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Kids will adjust to whatever their circumstances are though. If you just pull all media, kids will complain for a few days, but eventually just get used to it a

by wincy 8y ago

Kids will adjust to whatever their circumstances are though. If you just pull all media, kids will complain for a few days, but eventually just get used to it and play with their real toys. Hell, kids don’t even really need toys to have a good time, take those away and they’ll go dig in the dirt, jump off couches, and make pillow forts. It’s not hard to “distract toddlers”, my daughter is three and LOVES to help cook. She fries eggs pretty well and I figure the worst that’ll happen is she’ll burn herself (which she hasn’t). Given the right opportunities and structure children can actually be much more helpful than we give them credit for, especially in the USA we’re just sort of taught that children are useless ingrates that are wholly incapable of the most rudimentary tasks (I mean I was certainly treated that way). It’s a self fulfilling prophecy, the more constantly stimulated the kid is, the more difficult it is for them to pay attention when it’s important.

sjg007 8y ago
>It’s a self fulfilling prophecy, the more constantly stimulated the kid is, the more difficult it is for them to pay attention when it’s important. I think this is true for all humans in general. I actually think it is worse for teenagers who have more unsupervised time and don't know any better. -- FYI.. there was a program on about kids in Costa Rica or maybe Honduras where they all had chores. Even the 3 year olds. I thought it was interesting as the kids themselves were very well behaved.
- wincy 8y ago
  I read this about Mayan parenting recently and really enjoyed it.[0] We (the USA) are definitely a WEIRD[1] nation. [0] https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/09/01/641266260/how-to-get-kids-to-do-chores-does-the-maya-method-work https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/09/01/6412662... [1] https://www.theatlantic.com/daily-dish/archive/2010/10/western-educated-industrialized-rich-and-democratic/181667/ https://www.theatlantic.com/daily-dish/archive/2010/10/weste...
  - sjg007 8y ago
    I think this is what I was trying to find.
abalone 8y ago
We don’t have a yard, my kids can’t cook eggs while I’m getting ready, and pillow forts get old. Maybe there is another solution to improving online educational content than shaming parents who find mornings “hard”.
- wincy 8y ago
  Why is isn’t it shaming when we tell people to get vaccinations, then? The current medical research suggests that children 2-5 should have no more than one hour of screen time. The current medical research also suggests children should be vaccinated on schedule.
  - abalone 8y ago
    Your parent-shaming was not about exceeding one hour of screen time, it was about any screen time at all. Not all of us are able to spend our mornings frying eggs with our kids before taking them to the park for three hours (which means you probably have a working partner who is considerably less involved.. shall we judge their parenting?). My comment was about improving the quality of educational content on YouTube, not skipping vaccinations.
ux-app 8y ago
> my daughter is three and LOVES to help cook. She fries eggs pretty well Maybe I'm over protective, but hot oil around a 3 year old sounds like a bad idea. I get it that they can do it, but it only takes 1 accident to scar them for life and 3 year olds are super uncoordinated. I have been called a helicopter parent before though, so maybe it's me being a bit weird.
- wincy 8y ago
  So you’re right, it is a bit scary. We cook on low, with just a little bit of butter. I certainly wouldn’t deep fry ANYTHING with her around, and when I have the kitchen is a no go zone. To me it’s about calculating risk, and a small amount of ~175° with a closely supervised child is not that risky. I get some judgy looks on the playground for studiously ignoring my kid and letting her play for three hours and everyone else stays for maybe 15 minutes being super engaged with their kids before they get super bored and leave, so I guess I’m not really normal. I consider one of my goals to get my daughter to walk to the park alone at five, since that was the age I had agency to go wherever I wanted. I’m not super optimistic, I may end up moving to a small town to make that possible, if I can get a good remote position eventually.
  - chrishynes 8y ago
    "studiously ignoring my kid"... haha you sound exactly like me. I've got a two year old so a bit behind you guys, but same exact philosophy. The anti-helecopter -- give kids just a smidge more responsibility than they can handle (rather than hovering), make sure they don't get seriously injured, but let them learn from the scrapes and bumps. It's crazy how fast they learn and how capable they get at such young ages.
  - ux-app 8y ago
    >I consider one of my goals to get my daughter to walk to the park alone at five, since that was the age I had agency to go wherever I wanted. Are you maybe misremembering your age at the time? I have a 4.5 year old at home and there is no way that I think he will be ready to go the park a couple of streets away on his own. By not ready I mean, in no way capable of judging when to cross a street safely and may get lost on the way, especially if he gets distracted and absentmindedly wanders in an unfamiliar direction. There was a recent study [1] that showed that kids have a highly elevated risk of accident when crossing the road right up to the age of 14 (!! was surprised to read this). Some points from the research: - simulating traffic showed accident rates as high as eight per cent with six-year-olds - Even those aged 12 were hit by vehicles two per cent of the time - It was not until early adolescence that children crossed the road safely Just thought I'd point this out in case you were not aware of the research. Kudos for promoting self-reliance and independence though. I am a long way in the other direction where I do way too much to try and ensure my kid's safety. I know I need to ease up so that he can start to make his own mistakes. [1] https://now.uiowa.edu/2017/04/why-children-struggle-cross-busy-streets-safely https://now.uiowa.edu/2017/04/why-children-struggle-cross-bu...

