came out and there was apparent (not proven) arguable abuse of financial privilege which shows that, if true, this is not necessarily a wonderful person that I would want as a leader in my company. And the information coming out is not great for the abuser. In this specific case we can say the alleged abuser, if that helps.
        samstave 8y ago
        I wouldnt say they are better for anyone - I was saying that regardless of the consent or context - when private conversations of this nature come to light - its never good. Assume that a couple were consenting in owner/slave BDSM play and their dialogue were recorded and read by those who are not even previously aware that such relationships occur, no matter what these types of conversations will hit ears that were not ready/interested/amenable to hearing them, and judgements will be made. That was my only point.
        natch 8y ago
        Fair point.