3 ms·

In all seriousness is dating as a software engineer difficult? I would've thought that with the money and consistent free time it wouldn't be that bad.

blattimwind 8y ago
It is not.
1337biz 8y ago
In this world there are hunters and farmers.
scythe 8y ago
It depends on your personality, cultural background/preferences, and lifestyle as well as the more traditional factors like appearance, race, height, etc. Some kinds of people like to date "techies", but other kinds of people don't. But you personally may feel more compatible with someone in the second category, which can be frustrating. For many software engineers, dating can be very easy; for others, not so easy. (NB. Bay Area perspective.)
munchbunny 8y ago
It's not, or at least not directly because you're a software engineer. However, some areas where software engineers tend to congregate (I'm mostly talking about Silicon Valley) have some pretty skewed demographics, so if you're a straight male in San Francisco, it's going to be harder for you.
nostrademons 8y ago
In Silicon Valley it's terrible, largely because of the skewed gender ratio, gender-segregated employment & hobbies, and culture of working all the time. Even if you get a date and have time to go on it there's a good chance you'll have nothing to talk with her about. In most other cities (even just going an hour north to SF) it's fine. "Software engineer" used to have a nerd stigma a generation ago, but that hasn't been the case in a decade or more, and nerds can do fine with women.
- staticautomatic 8y ago
  A) First date is mostly about listening. B) If 100% of your hobbies and life interests are gender-specific things that you can't talk about on dates, you might wanna branch out a little. C) A and B also apply to women.
  - nostrademons 8y ago
    Well, I'm happily married and my wife is a Silicon Valley native, so ultimately I "succeeded" at the dating game. It was pretty miserable while I was in it, though. Silicon Valley is not really a place where the culture encourages "branching out a little", nor does it attract people who are interested in that. This is self-reinforcing: people who were born here and aren't interested in tech tend to move up to SF/Berkeley/Oakland while they're single, which have greater cultural diversity. I was in some sense lucky: I met my wife when she had recently moved back from Peru and was re-establishing her career here. Another year or so and she probably would've moved to Berkeley.
  - gscott 8y ago
    What I have learned about a first date is it is to try to get a second date. Try to be yourself but not to strange. If you are trying to act like someone else the woman sees right through it.
  - Simon_says 8y ago
    > B) If 100% of your hobbies and life interests are gender-specific things that you can't talk about on dates, you might wanna branch out a little. That's condescending. Maybe I choose my interests for my enjoyment rather than other peoples'.

blattimwind 8y ago

It is not.

1337biz 8y ago

In this world there are hunters and farmers.

scythe 8y ago

It depends on your personality, cultural background/preferences, and lifestyle as well as the more traditional factors like appearance, race, height, etc. Some kinds of people like to date "techies", but other kinds of people don't. But you personally may feel more compatible with someone in the second category, which can be frustrating. For many software engineers, dating can be very easy; for others, not so easy. (NB. Bay Area perspective.)

munchbunny 8y ago

It's not, or at least not directly because you're a software engineer. However, some areas where software engineers tend to congregate (I'm mostly talking about Silicon Valley) have some pretty skewed demographics, so if you're a straight male in San Francisco, it's going to be harder for you.

nostrademons 8y ago

In Silicon Valley it's terrible, largely because of the skewed gender ratio, gender-segregated employment & hobbies, and culture of working all the time. Even if you get a date and have time to go on it there's a good chance you'll have nothing to talk with her about. In most other cities (even just going an hour north to SF) it's fine. "Software engineer" used to have a nerd stigma a generation ago, but that hasn't been the case in a decade or more, and nerds can do fine with women.

staticautomatic 8y ago
A) First date is mostly about listening. B) If 100% of your hobbies and life interests are gender-specific things that you can't talk about on dates, you might wanna branch out a little. C) A and B also apply to women.
- nostrademons 8y ago
  Well, I'm happily married and my wife is a Silicon Valley native, so ultimately I "succeeded" at the dating game. It was pretty miserable while I was in it, though. Silicon Valley is not really a place where the culture encourages "branching out a little", nor does it attract people who are interested in that. This is self-reinforcing: people who were born here and aren't interested in tech tend to move up to SF/Berkeley/Oakland while they're single, which have greater cultural diversity. I was in some sense lucky: I met my wife when she had recently moved back from Peru and was re-establishing her career here. Another year or so and she probably would've moved to Berkeley.
- gscott 8y ago
  What I have learned about a first date is it is to try to get a second date. Try to be yourself but not to strange. If you are trying to act like someone else the woman sees right through it.
- Simon_says 8y ago
  > B) If 100% of your hobbies and life interests are gender-specific things that you can't talk about on dates, you might wanna branch out a little. That's condescending. Maybe I choose my interests for my enjoyment rather than other peoples'.