First off, anxiety sucks and it's more than likely bringing about these negative thoughts. Second, you're experiencing what a lot of people experience in their

First off, anxiety sucks and it's more than likely bringing about these negative thoughts. Second, you're experiencing what a lot of people experience in their first month (or even months). Especially coming from a freelance role, the team experience will take some getting used to. Changing up your collaboration style will take some time, but ultimately you'll be fine. I was also pretty reclusive when I started at my job. To answer you question about getting better. Reading Code and asking questions is the #1 thing to do. In order to write good code, you need the context surrounding your problem. If you're working for a FAANG company they will (hopefully) have coherent coding standards which makes reading code easier. Along with reading code, asking questions is perfectly normal for _everyone_. Engaging with other engineers and seeking knowledge is a part of your job description. If you feel you're asking too much, take some notes and document your learnings. Overall, you're going to be fine!