> instead of asking "How’s it going?" ask "Anything I can do". The author specifically recommends NOT to throw the ball in the aggrieved person's court. > If

> instead of asking "How’s it going?" ask "Anything I can do". The author specifically recommends NOT to throw the ball in the aggrieved person's court. > If you’re close enough to the survivors (or if they don’t seem like they have a lot of support), spend time with them. Don’t put the ball in their court. It’s a very rational feeling for grieving folks to say, “No one REALLY wants to be around someone in my state of mind — so I’ll spare them that.” You have to be pushy, which feels a bit unnatural when you’re trying to be respectful.