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Keeping on being diplomatic, I don't think it's an ego problem per se: instead, the egos fight over pointless things such as coding style. Don't get me wrong, I
by GorgeRonde 8y ago
Keeping on being diplomatic, I don't think it's an ego problem per se: instead, the egos fight over pointless things such as coding style. Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against adopting a coding style nor being told I misindented code by mistake. I'm fine with this, this is teamwork. But when the coding style keeps evolving, is not the same depending on the code base, when you have to take into account who your reviewer is in order to know which style to adopt, and when in addition you have very "diplomatic" ways (or, to put it more bluntly, when you have a dominated and introverted personality) you just end up being a punching ball for the whole team and serve as an indirection layer so that the biggest egos in the team can fight each other through proxy wars.
As for a formal certification, here in France "engineer" is a state-certified status. There is no legal liability I can think of (there might be some when you're engineering bridges, but I have not heard of something similar concerning software). To be frank, this status is bullshit. At work I'm using a payment API from a local shop. The CTO comes from a top rated school (the french Calltech), yet their API does not ensure the reception of async notifications like if communication failures wasn't the crucial characteristic of a computer network. In addition to that, they are unable to provide a dedicated infrastructure to their big customers and ended up implementing a rate-limiting system on top of their absolutely business critical payment API (and boasting about it in blog posts). Last time I checked my company experienced a 80% drop rate in payments due to errors or the rate-limit being exceeded.
I say "last time" because I haven't been to work in months, my sick leave being extend month after month by my psychiatrist. I worked a lot these past couple years. In 2017, I think I averaged 70h per week. Actually, I have no idea. I just know I worked a lot of 80/90h long weeks that year. What's certain is that my hourly pay rate dropped under the legal minimum, which isn't surprising since I have the lowest salary in the team (a little less than 40k€/y). Everybody comes to me to fix their shitty problems, and when I push PRs to avoid them code aesthetics and "simplification" takes over in the code review and it takes foreeeever, and I'm never guarded against bug i may have introduced, only indentation and inessential shit like that, so I have to review my code on my own, and these PR never see the light of day and then I'm suddenly considered the master of unfinished work, almost in a self-satisfied tone by people who work almost twice as less as I do and earn almost twice as much. Also I'm not allowed to work remotely (but everybody else in the team is) and I have to be at work before everybody else, and the fact I sometimes come two hours earlier is never taken into account. Oh and my sleep and medication is monitored and I have been subject to very condescending and just borderline illegal remarks about it.
I'm just insanely butthurt to be honest. I could just as well start complaining about being "talked to like a dog" (these are not my words, but what two persons independently told me about the way I was being treated in the team).
And you know what, they are all very concerned about keeping the project's complexity low. Coming from a Clojure background I exactly know what this means and what's wrong with their approach, i.e. they see complexity as opposed to simplicity, but what's pertinent is to actually oppose it to easiness. See Rich Hickey (Clojure's inventor) "Simple made Easy" seminal talk for an in-depth overview of software engineering from this perspective.
To give a concrete example of what this misunderstanding leads to, let me compare the simplicity of markdown, praised by many minimalism hipsters and whose main force is to make us forget its limitations, fascinated as we are by its fixed-width typographical beauty, VS the simplicity of acknowledging that mixing text with control characters (the old-fashioned unix way) is not a sound way to build complex things at a large scale.
Anyway, since then, I've become extremely wary of those who advocate simplicity just like an early or "private" christian would dislike Church (or what it has become).
I'm now getting back to working on extending Clojure's compiler to experiment with the idea of integrating the notion of IDE and editor directly at the language level, but deep down I'm not sure I can continue with this kind of bullshit career, where ability to handle complexity is not just disregarded, but is punished.
- deleted 8y ago[deleted]
- pdimitar 8y agoYep, you ended up like the punching ball of the team. Everybody has frustrations and somehow you ended up being that person who everybody mistreats and vents to. You have to end it. Usually I would tell you "leave your job" but me being from Eastern Europe and not in the cozy enabling environments of most of Europe... I realize you might not have the choice. I don't know your situation so what I can recommend is probably misguided. Still, here goes, in case it can help you (and in case it's not obvious): 1. Leave the job if you can. You already are not working and are apparently still collecting some kind of paycheck. I am not sure any amount of medication of psychiatrists will help you overcome the fear of eventually coming back to that hell you have been working in. How do you feel about that prospect? 2. Take a creative break. It seems you already are doing something along these lines by working on things outside your immediate duties. Do they fulfill you? If not, definitely just stop. I lied on my ass for 2 months before actually going back out there and starting to get stuff done. Sometimes you just need it. Also, programming in your spare time isn't always relaxing. 3. Talk to people about your situation -- not only to people who are paid to listen to you though. That's a very broad advice so apply it as you like. ;) It's OK to be butthurt/salty in this situation. We aren't angels or saints, these things can and do get to us. And you have been wronged, many times. I faced the same. I actually come across as quite manly and assertive to a lot of people but that's mostly my appearance and my attitude of gettings things done without tarrying on petty differences. I strive to never argue emotionally or engage in yelling competitions with people and they very often mistake that for me being a pushover. What I usually do is: if somebody is becoming an obstacle, I just go to a higher manager and talk to them about it. If they don't care or have the wrong idea then I just reduce my efforts in the said work significantly and just move from paycheck to paycheck. Done that many times and now I am suffering financially for months -- very severely! -- because I want to choose a workplace where things are not like that. It seems the mythical "cultural fit" is not BS after all... What I take from your gently shared pain is that you are not a conflicting persona. That's okay. You don't have to be. Do your best to find an environment where you don't have to fight daily with people. They do exist.