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> If you ask me, "faking it" is really just as good as "actually" being a more helpful or empathetic person. It is important to make the distinction between th

> If you ask me, "faking it" is really just as good as "actually" being a more helpful or empathetic person. It is important to make the distinction between this and what Linus actually said, which was "fake it *until I make it" (emphasis added). The latter is essentially practice or exercise to develop empathy. The former is essentially how high-functioning psychopaths work. > Let's say my brother calls me up on a Saturday morning. He needs help moving some furniture. Do I really feel like doing that? Fuuuuuuuuuck no. Will I say "yes" anyway? Probably, because even though I'd rather play tennis or sleep or play video games I want to help him. So I will consciously expend the effort to go do the good thing for him. > Am I being "actually" good there or am I just "faking it"? I don't really think there's a difference. Nobody really wants to spend a day off moving furniture for free. You haven't really made a comparison here, because you just say, "I want to help him." What is your motivation? You can definitely help him without having any empathy for him at all. Empathy doesn't mean "being nice" or "being helpful". It means understanding, feeling, or experiencing the feelings of others. Being an empathetic person is largely orthogonal to being nice. It can help you be nice, because you understand how people feel. It can also help you be a huge asshole, because you understand how to really hurt people.

personjerry 8y ago
In this case, what's wrong with being a high-functioning psychopath?
JohnBooty 8y ago
> It is important to make the distinction between this and what Linus actually said, which was "fake it *until I make it" (emphasis added). The latter is essentially practice or exercise to develop empathy. The former is essentially how high-functioning psychopaths work. Wow. Psychopathy is not a formally recognized or defined term, so it's hard to talk about without being completely sidetracked by trying to define it. While it's certainly possible to exercise all of the things we're talking about (empathy, kindness, etc) for nefarious purposes ("I'm going to figure out Mrs. Smith's feelings and try to understand them... so that I can get close to her and con her out of her life's savings!") I really don't think that's what we're talking about here. > You haven't really made a comparison here, because you just say, "I want to help him." What is your motivation? You can definitely help him without having any empathy for him at all. I'm saying they're the same thing. If you want to contrast them because you want to convince me that they're different, sure! Go ahead! That's your job. > Empathy doesn't mean "being nice" or "being helpful". Sure, absolutely. That's why I consistently mentioned them as being distinct things, ie "helpful OR empathetic." Seems like we're on the same page for this one.

personjerry 8y ago

In this case, what's wrong with being a high-functioning psychopath?

JohnBooty 8y ago

> It is important to make the distinction between this and what Linus actually said, which was "fake it *until I make it" (emphasis added). The latter is essentially practice or exercise to develop empathy. The former is essentially how high-functioning psychopaths work. Wow. Psychopathy is not a formally recognized or defined term, so it's hard to talk about without being completely sidetracked by trying to define it. While it's certainly possible to exercise all of the things we're talking about (empathy, kindness, etc) for nefarious purposes ("I'm going to figure out Mrs. Smith's feelings and try to understand them... so that I can get close to her and con her out of her life's savings!") I really don't think that's what we're talking about here. > You haven't really made a comparison here, because you just say, "I want to help him." What is your motivation? You can definitely help him without having any empathy for him at all. I'm saying they're the same thing. If you want to contrast them because you want to convince me that they're different, sure! Go ahead! That's your job. > Empathy doesn't mean "being nice" or "being helpful". Sure, absolutely. That's why I consistently mentioned them as being distinct things, ie "helpful OR empathetic." Seems like we're on the same page for this one.