I'm pretty sure it's possible. My best sports coach was demanding and direct, but never insulting or abusive. It's not about niceness, per se. It's about speaki

I'm pretty sure it's possible. My best sports coach was demanding and direct, but never insulting or abusive. It's not about niceness, per se. It's about speaking honestly to the objective aspects work while always valuing the person. You can be emotional and mad, just don't take it out on people, and if you lose it, own up to it. Another example. My old CTO had a frank conversation with me about my management style. I cried because I knew I wasn't doing the kind of job I wanted to do. He never said a single word to me that was abusive or out of line. I didn't agree with every word he said, but I took his constructive criticism to heart. You don't have to be an asshole to have a tough conversation with people. Reading this thread, it's so frustrating that people seem to think the two things are the same.