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This guy I think is coming from the angle that if the time with others is not beneficial to you, then there are better ways to spend that time. I think if you

by TGJ 16y ago

This guy I think is coming from the angle that if the time with others is not beneficial to you, then there are better ways to spend that time. I think if you look at what you think is your other times, you'll find that those times have benefits for you and as such belong to you. If you think those times belong to someone else, you are living your life in the wrong way. This is what I think he meant.

Timmy_C 16y ago
I've heard this opinion before and it really bothers me. It starts to turn relationships into business deals or transactions. I feel like that is a really selfish way of looking at the world. It shouldn't be about what you can get from others but rather what you have to give.
- TGJ 16y ago
  Everything is a transaction at the simplest level. You have friends because it makes you feel good. You wouldn't keep them if it made you feel bad would you? You give because you think it's right and when you do something right, it makes you feel good. I do agree with you that everything would be so much better if everyone went around giving but in this world not everyone does. Since some cheat, the fairest is to deal in transactions. Or my favorite thought of the day. If I have but one life to live, why not live for me?
  - Psyonic 16y ago
    What about children? You wouldn't keep them around if they're making you feel bad? 8 year old's acting up, send him off to the shelter?
    - TGJ 16y ago
      In the short term, people get divorces and bail all the time do they not? In the long term, I made a commitment to myself by procreating, that I would take care of the resulting child. My own honor, which feels good to uphold, keeps me with the child.
      - Psyonic 16y ago
        As for the short term, yes, people do this. No, it's not something I would encourage. Bailing on your spouse is one thing, but bailing on your children is worse. As far as the long term goes, I understand where you're coming from. It's a bit of a semantic game, as it's not too hard to argue that altruism is impossible and everything is ultimately done for yourself. That said, I think we differ here. I don't find the argument that everyone is equally selfish (only with different wants) compelling. It gets complicated from here, though. You have to ask where these wants come from. Why does one person want the warmth of the needle, versus another wanting to change her child's diaper. Perhaps the ultimate selfless act is subjugating your wants in the first place, though I imagine you could argue this is also a selfish act. It could probably go on like this forever, but at some point you realize some people's circle of concern is bigger than themselves, and there must be something to this.
        TGJ 16y ago
        I think you are right that it does go on like that forever but I think the reason for that is in the end, everything is selfish. But. It's not bad to be selfish. The reason it loops is because you accept that being selfish is ok, you struggle with the idea and come up with more examples. Once it's accepted, you can simply move on and do more. For instance, I can be selfish all I want but eventually, I cannot do everything myself. I will need other people to help me out in life. It's not selfish in the sense of what you learn in pre-school, it's self preservation.
        Psyonic 16y ago
        What about self-sacrifice? Giving your life to save others?
        TGJ 16y ago
        It's still the same. You think it's the right thing to do to see everyone else better off and that's great. I'm glad for ya. I think the better question would be, what about the person that does not want to give their life for others? How will you judge them? As far as I see it, it does no good to give my life for others if I'm not going to be around to enjoy it. There's only one life to live right?

by TGJ 16y ago

Timmy_C 16y ago

I've heard this opinion before and it really bothers me. It starts to turn relationships into business deals or transactions. I feel like that is a really selfish way of looking at the world. It shouldn't be about what you can get from others but rather what you have to give.

TGJ 16y ago
Everything is a transaction at the simplest level. You have friends because it makes you feel good. You wouldn't keep them if it made you feel bad would you? You give because you think it's right and when you do something right, it makes you feel good. I do agree with you that everything would be so much better if everyone went around giving but in this world not everyone does. Since some cheat, the fairest is to deal in transactions. Or my favorite thought of the day. If I have but one life to live, why not live for me?
- Psyonic 16y ago
  What about children? You wouldn't keep them around if they're making you feel bad? 8 year old's acting up, send him off to the shelter?
  - TGJ 16y ago
    In the short term, people get divorces and bail all the time do they not? In the long term, I made a commitment to myself by procreating, that I would take care of the resulting child. My own honor, which feels good to uphold, keeps me with the child.
    - Psyonic 16y ago
      As for the short term, yes, people do this. No, it's not something I would encourage. Bailing on your spouse is one thing, but bailing on your children is worse. As far as the long term goes, I understand where you're coming from. It's a bit of a semantic game, as it's not too hard to argue that altruism is impossible and everything is ultimately done for yourself. That said, I think we differ here. I don't find the argument that everyone is equally selfish (only with different wants) compelling. It gets complicated from here, though. You have to ask where these wants come from. Why does one person want the warmth of the needle, versus another wanting to change her child's diaper. Perhaps the ultimate selfless act is subjugating your wants in the first place, though I imagine you could argue this is also a selfish act. It could probably go on like this forever, but at some point you realize some people's circle of concern is bigger than themselves, and there must be something to this.
      - TGJ 16y ago
        I think you are right that it does go on like that forever but I think the reason for that is in the end, everything is selfish. But. It's not bad to be selfish. The reason it loops is because you accept that being selfish is ok, you struggle with the idea and come up with more examples. Once it's accepted, you can simply move on and do more. For instance, I can be selfish all I want but eventually, I cannot do everything myself. I will need other people to help me out in life. It's not selfish in the sense of what you learn in pre-school, it's self preservation.
        Psyonic 16y ago
        What about self-sacrifice? Giving your life to save others?
        TGJ 16y ago
        It's still the same. You think it's the right thing to do to see everyone else better off and that's great. I'm glad for ya. I think the better question would be, what about the person that does not want to give their life for others? How will you judge them? As far as I see it, it does no good to give my life for others if I'm not going to be around to enjoy it. There's only one life to live right?