4 ms·

Felon here. Like the article describes, my father was arrested and jailed, and his father before him. Many of my family have spent time in prison. When I turned

Felon here. Like the article describes, my father was arrested and jailed, and his father before him. Many of my family have spent time in prison. When I turned 18, I also shared the same experience. Less than a year in min security prison. Now I'm 35, moved away from my troubled youth, and have made millions of dollars building startups. A few points: - To this day, I am terrified to speak to police or any authority figures. I sweat every time I pass through passport control when my wife and I go to Europe every summer. - I can't break my "guarded" way of thinking, that everyone is out to get me, that I need to take what I can when I have the chance because the chance won't come around again. I am never relaxed. - I have a 4 year old and not a day goes by that I don't spend working with him to provide things I never had. The fact that I can afford to send him to piano lessons or that we can afford to live in the "rich" part of town makes me emotional. - I lost every part of my childhood. My parents are ghosts and my friends from then are long sense forgotten. Some people go back to their home town to feel nostalgic, but all I do is feel anger. I am angry every day. - Many people are afraid to take risks for their careers, but as an ex-convict who spent over a year as a homeless person, I feel no fear. Moving across the country when I have no money, sleeping at my desk to launch a product due the next day, giving a speech in front of 1000 people, or aggressively gunning for a better company is nothing compared to begging someone for their half eaten sandwich. That's true fear. Even the ones who escape a criminal family never really escape.

notafelonthrow 8y ago
My father is a felon, and his father before him, and most of my uncles (one is even a convicted murderer). I didn't follow in their footsteps -- never even gotten so much as a speeding ticket. The funny thing is I can completely relate. I had to cut off my father's family from my life to escape; all police make me nervous as I think they will arrest me; every interaction I have with non-best-of-friends is "fuck you, I'm getting mine". I'm not sure how many generations it takes to escape the mentality, but I'm hoping my sons aren't the same way.
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
madeuptempacct 8y ago
The interesting thing about felons is that a lot of them start businesses since they can't really have a normal job.
- mtnGoat 8y ago
  that really depends on the state. I am a felon and I live in Washington State, it really doesn't effect me much at all. When I lived in California, same thing, it never came up and didn't seem to matter. Texas on the other hand really works hard to keep you down once youve made a mistake... it was hard to find work, housing, etc.
nickthemagicman 8y ago
Just want to say. My parents abandoned me at a young age and I feel a lot of the same feelings. Congrats on your success and best of luck to you in the future.
clamprecht 8y ago
Maybe I'm the exception then - I'm probably the first person in my family to get in trouble (felon, did 5 years). What you say about taking risks is so true. Once you've taken big risks, the thought of these relatively small risks is a joke. Congrats on beating the system.
blackgirldev 8y ago
I am a black person and I have similar feelings even though I grew up middle class and privileged. I am very afraid of police, become anxious in any federal building, and I am nervous at airports and their security setups. My brother and I were forced to grow up early, given we could be accosted by police at any time for any reason. The first time I had a rear headlight out and was stopped by the police, I was put in handcuffs and placed in the back seat of the police car. There was absolutely no reason whatsoever for this precaution. When I go to my hometown, I go back to feelings of isolation and loneliness, and where I was never invited to parties, and spent entire summers alone at the library.
nostromo 8y ago
It wouldn't surprise me if entrepreneurs and criminals have some inheritable traits in common -- specifically risk tolerance. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0004362 https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal...
- bfuller 8y ago
  I come from a line of smugglers and bootleggers. Luckily I did not choose a life of crime, but I do think being raised in my family and possibly a genetic component helps with risk tolerance.
hi41 8y ago
Facinating story. How did you learn programming?
deleted 8y ago
[deleted]
agumonkey 8y ago
How much do you think your troubles come from bad cultural influence from family, and how much due to genetic legacy ? Open and serious question. Had you been raised somewhere else, do you think you'd still be attracted to bad/illegal/criminal acts (in the general sense) ? It's funny someone with a long legal history still sweat near authority. Personal anecdote, I lifted some school furnitures (laughably sad project) with a friend and got busted. Couldn't get into any store that had detectors without going full paranoia (what if someone drops an item in my pocket before I leave..). Lasted 3 years.

notafelonthrow 8y ago

My father is a felon, and his father before him, and most of my uncles (one is even a convicted murderer). I didn't follow in their footsteps -- never even gotten so much as a speeding ticket. The funny thing is I can completely relate. I had to cut off my father's family from my life to escape; all police make me nervous as I think they will arrest me; every interaction I have with non-best-of-friends is "fuck you, I'm getting mine". I'm not sure how many generations it takes to escape the mentality, but I'm hoping my sons aren't the same way.

deleted 8y ago
[deleted]

madeuptempacct 8y ago

The interesting thing about felons is that a lot of them start businesses since they can't really have a normal job.

mtnGoat 8y ago
that really depends on the state. I am a felon and I live in Washington State, it really doesn't effect me much at all. When I lived in California, same thing, it never came up and didn't seem to matter. Texas on the other hand really works hard to keep you down once youve made a mistake... it was hard to find work, housing, etc.

nickthemagicman 8y ago

Just want to say. My parents abandoned me at a young age and I feel a lot of the same feelings. Congrats on your success and best of luck to you in the future.

clamprecht 8y ago

Maybe I'm the exception then - I'm probably the first person in my family to get in trouble (felon, did 5 years). What you say about taking risks is so true. Once you've taken big risks, the thought of these relatively small risks is a joke. Congrats on beating the system.

blackgirldev 8y ago

I am a black person and I have similar feelings even though I grew up middle class and privileged. I am very afraid of police, become anxious in any federal building, and I am nervous at airports and their security setups. My brother and I were forced to grow up early, given we could be accosted by police at any time for any reason. The first time I had a rear headlight out and was stopped by the police, I was put in handcuffs and placed in the back seat of the police car. There was absolutely no reason whatsoever for this precaution. When I go to my hometown, I go back to feelings of isolation and loneliness, and where I was never invited to parties, and spent entire summers alone at the library.

nostromo 8y ago

It wouldn't surprise me if entrepreneurs and criminals have some inheritable traits in common -- specifically risk tolerance. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0004362 https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal...

bfuller 8y ago
I come from a line of smugglers and bootleggers. Luckily I did not choose a life of crime, but I do think being raised in my family and possibly a genetic component helps with risk tolerance.

hi41 8y ago

Facinating story. How did you learn programming?

deleted 8y ago

[deleted]

agumonkey 8y ago

How much do you think your troubles come from bad cultural influence from family, and how much due to genetic legacy ? Open and serious question. Had you been raised somewhere else, do you think you'd still be attracted to bad/illegal/criminal acts (in the general sense) ? It's funny someone with a long legal history still sweat near authority. Personal anecdote, I lifted some school furnitures (laughably sad project) with a friend and got busted. Couldn't get into any store that had detectors without going full paranoia (what if someone drops an item in my pocket before I leave..). Lasted 3 years.