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I definitely hurt my social life a lot by leaving Facebook. I don't try to hide it by saying "only real friends that will send me mail or call me matter!" becau

I definitely hurt my social life a lot by leaving Facebook. I don't try to hide it by saying "only real friends that will send me mail or call me matter!" because as someone in their mid 20s/college, a lot of serendipitous social stuff happens on Facebook (maybe now IG). Some people I've met even give you their IG username rather than their phone if they just met you. It is entirely normal to have friends you aren't super close with but still want in your life. A lot can be reached through iMessage/SMS but a ton of stuff happens on social networks nowadays.

Rjevski 8y ago
As someone in the same age bracket I can definitely relate. I still think Facebook is toxic and should die, but I'm considering keeping a pseudonymous profile with very little personal information on it on a separate device just for stuff like this.
dvtrn 8y ago
Not that I'm entirely at an age where celebrating my birthday matters much anymore, but I deleted my account about a year ago. One person not an immediate family member remembered to wish me a happy birthday when it came up. One. It confirmed a lot about us and how much is informed by blue F company.
- eksemplar 8y ago
  I made my birthdate private on Facebook and now I only receive congratulating from family and a few close friends. I don’t think it’s because people don’t remember you though, I think it’s because Facebook has trained us to let it be our assistant for birthdays. It’s also made you used to having tons of people “remember” you, even though they would have never done so before Facebook. It’s really a lonelyness machine in that regard. When I left Facebook for a period I didn’t remember birthdays either though. I’ve since added birthdays to my contacts so my Callander app is now responsible for being my birthday assistant instead of Facebook. I also always send a SMS or call and never congratulate on Facebook, exactly because it’s so shallow.
thsowers 8y ago
> It is entirely normal to have friends you aren't super close with but still want in your life. A lot can be reached through iMessage/SMS but a ton of stuff happens on social networks nowadays. I am in a similar position, and have no social media. To echo some of your points, when I first left FB there were some events that I missed out on that I would consider high importance to me. At first, I was shocked, I tried to hide it with the "real friends with mail me!" excuse, but I was still "disappointed" (for lack of a better word) I'm lucky enough where a observant extrovert in my social circle noticed my preferences, and now they email/text me about most events. I try to keep in touch with the rest of my friends over phone, and people i'm not super close with over email. I don't do the best job, but I don't miss FB
- eksemplar 8y ago
  I did that for a while, but it’s also feels kind of shitty to be the one friend everyone has to go out of their way to invite to everything. I know it’s a chicken and egg situation but I eventually rejoined Facebook to not be the hassle. I don’t use any of their apps though, and I only check fb a few times a week to see what events are happening, and if someone messages me it’ll have to wait until I’m on the desktop version.

Rjevski 8y ago

As someone in the same age bracket I can definitely relate. I still think Facebook is toxic and should die, but I'm considering keeping a pseudonymous profile with very little personal information on it on a separate device just for stuff like this.

dvtrn 8y ago

Not that I'm entirely at an age where celebrating my birthday matters much anymore, but I deleted my account about a year ago. One person not an immediate family member remembered to wish me a happy birthday when it came up. One. It confirmed a lot about us and how much is informed by blue F company.

eksemplar 8y ago
I made my birthdate private on Facebook and now I only receive congratulating from family and a few close friends. I don’t think it’s because people don’t remember you though, I think it’s because Facebook has trained us to let it be our assistant for birthdays. It’s also made you used to having tons of people “remember” you, even though they would have never done so before Facebook. It’s really a lonelyness machine in that regard. When I left Facebook for a period I didn’t remember birthdays either though. I’ve since added birthdays to my contacts so my Callander app is now responsible for being my birthday assistant instead of Facebook. I also always send a SMS or call and never congratulate on Facebook, exactly because it’s so shallow.

thsowers 8y ago

> It is entirely normal to have friends you aren't super close with but still want in your life. A lot can be reached through iMessage/SMS but a ton of stuff happens on social networks nowadays. I am in a similar position, and have no social media. To echo some of your points, when I first left FB there were some events that I missed out on that I would consider high importance to me. At first, I was shocked, I tried to hide it with the "real friends with mail me!" excuse, but I was still "disappointed" (for lack of a better word) I'm lucky enough where a observant extrovert in my social circle noticed my preferences, and now they email/text me about most events. I try to keep in touch with the rest of my friends over phone, and people i'm not super close with over email. I don't do the best job, but I don't miss FB

eksemplar 8y ago
I did that for a while, but it’s also feels kind of shitty to be the one friend everyone has to go out of their way to invite to everything. I know it’s a chicken and egg situation but I eventually rejoined Facebook to not be the hassle. I don’t use any of their apps though, and I only check fb a few times a week to see what events are happening, and if someone messages me it’ll have to wait until I’m on the desktop version.