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I understand the frustration with egregious non-apologies. Many of those cases are not accidents; they are passive aggressive double downs. But if an apology h

I understand the frustration with egregious non-apologies. Many of those cases are not accidents; they are passive aggressive double downs. But if an apology has even a shred of sincerity in it, I don't believe snarky critique is at all appropriate in any way. Saying "You apologized wrong" to someone who is trying to take positive steps is counterproductive, mean-spirited, and extremely poor etiquette.

myWindoonn 8y ago
Think carefully. Is there anybody who you have known who has wronged you or those you care about in such a way that, even if they were to apologize to you, you might not accept the apology if it failed to move you? Sure, the folks quoted in the article might be irritating in tone, but the concept is not without considerability.
- darkerside 8y ago
  No. If I'm ready to forgive someone I do it. If I'm not, I don't. I'm not going to put someone through some stupid kind of eloquence litmus test when I decide whether to accept their apology.
  - acct1771 8y ago
    Not even...say..looking you in the eyes? If so, that's weak, man.
    - darkerside 8y ago
      What's weak is being swayed that someone is deserving of forgiveness by their words if I don't feel that in my heart. Sorry if that was sarcasm.
Ws32ok 8y ago
I'm not sure an apology for murdering my family would be heard without a lot of anger and resentment. Other concepts such as revenge, retribution and other sentiments would likely also come to into play regardless of sincerity. You make a good point about the snarky critique though. Having looked through a few of the dead comments on this post, a lot of people are very rigid about sensitivity training. There are a lot of parallels with SJW causes in how this is being approached. (I am not equating those parallels with the validity of sensitivity training, only the rabid nature of the defence against criticism thereof I have seen).
- darkerside 8y ago
  Yeah, and the proper response to that killer is not, "you apologized incorrectly". It's just completely irrelevant. The later half of my post assumed you are ready to forgive.
  - Ws32ok 8y ago
    The Amish have industrial strength belief in the power of forgiveness. The mind boggles at the power of their belief. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/oct/02/amish-shooting-10-year-anniversary-pennsylvania-the-happening https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/oct/02/amish-shooti...

myWindoonn 8y ago

Think carefully. Is there anybody who you have known who has wronged you or those you care about in such a way that, even if they were to apologize to you, you might not accept the apology if it failed to move you? Sure, the folks quoted in the article might be irritating in tone, but the concept is not without considerability.

darkerside 8y ago
No. If I'm ready to forgive someone I do it. If I'm not, I don't. I'm not going to put someone through some stupid kind of eloquence litmus test when I decide whether to accept their apology.
- acct1771 8y ago
  Not even...say..looking you in the eyes? If so, that's weak, man.
  - darkerside 8y ago
    What's weak is being swayed that someone is deserving of forgiveness by their words if I don't feel that in my heart. Sorry if that was sarcasm.

Ws32ok 8y ago

I'm not sure an apology for murdering my family would be heard without a lot of anger and resentment. Other concepts such as revenge, retribution and other sentiments would likely also come to into play regardless of sincerity. You make a good point about the snarky critique though. Having looked through a few of the dead comments on this post, a lot of people are very rigid about sensitivity training. There are a lot of parallels with SJW causes in how this is being approached. (I am not equating those parallels with the validity of sensitivity training, only the rabid nature of the defence against criticism thereof I have seen).

darkerside 8y ago
Yeah, and the proper response to that killer is not, "you apologized incorrectly". It's just completely irrelevant. The later half of my post assumed you are ready to forgive.
- Ws32ok 8y ago
  The Amish have industrial strength belief in the power of forgiveness. The mind boggles at the power of their belief. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/oct/02/amish-shooting-10-year-anniversary-pennsylvania-the-happening https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/oct/02/amish-shooti...