4 ms·

I've noticed a pattern: the people that look "on point" are often clueless, and the ones that look muddled are often heading in the right direction. It has take

I've noticed a pattern: the people that look "on point" are often clueless, and the ones that look muddled are often heading in the right direction. It has taken twenty years, and several careers, for me to work this out though. Try to find someone you can talk to, and work with, that doesn't make you feel stupid. You seem to be focusing too much on the "I": it makes a huge difference the relationships you form. Huge. This could be difficult for you, but here's another idea: be vulnerable. Let people know what's going on with you, that you're afraid and need a leg-up. Being vulnerable in this way is actually a sign of great strength. Your post here on HN is already a step in this direction.

hnarn 8y ago
>I've noticed a pattern: the people that look "on point" are often clueless, and the ones that look muddled are often heading in the right direction. It's because it has nothing to do with intelligence, and everything to do with presentation. This is why some people work in sales, and some people work in engineering. If someone that has no clue keeps insisting they do understand, at some point you'll start doubting yourself instead. Richard Feynman, who is without much debate one of the most important physicists of all time, said something about asking "dumb" questions, and how people often misunderstood why he was asking the things he was asking. He was trying to look at something from different angles, but if you can't look beyond the question, you might think "why is this person asking me something a child would ask". They're not stupid, they're trying to initiate an exploration of ideas. In my opinion, when you ask a "dumb" question to someone who is more concerned with looking smart and presenting well, their first reaction will be one of confusion, or even mockery. When you ask a truly intelligent person a "dumb" question, they will humor you, and start looking at the problem from different angles, usually trying to involve you in the process. Smart people love to discuss things, "presentable" people hate it, because for them it's just one long continuous risk of being "exposed". Smart people do not fear being exposed, because they know very well what they don't know, which is one of the most common traits among intelligent people, and ironically is why intelligent people feel dumb. One of the most important lessons in my professional life is perhaps similar to yours, and that is that it's easy to recognize true intelligence when you encounter it. Truly intelligent people are normally humble, curious and intense. When you encounter people that are arrogant, narrow-minded and lazy, you're not the one in the wrong. They are just hiding their insecurity. So to the point of the post, what should you do in a situation like this? If you're extremely introverted and not used to working in teams, that is a huge hurdle, because that is how human beings normally seek assurance: through their peers. So if I could give only one general advice here, it would be: work on your people skills. Try to pair up with colleagues, discuss their work, your own work, and be humble. Be open about your doubts, and you'll quickly realize that there is no line of business more full of people with impostor syndrome than IT.
- antonios 8y ago
  Thank you for this comment. Some golden observations there.
- _shadi 8y ago
  Thank you for putting this in words, I had thought about how people react to questions and how some would just dismiss them while others will explore and try to know more about your thought process but never could put it in words. the first paragraph in your post reminds me of the Dunning-Kruger effect: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
jondubois 8y ago
So true. Reality is very complex and usually it's a very fine line between the best approach and the second best approach; there are a lot of factors to consider. If someone is overly confident about going in a particular direction, it often means that they haven't thought about it enough. That said there is a big difference between being confident in your abilities and being confident in your arguments.

hnarn 8y ago

>I've noticed a pattern: the people that look "on point" are often clueless, and the ones that look muddled are often heading in the right direction. It's because it has nothing to do with intelligence, and everything to do with presentation. This is why some people work in sales, and some people work in engineering. If someone that has no clue keeps insisting they do understand, at some point you'll start doubting yourself instead. Richard Feynman, who is without much debate one of the most important physicists of all time, said something about asking "dumb" questions, and how people often misunderstood why he was asking the things he was asking. He was trying to look at something from different angles, but if you can't look beyond the question, you might think "why is this person asking me something a child would ask". They're not stupid, they're trying to initiate an exploration of ideas. In my opinion, when you ask a "dumb" question to someone who is more concerned with looking smart and presenting well, their first reaction will be one of confusion, or even mockery. When you ask a truly intelligent person a "dumb" question, they will humor you, and start looking at the problem from different angles, usually trying to involve you in the process. Smart people love to discuss things, "presentable" people hate it, because for them it's just one long continuous risk of being "exposed". Smart people do not fear being exposed, because they know very well what they don't know, which is one of the most common traits among intelligent people, and ironically is why intelligent people feel dumb. One of the most important lessons in my professional life is perhaps similar to yours, and that is that it's easy to recognize true intelligence when you encounter it. Truly intelligent people are normally humble, curious and intense. When you encounter people that are arrogant, narrow-minded and lazy, you're not the one in the wrong. They are just hiding their insecurity. So to the point of the post, what should you do in a situation like this? If you're extremely introverted and not used to working in teams, that is a huge hurdle, because that is how human beings normally seek assurance: through their peers. So if I could give only one general advice here, it would be: work on your people skills. Try to pair up with colleagues, discuss their work, your own work, and be humble. Be open about your doubts, and you'll quickly realize that there is no line of business more full of people with impostor syndrome than IT.

antonios 8y ago
Thank you for this comment. Some golden observations there.
_shadi 8y ago
Thank you for putting this in words, I had thought about how people react to questions and how some would just dismiss them while others will explore and try to know more about your thought process but never could put it in words. the first paragraph in your post reminds me of the Dunning-Kruger effect: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

jondubois 8y ago

So true. Reality is very complex and usually it's a very fine line between the best approach and the second best approach; there are a lot of factors to consider. If someone is overly confident about going in a particular direction, it often means that they haven't thought about it enough. That said there is a big difference between being confident in your abilities and being confident in your arguments.