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Not mentioned, but for me a huge red flag is when anyone in a leadership position tries to stifle criticism on the basis that it might lower morale. For years I

Not mentioned, but for me a huge red flag is when anyone in a leadership position tries to stifle criticism on the basis that it might lower morale. For years I dealt with an entrepreneur who did this constantly. We'd have discussions like this: Me: there is no way we can match Pandora's functionality, especially given such a short deadline. Him: I want to know why you are so negative. Do you realize how much your words are hurting the team? Tim told me yesterday he's feeling really bummed out by your negativity. Me: Cool, but there is no way we can match Pandora's functionality, especially given such a short deadline. Him: I think you need to get back to work, and also rethink why you are so negative.

mgkimsal 16y ago
I've been in situations like that before too. In some situations I really was 'negative', and got myself out of those situations. In other situations, I would couple the observations like "we can't get this done on this deadline" with practical options... "but if we do ABC in the next 3 weeks we can deliver XYZ." I was trying to get real options to be discussed, rather than just deathmarching. In some cases, that was met with - well, not positivity - but an understanding that I (we, in some cases) was trying to be reasonable, and generally something was worked out. In other cases, I got what you got back "you're being negative". In those situations, it really wasn't me - "negative" was just a code word for "not on board with a magical mindset of someone who's not in touch with reality". Anyone that didn't deliver or hit deadlines inevitably had a real reason, but giving the reason was just "making excuses" or "being negative". Once I realized, I got out of those situations (been in a few over the past 15 years). A big issue in being in situations like that - you're given impossible deadlines - when you point them out, you're being 'negative'. Then suddenly, when you miss the deadline, you're accused of purposefully not hitting the deadline, trying to 'prove your point' or playing some 'power game'. I've bee in those situations too, and it sucks (advice to anyone in those situations - get the hell out yesterday).
- Dylanlacey 16y ago
  I think there's a large number of rules of thumb like this that can help detect that people you're working with suck. I certainly found the same thing when I would bring honest assessments of timeframes and suggestions about them: "You need to be less negative."
HeyLaughingBoy 16y ago
The thing is, you are being negative. If the person you're talking to can't see past that to the positive aspects of what you're saying, then you have to be more explicit about it. (revised) You: I know we have a really short deadline, but here's a list of critical Pandora features that we can complete in that time along with a timeline of when each one rolls out. I think these are the most important ones you need, and we can implement the rest once we see how the initial release is received. TV weather forecasters are famous for always finding something positive to say about the weather, no matter how bad it is. "Sure, it'll be raining cats and dogs all weekend, but these guys over here in Dubuque are seeing cows and horses falling out of the sky! Lucky we're not them"
- lkrubner 16y ago
  I appreciate what you are saying, but I can not take the full responsibility for helping other people realize that they are making a mistake. The bulk of the responsibility has to stay with them. Each one of us is responsible for the extent to which we stay in touch with the reality of the situation we face. Mind you, I've dealt with some folks who seemed determined to avoid facing up to some painful truths, especially when things go badly. And in those cases, I think sometimes a certain amount of frankness is called for, even if that seems negative. I've written abut this before, talking about a real business that I had to deal with: http://www.teamlalala.com/blog/2009/04/06/the-importance-of-having-a-negative-attitude/ http://www.teamlalala.com/blog/2009/04/06/the-importance-of-... I hope you won't mind if I share a personal story with you. Its about when my father died of cancer. The thing is, when he was dying, my mom and I were deep in denial about it. Every time a doctor said something ambiguous, we would interpret in the most positive way possible. And the doctors and nurses we dealt with avoided being frank with us, because they worried that would be rude. They worried about hurting our feelings. But in the end, when my dad died, my mom and I were caught off guard and unprepared. And in retrospect, I realized, what we needed was for some doctor to be brutally, awfully, harshly honest with us. None of the doctors we dealt with had the courage to do it. And of course, to some extent, my denial is my own responsibility. The only fault that can attach to the doctors is the fault of not giving us information clearly. So, nowadays, when I deal with entrepreneurs, I try to be as honest with them as I wish the doctors had been with me. It's a gift to be that honest. If the entrepreneurs want to call me negative, then perhaps they don't deserve the gift that I'm trying to give. But I try to behave the way I wanted the doctors to behave: brutally, awfully, harshly honest.

