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Genuine question: how is it possible to invite 1200 people? I can't imagine that you and your partner know 600 people each, I'd have a hard time finding 100 peo

Genuine question: how is it possible to invite 1200 people? I can't imagine that you and your partner know 600 people each, I'd have a hard time finding 100 people to invite if I needed too

throw930336 8y ago
In Chinese weddings, when you invite your friends, you also invite their relatives and families as well. It can definitely add up. And it's not just you inviting people, but your parents and their parents. It's not uncommon to actually not know 2/3s of the people at your wedding. The best part however is that each guest will give you a "red envelope" of money. It's basically the wedding gift. The more people you invite, the more money you can possibly make (even after the expenses of the wedding). This money is then used for the new coupe to start their family.
- rahimnathwani 8y ago
  I was chatting with a retired couple. They told me that wedding red envelopes are the majority of their monthly expenditure. They're at the age where all their friends' kids are getting married. (They don't live in the capital, so I guess their rent is cheap or they own their apartment.)
lotsofpulp 8y ago
It’s not so important about who the groom and bride knows, it’s more about everyone the groom and bride’s parents and grandparents know also. It’s more of a “bring the whole tribe together” affair, but only makes sense in villages when food and labor was cheap. But that was within the grandparents’ and parents’ lifetimes so it still lingers around, only now it’s a status symbol to show how well you’ve made it, and of course, some (most?) people choose to over extend themselves and choose to show off to the tribe rather than invest in their own future. Especially since the “tribe” is further and further away from the original rural villages which were geographically next to each other. The new tribes are split along educational and wealth boundaries, so anyone who thinks wasting money entertaining the tribe will help keep them in it is sorely mistaken.
murukesh_s 8y ago
Oh easy, I just attended a wedding reception where over 2500 were invited. It was one of the biggest I have seen but 1000 is normal. My father had 10 siblings and my mother 6. You got to invite all their relatives, kids and your own friends, you can easily cross 1000. I guess its the huge population in India and China.
- yostrovs 8y ago
  Attending weddings must be a frequent activity if you get invited when anyone within 3 or more degrees of separation is getting married. Really, how often does an average Indian attend weddings? Are expensive gifts expected?
  - murukesh_s 8y ago
    Yes it is. Also for Hindus it's based on seasons(Auspicious months). During season period there could be 4-5 or more marriages a month, sometimes 2-3 happening on the same day. For distant relatives no gift is expected, but people do give cash(1000rs avg). For close relatives it's mostly gold. You are supposed to return equal or more than you received for your sons/daughters marriage. It can average 8gms of 22k gold (cost upto 30000rs) which is not a small amount. Also all of these varies between states, religions and caste. For e.g no one expects dowry in West Bengal while in neighbouring state you are expected to give hefty dowries.
    - forkLding 8y ago
      Chinese choose auspicious monthes and days too although nowadays I don't think people care as much but I think some still do who want to have a bit of tradition.
  - matz1 8y ago
    I'm not indian but before moving to usa, attending wedding is one of the common weekend activities.
hesarenu 8y ago
I am been involved in 4 marriages including myself where the total guest list neared 600. You would need to invite your siblings families if they are married. Then your father's and mother's family. Their extended family. Your grandfather grandmother's family. Their extended family. Your neighbors, office guys, friends. Both groom and bride and you would have a number near to 600.
chrisseaton 8y ago
In many cultures (including western ones, like the UK) the wedding is a party thrown by the parents of the bride, not by the couple. So the parents of the bride will invite all their friends, as well as the couple's friends. The older parents will have a much larger social circle, due to being older.
deleted 8y ago
[deleted]
puranjay 8y ago
I had just about 10 friends. Wife had the same number. My father in law has lived all his life in the same city. Has a lot of friends, acquaintances, and relatives. Inviting them to the wedding becomes a social compulsion in such cases. Indian weddings are strange in that the bride and groom hardly matter. It's essentially an event hosted by their parents. Trying to get my parents to back down from a big wedding was a futile exercise as well. For them, it was a matter of "shame" if they couldn't host a large wedding

