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> Taking into account all the abuse she had to take from them, and their lazy and useless way of life, they're not getting a penny from me. Then why are you pl
by liftbigweights 8y ago
> Taking into account all the abuse she had to take from them, and their lazy and useless way of life, they're not getting a penny from me.
Then why are you planning to marry "into the family" if you have such a low opinion of them?
> Many people though feel powerless to resist and ruin themselves financially by paying it.
If $10K is going to ruin you financially, you shouldn't be marrying anyone. Not that I agree with the dowry custom, but $10K isn't that much money.
Just because you are lonely or feel like the girl you have is the only one you could get isn't reason to get married. Despite what you think now, parents/siblings/family matter. Money matters. And the longer you are married, the more important family and money becomes. Don't get married out of naivety or desperation.
- cm2012 8y agoYou can marry someone and not marry their family. My korean wife and I both know her family is an abusive horror show and have subsequently cut them off.
- logicchains 8y agoI know a mainland Chinese person who completely cut off his own parents after they kept treating his wife poorly, a couple of decades ago when the country was much less developed. Culture is no excuse; a just person (for lack of a better word) is not going to tolerate their parents mistreating their partner, regardless of where they're born. People who accept terrible behaviour from family just because they're family only encourage them to continue such bad behaviour; terrible parents won't stop being terrible parents if they don't face any consequences. The Chinese language even has a rude word for someone who slavishly obeys their parents, "走狗", literally meaning "running dog".