Only half those comments were about phones, so even if those posters would make an exception to their stated animation preference in the case of page-down, "lit

Only half those comments were about phones, so even if those posters would make an exception to their stated animation preference in the case of page-down, "literally nobody" is false. If wanting low-latency scrolling is "sad and weird", why does Mozilla expose this option in Firefox's main Preferences page? They have no compunctions moving genuinely rare preferences to about:config or removing them altogether.