3 ms·

This is such a bizarre request. What you're basically saying is, because 5% of people don't understand the common norms that are blindingly obvious to everyone

This is such a bizarre request. What you're basically saying is, because 5% of people don't understand the common norms that are blindingly obvious to everyone, the 95% must go out of their way to explain and accommodate the minority. Why is the onus on the 95% to do that, as opposed to the 5% to have the recognition that their lack of grace in this context is an issue and instead choose to find a different playground? I'm going to be cold about this: if you do not have the ability to navigate the social norms within a professional working environment, you ethically should not be allowed to pursue romantic interests there. Bottom line. Accommodating to that inability should never come at the cost of someone else's discomfort, nor are you entitled to pursue any possible interest just because you happen to work there.

naasking 8y ago
> What you're basically saying is, because 5% of people don't understand the common norms that are blindingly obvious to everyone, the 95% must go out of their way to explain and accommodate the minority. Yes. Why is that bizarre? Do you think we should accommodate blind people? Should we install ramps in buildings so the physically disabled can access them? > Accommodating to that inability should never come at the cost of someone else's discomfort There's no such thing as a right to comfort. I could just as easily turn it around and say that someone's comfort should never come at the expense of another's ability to work so they can put food on the table. Ideally, we should endeavour to support both goals, not sneer at people because we think we're better than them. > I'm going to be cold about this: if you do not have the ability to navigate the social norms within a professional working environment, you ethically should not be allowed to pursue romantic interests there. Let's rephrase: "I'm going to be cold about this: if you do not have the ability to navigate the physical spaces of a professional environment, you should not be allowed to work there."
- exogeny 8y ago
  Just so I'm 100% clear: you believe that being blind, and being unable to read social cues to such an extent that you are considered a sexual harasser for pursuing a relationship are equivalent disabilities? "Stop being such a creep" and "stop being blind" don't really feel all that equivalent to me.
  - naasking 8y ago
    > "Stop being such a creep" and "stop being blind" don't really feel all that equivalent to me. A creep doesn't understand what makes him creepy, that's the whole point. So it seems like the "advice" is both cases is equally unhelpful.

naasking 8y ago

> What you're basically saying is, because 5% of people don't understand the common norms that are blindingly obvious to everyone, the 95% must go out of their way to explain and accommodate the minority. Yes. Why is that bizarre? Do you think we should accommodate blind people? Should we install ramps in buildings so the physically disabled can access them? > Accommodating to that inability should never come at the cost of someone else's discomfort There's no such thing as a right to comfort. I could just as easily turn it around and say that someone's comfort should never come at the expense of another's ability to work so they can put food on the table. Ideally, we should endeavour to support both goals, not sneer at people because we think we're better than them. > I'm going to be cold about this: if you do not have the ability to navigate the social norms within a professional working environment, you ethically should not be allowed to pursue romantic interests there. Let's rephrase: "I'm going to be cold about this: if you do not have the ability to navigate the physical spaces of a professional environment, you should not be allowed to work there."

exogeny 8y ago
Just so I'm 100% clear: you believe that being blind, and being unable to read social cues to such an extent that you are considered a sexual harasser for pursuing a relationship are equivalent disabilities? "Stop being such a creep" and "stop being blind" don't really feel all that equivalent to me.
- naasking 8y ago
  > "Stop being such a creep" and "stop being blind" don't really feel all that equivalent to me. A creep doesn't understand what makes him creepy, that's the whole point. So it seems like the "advice" is both cases is equally unhelpful.