I also have extensive experience with chronic abuse. I would argue strongly that abusers do not love those they harm. Abuse is not an expression of love. If yo

I also have extensive experience with chronic abuse. I would argue strongly that abusers do not love those they harm. Abuse is not an expression of love. If you want to argue that abusers think they are loving those they harm, perhaps because they don't know any better, perhaps because they themselves received abuse disguised as "love" during their formative years, then I could agree with that. But love doesn't cause harm to people. Full stop. Not even "tough love". In my experience it has actually been quite liberating to realize that AbuserX does not and did not love me. It's really confusing to be in this middle ground where I think they love me and yet they continue to deliberately harm me. This leads to a very twisted version of love that exposes one to more dysfunctional, abusive relationships that repeat the original cycle. Break the cycle. Repeat after me. If somebody is abusing you, it's not love.