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Is it better to train myself to not be affected with insult ? If some one say to me "No, you stupid pile of sheet, I won't merge this pull request because of X,

• eropple 8y ago
  No, it's not. It is better to respond coolly to assholish behavior. But it is not better to allow it to remain unchallenged. Not challenging assholish behavior means that it becomes a community norm and is then incumbent upon everybody else to "train" themselves, as you say, to ignore the behavior of a minority of assholes. It hands the responsibility of defining what the culture is to those assholes. Letting the assholes normalize the culture is bad. It decreases uptake. It increases, even if people "train" themselves, the likelihood of burnout and of departure. And it makes the world, even if incrementally, a worse place.
  • matz1 8y ago
    Isn't is easier to change one person namely myself, rather than try to change one other person, let alone many? The culture and the world always evolving and changing, it can be worse or better or whatever, most importantly for me is how can I make myself adapt to the every situation and make the best of it.
    • eropple 8y ago
      I don't care about "easier" and I don't think you should either. Why would "easier" be even on the radar? "Changing yourself" and letting rot fester is of little value to anyone. Be so mildly discomforted as to push back on other people's nasty behaviors and you make the world a better place. Do what is right.
      • matz1 8y ago
        Because is practical, obviously changing myself to adapt to every situation has value for me, it makes a world a better place for me. what is right is relative, this is what I think Right.
• eeZah7Ux 8y ago
  It's unlikely that someone can be impervious to all and every type of insult and at any point in your life, as long as you are human. In some cultures e.g. Japanese, being publicly accused and insulted is worse than insulting - it's a mark of shame that doesn't go away. Unfortunately people simply can't rewire their brain, especially as adults, and that's why good manners exist.
  • matz1 8y ago
    > It's unlikely that someone can be impervious to all and every type of insult and at any point in your life, as long as you are human Sure, but I can always make the effort and try >Unfortunately people simply can't rewire their brain, especially as adults I think It works both way. Some asshole can't simply be not asshole.
    • eropple 8y ago
      Everyone, modulo the pathologically mentally ill who require at least some level of direct and personal care (and who, frankly, are such a vanishingly tiny minority that optimizing for that case is silly), can choose to not be an asshole. Someone's ingrained bad habits may make this harder. Tough. It's a choice; make it.
• s73v3r_ 8y ago
  No, because you're never going to do that, and in trying, you're probably going to cause yourself to send out more insults to others. You're also going to normalize a culture of calling everyone a "stupid pile of sheet" or worse when something goes wrong, which leads to a pretty unwelcoming and hostile atmosphere.
  • matz1 8y ago
    These days there is hardly any insult that can negatively affect me. I found it can be useful skill to have.