Genuine question: how is it possible to invite 1200 people? I can't imagine that you and your partner know 600 people each, I'd have a hard time finding 100 people to invite if I needed too

throw930336 8y ago

In Chinese weddings, when you invite your friends, you also invite their relatives and families as well. It can definitely add up. And it's not just you inviting people, but your parents and their parents. It's not uncommon to actually not know 2/3s of the people at your wedding. The best part however is that each guest will give you a "red envelope" of money. It's basically the wedding gift. The more people you invite, the more money you can possibly make (even after the expenses of the wedding). This money is then used for the new coupe to start their family.

rahimnathwani 8y ago
I was chatting with a retired couple. They told me that wedding red envelopes are the majority of their monthly expenditure. They're at the age where all their friends' kids are getting married. (They don't live in the capital, so I guess their rent is cheap or they own their apartment.)

lotsofpulp 8y ago

It’s not so important about who the groom and bride knows, it’s more about everyone the groom and bride’s parents and grandparents know also. It’s more of a “bring the whole tribe together” affair, but only makes sense in villages when food and labor was cheap. But that was within the grandparents’ and parents’ lifetimes so it still lingers around, only now it’s a status symbol to show how well you’ve made it, and of course, some (most?) people choose to over extend themselves and choose to show off to the tribe rather than invest in their own future. Especially since the “tribe” is further and further away from the original rural villages which were geographically next to each other. The new tribes are split along educational and wealth boundaries, so anyone who thinks wasting money entertaining the tribe will help keep them in it is sorely mistaken.

murukesh_s 8y ago

Oh easy, I just attended a wedding reception where over 2500 were invited. It was one of the biggest I have seen but 1000 is normal. My father had 10 siblings and my mother 6. You got to invite all their relatives, kids and your own friends, you can easily cross 1000. I guess its the huge population in India and China.

yostrovs 8y ago
Attending weddings must be a frequent activity if you get invited when anyone within 3 or more degrees of separation is getting married. Really, how often does an average Indian attend weddings? Are expensive gifts expected?
- murukesh_s 8y ago
  Yes it is. Also for Hindus it's based on seasons(Auspicious months). During season period there could be 4-5 or more marriages a month, sometimes 2-3 happening on the same day. For distant relatives no gift is expected, but people do give cash(1000rs avg). For close relatives it's mostly gold. You are supposed to return equal or more than you received for your sons/daughters marriage. It can average 8gms of 22k gold (cost upto 30000rs) which is not a small amount. Also all of these varies between states, religions and caste. For e.g no one expects dowry in West Bengal while in neighbouring state you are expected to give hefty dowries.
  - forkLding 8y ago
    Chinese choose auspicious monthes and days too although nowadays I don't think people care as much but I think some still do who want to have a bit of tradition.
- matz1 8y ago
  I'm not indian but before moving to usa, attending wedding is one of the common weekend activities.

hesarenu 8y ago

I am been involved in 4 marriages including myself where the total guest list neared 600. You would need to invite your siblings families if they are married. Then your father's and mother's family. Their extended family. Your grandfather grandmother's family. Their extended family. Your neighbors, office guys, friends. Both groom and bride and you would have a number near to 600.

chrisseaton 8y ago

In many cultures (including western ones, like the UK) the wedding is a party thrown by the parents of the bride, not by the couple. So the parents of the bride will invite all their friends, as well as the couple's friends. The older parents will have a much larger social circle, due to being older.

deleted 8y ago

[deleted]

puranjay 8y ago

I had just about 10 friends. Wife had the same number. My father in law has lived all his life in the same city. Has a lot of friends, acquaintances, and relatives. Inviting them to the wedding becomes a social compulsion in such cases. Indian weddings are strange in that the bride and groom hardly matter. It's essentially an event hosted by their parents. Trying to get my parents to back down from a big wedding was a futile exercise as well. For them, it was a matter of "shame" if they couldn't host a large wedding