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This is twofold, subject matter and personality. In the former, I've had to excuse myself from conversations because mentioning something I thought was innocuo

This is twofold, subject matter and personality. In the former, I've had to excuse myself from conversations because mentioning something I thought was innocuous (e.g. paintball) is apparently unacceptable conversation via being "non-inclusive". In the latter, I can be a brusque individual. I was never particularly aware of this as a problem back east, other people acted similarly and people generally took each other in good faith. I've definitely had to soften myself and learn to be more perceptive of subtle social signals since I moved out here. (In my "grocery store" example, if someone talked to me back east I'd probably give them a funny look, a very terse answer, and try to end the conversation ASAP) broadly I have to smile a lot more, use lots of hedging/less strong speech, not be direct/give contentious topics a wide berth etc to avoid misunderstandings. Driving comes in many forms, but some examples are: You'll regularly have people sitting in the middle lane of a highway _stopped_ waiting to merge into a slowly moving merge lane. Back east you'd have likely been rear ended by an 18 wheeler if you tried that. (same for merging onto a highway). Hard-stopping at yellows is something else I've had to be aware of out here.

poulsbohemian 8y ago
> I've had to excuse myself from conversations because mentioning something I thought was innocuous (e.g. paintball) is apparently unacceptable conversation via being "non-inclusive". You might have first experienced this in the Seattle area, but it is by no means unique geographically. This kind of personality that wants to be offended by everything and everyone is proliferating everywhere. >if someone talked to me back east I'd probably give them a funny look, a very terse answer, and try to end the conversation ASAP This sounds a lot like the Seattle Freeze, which has been a long-standing reality. I guess I'm (pleasantly) surprised by your approach of smiling more and seeking to talk to people. Keep it up, it's something we've needed in Seattle for a long time. As Microsoft / Adobe / whoever else was here in the 80's and 90s money rolled in, Seattle started a cultural shift. I went away to the midwest for college between 1996-2000 and never quite adapted to the shifts. Today I'm there a week out of the month or so and I don't even recognize it; it's not the city I grew up in, in any form.

poulsbohemian 8y ago

> I've had to excuse myself from conversations because mentioning something I thought was innocuous (e.g. paintball) is apparently unacceptable conversation via being "non-inclusive". You might have first experienced this in the Seattle area, but it is by no means unique geographically. This kind of personality that wants to be offended by everything and everyone is proliferating everywhere. >if someone talked to me back east I'd probably give them a funny look, a very terse answer, and try to end the conversation ASAP This sounds a lot like the Seattle Freeze, which has been a long-standing reality. I guess I'm (pleasantly) surprised by your approach of smiling more and seeking to talk to people. Keep it up, it's something we've needed in Seattle for a long time. As Microsoft / Adobe / whoever else was here in the 80's and 90s money rolled in, Seattle started a cultural shift. I went away to the midwest for college between 1996-2000 and never quite adapted to the shifts. Today I'm there a week out of the month or so and I don't even recognize it; it's not the city I grew up in, in any form.