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“My body just didn’t seem relevant anymore," says Iona. "And I felt like I arrived in some consciousness soup which seemed like a different realm to t

“My body just didn’t seem relevant anymore," says Iona. "And I felt like I arrived in some consciousness soup which seemed like a different realm to the one I ordinarily inhabit – even in dreams. It just seemed like everything was rotating and swirling and spiralling. It didn’t seem like there were normal space-time proportions going on.” I'm not exactly sure how close I came to dying, but I had the exact opposite experience in the ER one night. I had a bout of acute pericarditis, a swelling of the sac that protects the heart, essentially preventing it from beating. Usually it's a milder chronic condition but for whatever reason (freak infection?) I had an intense acute attack one night. It presented almost exactly like a heart attack which is why I rushed to the ER. We got there just in time. My lips were turning blue and I was drenched in sweat, semiconscious as I was wheeled back to the ER. Heart rate plummeting, etc. So anyway I was hyper attuned to my body as the doctors worked on me. I was terrified and didn't want to die so for a lack of any other options whatsoever in my barely conscious state I became profoundly aware of my breathing. I could feel that I perhaps going to die, and didn't want that to happen, so I just focused on being the best damn breather the world had ever seen. I figured whatever the hell was happening...well, I was alive as long as I was breathing, and the more oxygen I could suck into my body the better. I have never, ever felt more connected to my body than in those moments. Think about times you've been asked to focus on your breathing during yoga, meditation, etc. Like that, except times ten or twenty or a billion or something. After some completely amorphous amount of time during which they worked feverishly, the doctors gave me a jab of atropine and I was more or less instantly OK, hilariously enough.

deleted 8y ago
[deleted]
Stratoscope 8y ago
Mobile-readable quote: > “My body just didn’t seem relevant anymore," says Iona. "And I felt like I arrived in some consciousness soup which seemed like a different realm to the one I ordinarily inhabit – even in dreams. It just seemed like everything was rotating and swirling and spiralling. It didn’t seem like there were normal space-time proportions going on.”
- obituary_latte 8y ago
  Thanks. I don’t get why hn mobile version doesn’t take this into account. Should be just a single simple css rule...
  - mort96 8y ago
    It's because people often quote things by putting a number of spaces between the text on each line, but hacker news interprets that as a code block, not as a quote. It's reasonable to not wrap code blocks; the real problem is that HN doesn't have formatting options for quotes.
    - rando444 8y ago
      > "the real problem is that HN doesn't have formatting options for quotes." I always format my quotes the same way Stratoscope just did and think it's reasonably obvious to tell that it's a quote.
itronitron 8y ago
I would say that you were very much alive, and in the moment :) ... reminds me of one of Laurie Anderson's monologues where she describes being carried down off a mountain by a fellow hiker because she was about to die (from altitude sickness I think), and the hiker told her stories the whole way down in order to give her something to focus on...
colordrops 8y ago
I had a similar experience from a bad trip on acid. I felt like I had had a stroke while trying to leave my body, and got pulled hard back into the physical realm. All I could feel was my flesh, tongue, teeth, skin, breath, heartbeat, etc. Everything was physical machinery, and had lost all meaning and purpose. It was the most horrific experience I've ever went through by far.
- chunkyslink 8y ago
  I'm not sure that was very good acid.
- lostmsu 8y ago
  Are you talking about the comment, or the article? Your description does not sound anything like what the comment says.
FlyingAvatar 8y ago
I think there's a difference between dying and being OK with it and the opposite. I would hope when I get to the point that I am actually dying, I could feel a little more like the quote than you did when you were dying, which sounds terrifying. :)
shlant 8y ago
what you're describing sounds exactly like an anxiety/panic attack (I dealt with them for years). You become hyper aware of your body and every sensation. As another reply pointed out, this is one of the two main paths that intense experiences can go down. I have had psychedelic experiences that were just magnified panic attacks and similar to what you described. That is one path, and usually comes about from resisting the experience. The other path is relaxing into the void/ego death/<insert descriptor here> and going with the flow. This will normally result in what the quote describes. This is why it is always concerning for me when people recommend psychedelics to anyone without knowing what kind of person they are/what state they are in. For trips, context and intention is EVERYTHING. If you are able to relax in the face of uncertainty and trust the experience, then you can have life changing experiences. If you are in a bad state of mind or if your life is in disarray, that will be magnified and you can also have life changing experiences, but not in a good way (I didn't face major anxiety before a bad mushroom trip). Psychedelic experiences are built upon the psyche of the person experiencing them, so people can have exact opposite experiences taking the same dose of the same substance depending on their state of mind.
thelasthuman 8y ago
Wow something I can contribute to! In my early 20's, my obsession was eastern spirituality. I was especially drawn towards taoism and read several books on it. In one of the books (written by a Westerner) there was entire chapters dedicated to breathing exercises. Taoists believe the spirit and the body meet at your breath because it is simultaneously a voluntary and involuntary process. Focus on your breathing now, you can control it. But just a minute ago, your body was doing it for you with no input from you.

