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So melancholy is a shameful indulgence, and happiness is discipline and duty? Is it somehow better to those who struggle tragically if I keep a smile on my face

So melancholy is a shameful indulgence, and happiness is discipline and duty? Is it somehow better to those who struggle tragically if I keep a smile on my face at all times? My natural reaction upon thinking of them is to do the opposite. I think there is something sinister about recommending material indulgence as a means of overcoming the sin of "emotional" indulgence, especially if those who suffer from want are used as justification. Is all trauma in rich society non-existent? Does death no longer exist, or loneliness, or guilt, or regret, or uncertainty, or evil, or unrequited love, or feeling trapped, or inadequacy, or betrayal, or aging, or health issues, or any other existential problem? Why is art throughout history rife with these issues if they are abnormal elements of the human experience? I agree that some can overly prioritize negativity or cynicism, but I think this phenomenon is just a contrarian response to the dominant emotional valuation. I am tempted into it whenever someone insists that I must be happy, or talks down about angst as if they were not themselves human. It's offensive to the spirit and sense of honesty, integrity, and self. Better to let feelings flow naturally. I too like feeling happy, if it's genuine. As for the "perfect partner", I either feel a romantic pull towards someone, or I don't. Every time I see people fake it for the sake of looking normal, it ends in disaster.

notahacker 16y ago
I think you're overanalysing my comments; I certainly never said anything about duty to be happy or the absence of trauma in wealthy society. My point was simply that the less-well-off have considerably more pressure not to react emotionally to [relatively minor] adverse circumstances and considerably less time for introspection and musing over what could have been, if only. Possibly their everyday crises also better-calibrate their sense of perspective (or if you prefer, densensitize them). I'm not convinced that rich society is dominated by the relentless pressure to be happy so much as a focus on emotional state, whether that's trying outdo each other in terms of success or agonising over failings many would consider trivial, because the meeting of our material needs can be taken for granted and none of our social relationships are based on need. (The problem with the search "perfect partner" is not so much the romantic pull at the beginning as the worry that the level of romantic bliss is not what it once was, or could be, or the grass might be greener on the other side.)

notahacker 16y ago

I think you're overanalysing my comments; I certainly never said anything about duty to be happy or the absence of trauma in wealthy society. My point was simply that the less-well-off have considerably more pressure not to react emotionally to [relatively minor] adverse circumstances and considerably less time for introspection and musing over what could have been, if only. Possibly their everyday crises also better-calibrate their sense of perspective (or if you prefer, densensitize them). I'm not convinced that rich society is dominated by the relentless pressure to be happy so much as a focus on emotional state, whether that's trying outdo each other in terms of success or agonising over failings many would consider trivial, because the meeting of our material needs can be taken for granted and none of our social relationships are based on need. (The problem with the search "perfect partner" is not so much the romantic pull at the beginning as the worry that the level of romantic bliss is not what it once was, or could be, or the grass might be greener on the other side.)