4 ms·

> I'm talking from a male perspective here, as I know the mommy-bloggers are demon spawn in the comparisons regard. What do you mean by this? Can't men can be

by panic 8y ago

> I'm talking from a male perspective here, as I know the mommy-bloggers are demon spawn in the comparisons regard. What do you mean by this? Can't men can be "demon spawn" too in this regard?

bitexploder 8y ago
Yeah, sure. Mommy bloggers is just a group prone to coplmparing, oneupmanship, and being “perfect”. Not all of them of course, but it is a thing. Just call them hyper-perfectionist parent bloggers
zamfi 8y ago
Not the OP, but I think what he means is that mommy-bloggers provide a very visible, high-bar point of comparison. Many of these mommy-blogs (though certainly not all) show perfect lives, perfect activities, perfectly photogenic children, perfect this and perfect that. The reality is that (especially early) parenthood is very harsh, and very hard to do alone -- doing it while achieving this "perfect life" as displayed on these blogs is basically impossible for working parents, but it's portrayed as being easy. Naturally, many mothers feel that their own efforts fall far short in comparison, and feel like they're failing their children as a result. As a new dad, I can tell you this is one of the biggest fears and one of the most painful feelings I have ever experienced. Could there be similar daddy-bloggers with daddy-blogs showing perfect daddy lives? Absolutely. But somehow it's not very prevalent.
- Balgair 8y ago
  Exactly! I'm certain daddy-bloggers exist out there, but the mommy-bloggers are on a whole other level. Early childhood is just ... fluids ... everywhere. Having time for perfect makeup and lighting design is hysterically funny in it's unreality, but nonetheless, make MANY women feel terrible all the same. I can't count the number of ladies I know that deal with PPD.
- pandapower2 8y ago
  Noting right at the beginning, I'm a father. I suspect that part of the reason why insecurity inducing daddy blogs are comparatively rare is that the bar for fathers is traditionally very low compared to what is expected of mothers in regard to caring for children. The standard for being a great mother is high verging on impossible. Be available to your children 24/7, be patient, kind, and caring 24/7, be interested in every detail of your children's lives, prepare fresh nutritious meals and snacks, keep the house clean, oh, and get a part time job. The traditional standard for being a great father is relatively modest. Earn enough to pay the bills, spend a non-zero amount of time with your children, show some modest level of interest in your children's lives, don't get drunk and hit your wife and kids. Simply being physically present and not being abusive gets you points as a dad. Mothers can pretty much never do enough. Meanwhile fathers like myself get praised for doing relatively trivial things like going to a playground on the weekend or making the effort to NOT work late so as to be home before the kids go to bed.
  - kbenson 8y ago
    > The traditional standard for being a great father is relatively modest. Earn enough to pay the bills, spend a non-zero amount of time with your children, show some modest level of interest in your children's lives, don't get drunk and hit your wife and kids. Simply being physically present and not being abusive gets you points as a dad. Sort of. I definitely feel guilty about not spending enough time with my kids doing hobbies, imparting knowledge and skills, etc. I feel very selfish because I want my own time. Then again, I feel that quite a lot of current children are coddled and over parented. But how much of that is me rationalizing my own guilt, and how much is justified? I definitely don't do a lot of research on what parenting is best (partially because I'm not sure how trustworthy any of that is, but again, confirmation bias...). Parental imposter syndrome is real too. :/
    - cheschire 8y ago
      Such an appropriate post for this article. It seems that we could expand the argument supporting mediocrity beyond the scope of hobbies and include parenthood as well.
analog31 8y ago
What I tell my younger friends and colleagues is: "You don't want to see what people my age post on Facebook." The endless bragging on top of bragging, about their wonderful luxury vacations, home cooked meals, and brilliant children. And yes, men can be demon spawn too.

by panic 8y ago

> I'm talking from a male perspective here, as I know the mommy-bloggers are demon spawn in the comparisons regard. What do you mean by this? Can't men can be "demon spawn" too in this regard?

bitexploder 8y ago

Yeah, sure. Mommy bloggers is just a group prone to coplmparing, oneupmanship, and being “perfect”. Not all of them of course, but it is a thing. Just call them hyper-perfectionist parent bloggers

zamfi 8y ago

Not the OP, but I think what he means is that mommy-bloggers provide a very visible, high-bar point of comparison. Many of these mommy-blogs (though certainly not all) show perfect lives, perfect activities, perfectly photogenic children, perfect this and perfect that. The reality is that (especially early) parenthood is very harsh, and very hard to do alone -- doing it while achieving this "perfect life" as displayed on these blogs is basically impossible for working parents, but it's portrayed as being easy. Naturally, many mothers feel that their own efforts fall far short in comparison, and feel like they're failing their children as a result. As a new dad, I can tell you this is one of the biggest fears and one of the most painful feelings I have ever experienced. Could there be similar daddy-bloggers with daddy-blogs showing perfect daddy lives? Absolutely. But somehow it's not very prevalent.

Balgair 8y ago
Exactly! I'm certain daddy-bloggers exist out there, but the mommy-bloggers are on a whole other level. Early childhood is just ... fluids ... everywhere. Having time for perfect makeup and lighting design is hysterically funny in it's unreality, but nonetheless, make MANY women feel terrible all the same. I can't count the number of ladies I know that deal with PPD.
pandapower2 8y ago
Noting right at the beginning, I'm a father. I suspect that part of the reason why insecurity inducing daddy blogs are comparatively rare is that the bar for fathers is traditionally very low compared to what is expected of mothers in regard to caring for children. The standard for being a great mother is high verging on impossible. Be available to your children 24/7, be patient, kind, and caring 24/7, be interested in every detail of your children's lives, prepare fresh nutritious meals and snacks, keep the house clean, oh, and get a part time job. The traditional standard for being a great father is relatively modest. Earn enough to pay the bills, spend a non-zero amount of time with your children, show some modest level of interest in your children's lives, don't get drunk and hit your wife and kids. Simply being physically present and not being abusive gets you points as a dad. Mothers can pretty much never do enough. Meanwhile fathers like myself get praised for doing relatively trivial things like going to a playground on the weekend or making the effort to NOT work late so as to be home before the kids go to bed.
- kbenson 8y ago
  > The traditional standard for being a great father is relatively modest. Earn enough to pay the bills, spend a non-zero amount of time with your children, show some modest level of interest in your children's lives, don't get drunk and hit your wife and kids. Simply being physically present and not being abusive gets you points as a dad. Sort of. I definitely feel guilty about not spending enough time with my kids doing hobbies, imparting knowledge and skills, etc. I feel very selfish because I want my own time. Then again, I feel that quite a lot of current children are coddled and over parented. But how much of that is me rationalizing my own guilt, and how much is justified? I definitely don't do a lot of research on what parenting is best (partially because I'm not sure how trustworthy any of that is, but again, confirmation bias...). Parental imposter syndrome is real too. :/
  - cheschire 8y ago
    Such an appropriate post for this article. It seems that we could expand the argument supporting mediocrity beyond the scope of hobbies and include parenthood as well.

analog31 8y ago

What I tell my younger friends and colleagues is: "You don't want to see what people my age post on Facebook." The endless bragging on top of bragging, about their wonderful luxury vacations, home cooked meals, and brilliant children. And yes, men can be demon spawn too.