deleted 8y ago

[deleted]

Stratoscope 8y ago

Mobile-readable quote: > “My body just didn’t seem relevant anymore," says Iona. "And I felt like I arrived in some consciousness soup which seemed like a different realm to the one I ordinarily inhabit – even in dreams. It just seemed like everything was rotating and swirling and spiralling. It didn’t seem like there were normal space-time proportions going on.”

obituary_latte 8y ago
Thanks. I don’t get why hn mobile version doesn’t take this into account. Should be just a single simple css rule...
- mort96 8y ago
  It's because people often quote things by putting a number of spaces between the text on each line, but hacker news interprets that as a code block, not as a quote. It's reasonable to not wrap code blocks; the real problem is that HN doesn't have formatting options for quotes.
  - rando444 8y ago
    > "the real problem is that HN doesn't have formatting options for quotes." I always format my quotes the same way Stratoscope just did and think it's reasonably obvious to tell that it's a quote.

itronitron 8y ago

I would say that you were very much alive, and in the moment :) ... reminds me of one of Laurie Anderson's monologues where she describes being carried down off a mountain by a fellow hiker because she was about to die (from altitude sickness I think), and the hiker told her stories the whole way down in order to give her something to focus on...

colordrops 8y ago

I had a similar experience from a bad trip on acid. I felt like I had had a stroke while trying to leave my body, and got pulled hard back into the physical realm. All I could feel was my flesh, tongue, teeth, skin, breath, heartbeat, etc. Everything was physical machinery, and had lost all meaning and purpose. It was the most horrific experience I've ever went through by far.

chunkyslink 8y ago
I'm not sure that was very good acid.
lostmsu 8y ago
Are you talking about the comment, or the article? Your description does not sound anything like what the comment says.

FlyingAvatar 8y ago

I think there's a difference between dying and being OK with it and the opposite. I would hope when I get to the point that I am actually dying, I could feel a little more like the quote than you did when you were dying, which sounds terrifying. :)

shlant 8y ago

what you're describing sounds exactly like an anxiety/panic attack (I dealt with them for years). You become hyper aware of your body and every sensation. As another reply pointed out, this is one of the two main paths that intense experiences can go down. I have had psychedelic experiences that were just magnified panic attacks and similar to what you described. That is one path, and usually comes about from resisting the experience. The other path is relaxing into the void/ego death/<insert descriptor here> and going with the flow. This will normally result in what the quote describes. This is why it is always concerning for me when people recommend psychedelics to anyone without knowing what kind of person they are/what state they are in. For trips, context and intention is EVERYTHING. If you are able to relax in the face of uncertainty and trust the experience, then you can have life changing experiences. If you are in a bad state of mind or if your life is in disarray, that will be magnified and you can also have life changing experiences, but not in a good way (I didn't face major anxiety before a bad mushroom trip). Psychedelic experiences are built upon the psyche of the person experiencing them, so people can have exact opposite experiences taking the same dose of the same substance depending on their state of mind.

thelasthuman 8y ago

Wow something I can contribute to! In my early 20's, my obsession was eastern spirituality. I was especially drawn towards taoism and read several books on it. In one of the books (written by a Westerner) there was entire chapters dedicated to breathing exercises. Taoists believe the spirit and the body meet at your breath because it is simultaneously a voluntary and involuntary process. Focus on your breathing now, you can control it. But just a minute ago, your body was doing it for you with no input from you.