mgkimsal 16y ago

I've been in situations like that before too. In some situations I really was 'negative', and got myself out of those situations. In other situations, I would couple the observations like "we can't get this done on this deadline" with practical options... "but if we do ABC in the next 3 weeks we can deliver XYZ." I was trying to get real options to be discussed, rather than just deathmarching. In some cases, that was met with - well, not positivity - but an understanding that I (we, in some cases) was trying to be reasonable, and generally something was worked out. In other cases, I got what you got back "you're being negative". In those situations, it really wasn't me - "negative" was just a code word for "not on board with a magical mindset of someone who's not in touch with reality". Anyone that didn't deliver or hit deadlines inevitably had a real reason, but giving the reason was just "making excuses" or "being negative". Once I realized, I got out of those situations (been in a few over the past 15 years). A big issue in being in situations like that - you're given impossible deadlines - when you point them out, you're being 'negative'. Then suddenly, when you miss the deadline, you're accused of purposefully not hitting the deadline, trying to 'prove your point' or playing some 'power game'. I've bee in those situations too, and it sucks (advice to anyone in those situations - get the hell out yesterday).

Dylanlacey 16y ago
I think there's a large number of rules of thumb like this that can help detect that people you're working with suck. I certainly found the same thing when I would bring honest assessments of timeframes and suggestions about them: "You need to be less negative."

HeyLaughingBoy 16y ago

The thing is, you are being negative. If the person you're talking to can't see past that to the positive aspects of what you're saying, then you have to be more explicit about it. (revised) You: I know we have a really short deadline, but here's a list of critical Pandora features that we can complete in that time along with a timeline of when each one rolls out. I think these are the most important ones you need, and we can implement the rest once we see how the initial release is received. TV weather forecasters are famous for always finding something positive to say about the weather, no matter how bad it is. "Sure, it'll be raining cats and dogs all weekend, but these guys over here in Dubuque are seeing cows and horses falling out of the sky! Lucky we're not them"

lkrubner 16y ago
I appreciate what you are saying, but I can not take the full responsibility for helping other people realize that they are making a mistake. The bulk of the responsibility has to stay with them. Each one of us is responsible for the extent to which we stay in touch with the reality of the situation we face. Mind you, I've dealt with some folks who seemed determined to avoid facing up to some painful truths, especially when things go badly. And in those cases, I think sometimes a certain amount of frankness is called for, even if that seems negative. I've written abut this before, talking about a real business that I had to deal with: http://www.teamlalala.com/blog/2009/04/06/the-importance-of-having-a-negative-attitude/ http://www.teamlalala.com/blog/2009/04/06/the-importance-of-... I hope you won't mind if I share a personal story with you. Its about when my father died of cancer. The thing is, when he was dying, my mom and I were deep in denial about it. Every time a doctor said something ambiguous, we would interpret in the most positive way possible. And the doctors and nurses we dealt with avoided being frank with us, because they worried that would be rude. They worried about hurting our feelings. But in the end, when my dad died, my mom and I were caught off guard and unprepared. And in retrospect, I realized, what we needed was for some doctor to be brutally, awfully, harshly honest with us. None of the doctors we dealt with had the courage to do it. And of course, to some extent, my denial is my own responsibility. The only fault that can attach to the doctors is the fault of not giving us information clearly. So, nowadays, when I deal with entrepreneurs, I try to be as honest with them as I wish the doctors had been with me. It's a gift to be that honest. If the entrepreneurs want to call me negative, then perhaps they don't deserve the gift that I'm trying to give. But I try to behave the way I wanted the doctors to behave: brutally, awfully, harshly honest.