by wincy 8y ago

sjg007 8y ago

>It’s a self fulfilling prophecy, the more constantly stimulated the kid is, the more difficult it is for them to pay attention when it’s important. I think this is true for all humans in general. I actually think it is worse for teenagers who have more unsupervised time and don't know any better. -- FYI.. there was a program on about kids in Costa Rica or maybe Honduras where they all had chores. Even the 3 year olds. I thought it was interesting as the kids themselves were very well behaved.

wincy 8y ago
I read this about Mayan parenting recently and really enjoyed it.[0] We (the USA) are definitely a WEIRD[1] nation. [0] https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/09/01/641266260/how-to-get-kids-to-do-chores-does-the-maya-method-work https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/09/01/6412662... [1] https://www.theatlantic.com/daily-dish/archive/2010/10/western-educated-industrialized-rich-and-democratic/181667/ https://www.theatlantic.com/daily-dish/archive/2010/10/weste...
- sjg007 8y ago
  I think this is what I was trying to find.

abalone 8y ago

We don’t have a yard, my kids can’t cook eggs while I’m getting ready, and pillow forts get old. Maybe there is another solution to improving online educational content than shaming parents who find mornings “hard”.

wincy 8y ago
Why is isn’t it shaming when we tell people to get vaccinations, then? The current medical research suggests that children 2-5 should have no more than one hour of screen time. The current medical research also suggests children should be vaccinated on schedule.
- abalone 8y ago
  Your parent-shaming was not about exceeding one hour of screen time, it was about any screen time at all. Not all of us are able to spend our mornings frying eggs with our kids before taking them to the park for three hours (which means you probably have a working partner who is considerably less involved.. shall we judge their parenting?). My comment was about improving the quality of educational content on YouTube, not skipping vaccinations.

ux-app 8y ago

> my daughter is three and LOVES to help cook. She fries eggs pretty well Maybe I'm over protective, but hot oil around a 3 year old sounds like a bad idea. I get it that they can do it, but it only takes 1 accident to scar them for life and 3 year olds are super uncoordinated. I have been called a helicopter parent before though, so maybe it's me being a bit weird.

wincy 8y ago
So you’re right, it is a bit scary. We cook on low, with just a little bit of butter. I certainly wouldn’t deep fry ANYTHING with her around, and when I have the kitchen is a no go zone. To me it’s about calculating risk, and a small amount of ~175° with a closely supervised child is not that risky. I get some judgy looks on the playground for studiously ignoring my kid and letting her play for three hours and everyone else stays for maybe 15 minutes being super engaged with their kids before they get super bored and leave, so I guess I’m not really normal. I consider one of my goals to get my daughter to walk to the park alone at five, since that was the age I had agency to go wherever I wanted. I’m not super optimistic, I may end up moving to a small town to make that possible, if I can get a good remote position eventually.
- chrishynes 8y ago
  "studiously ignoring my kid"... haha you sound exactly like me. I've got a two year old so a bit behind you guys, but same exact philosophy. The anti-helecopter -- give kids just a smidge more responsibility than they can handle (rather than hovering), make sure they don't get seriously injured, but let them learn from the scrapes and bumps. It's crazy how fast they learn and how capable they get at such young ages.
- ux-app 8y ago
  >I consider one of my goals to get my daughter to walk to the park alone at five, since that was the age I had agency to go wherever I wanted. Are you maybe misremembering your age at the time? I have a 4.5 year old at home and there is no way that I think he will be ready to go the park a couple of streets away on his own. By not ready I mean, in no way capable of judging when to cross a street safely and may get lost on the way, especially if he gets distracted and absentmindedly wanders in an unfamiliar direction. There was a recent study [1] that showed that kids have a highly elevated risk of accident when crossing the road right up to the age of 14 (!! was surprised to read this). Some points from the research: - simulating traffic showed accident rates as high as eight per cent with six-year-olds - Even those aged 12 were hit by vehicles two per cent of the time - It was not until early adolescence that children crossed the road safely Just thought I'd point this out in case you were not aware of the research. Kudos for promoting self-reliance and independence though. I am a long way in the other direction where I do way too much to try and ensure my kid's safety. I know I need to ease up so that he can start to make his own mistakes. [1] https://now.uiowa.edu/2017/04/why-children-struggle-cross-busy-streets-safely https://now.uiowa.edu/2017/04/why-children-struggle-cross-bu...