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Don't listen to the internet trolls, build connections with people who share common interests, and hopefully some of them will support you. I have personally f

Don't listen to the internet trolls, build connections with people who share common interests, and hopefully some of them will support you. I have personally found the older generations (I'm 25) to be more approachable. It's this that scares me. I'll bore you with a story from today. I'm building a coffee table for my new place. I got the top from Home Depot, and was looking for table legs. I was wondering around a vintage market and met this guy Jimmy, who has a studio down the street. He sold me 4 legs for $15 and gave me a bunch of great advise, telling me to text him when I was done with it. I assured him it wasn't going to be pretty, but he didn't care in the least. This is why I hate online shopping, and these are the interactions I cherish most.

rootusrootus 8y ago
> I have personally found the older generations (I'm 25) to be more approachable. It's this that scares me. I think in general everyone gets more approachable with age. Somehow we all evolve bit-by-bit from asshole teenager to lovable old grandpa. Well, most of us at least. Ha! When you're young you care too much about things that don't really matter, and you eventually grow out of it. Sounds like maybe you're ahead of your peers. Maybe you just skipped the asshole teenager stage altogether? ;-)
- ekr 8y ago
  Testosterone levels drop significantly with age, and that probably explains the lack of competitiveness and increasing agreeableness in older people.
  - rootusrootus 8y ago
    Perhaps, though testosterone doesn't really start to fall off dramatically until after middle age. In my own experience most people seem to have mellowed out significantly by the time they get into their 40s. Not everyone, of course, e.g. my 70 year old next door neighbor didn't evolve into a lovable old grandpa, he became a grumpy old man.
    - nixpulvis 8y ago
      We called my grandfather Grumpa.
wcunning 8y ago
I can entirely agree on that experience. I got into machine tools, and in looking for pieces and accessories on craigslist, I ran into someone who's become quite a mentor to me. He rebuilds crashed CNC machines, serious ones worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. The skills he taught me for free, just because I was interested, are shared by maybe, maybe ten thousand people in the world. That kind of friendliness is hard to come by in anybody, but I definitely see it more in the older generations (I'm 27, he's in his very early 60's). As a sibling comment points out, I think some of that is the maturity that comes with age -- someone over 50 just doesn't have any interest in competing with a 25 year old on a hobby, or at least they have a much lower average interest in that competition. But some of it is just that at 25 you don't have enough time invested in a hobby or a pastime to have a whole lot to contribute to someone just getting into it. You also haven't spent years looking for other members of your weird, niche community. For a good, easily accessible example of this, stop by your local HAM radio club and talk to the definitely-older-than-your-average-startup-employee guys there about what it takes to get licensed and how many young people are getting into the hobby...
joaomacp 8y ago
Yes, this is the answer: the feeling that you're not good enough comes from individualism: focusing on yourself. If instead you find a community and act altruistically for its greater good, you'll find ways to help and feel achievement that way. Another comment also said that with parenthood these feelings fade, because the needs of the family emerge.

rootusrootus 8y ago

> I have personally found the older generations (I'm 25) to be more approachable. It's this that scares me. I think in general everyone gets more approachable with age. Somehow we all evolve bit-by-bit from asshole teenager to lovable old grandpa. Well, most of us at least. Ha! When you're young you care too much about things that don't really matter, and you eventually grow out of it. Sounds like maybe you're ahead of your peers. Maybe you just skipped the asshole teenager stage altogether? ;-)

ekr 8y ago
Testosterone levels drop significantly with age, and that probably explains the lack of competitiveness and increasing agreeableness in older people.
- rootusrootus 8y ago
  Perhaps, though testosterone doesn't really start to fall off dramatically until after middle age. In my own experience most people seem to have mellowed out significantly by the time they get into their 40s. Not everyone, of course, e.g. my 70 year old next door neighbor didn't evolve into a lovable old grandpa, he became a grumpy old man.
  - nixpulvis 8y ago
    We called my grandfather Grumpa.

wcunning 8y ago

I can entirely agree on that experience. I got into machine tools, and in looking for pieces and accessories on craigslist, I ran into someone who's become quite a mentor to me. He rebuilds crashed CNC machines, serious ones worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. The skills he taught me for free, just because I was interested, are shared by maybe, maybe ten thousand people in the world. That kind of friendliness is hard to come by in anybody, but I definitely see it more in the older generations (I'm 27, he's in his very early 60's). As a sibling comment points out, I think some of that is the maturity that comes with age -- someone over 50 just doesn't have any interest in competing with a 25 year old on a hobby, or at least they have a much lower average interest in that competition. But some of it is just that at 25 you don't have enough time invested in a hobby or a pastime to have a whole lot to contribute to someone just getting into it. You also haven't spent years looking for other members of your weird, niche community. For a good, easily accessible example of this, stop by your local HAM radio club and talk to the definitely-older-than-your-average-startup-employee guys there about what it takes to get licensed and how many young people are getting into the hobby...

joaomacp 8y ago

Yes, this is the answer: the feeling that you're not good enough comes from individualism: focusing on yourself. If instead you find a community and act altruistically for its greater good, you'll find ways to help and feel achievement that way. Another comment also said that with parenthood these feelings fade, because the needs of the family emerge.