3 ms·

> You can also not take it personally I cant. Malfunction of the executive functions make it pretty hard to relativize it. Initially I am gonna think, wow, tha

> You can also not take it personally I cant. Malfunction of the executive functions make it pretty hard to relativize it. Initially I am gonna think, wow, thanks, I guess my eyes do suck, and so do I. Usually people would try to think about it again and be able to relativize it "wait, why did he say that? wow, what an asshole thing to say". But I get stuck in that "I guess you're right" feeling. > Go ahead and "take the bait." This is very hard to do, but I am working on it. Its not easy to overcome a childhood trauma though, and trust people again. It took me about half a year to finally open up to my therapist. Learning to trust again, and let yourself be vulnerable is terrible hard after learning for 10 years that its the wrong thing to do, you cant "just do it" I didnt mean to give any unsolicited advice, apologies

DoreenMichele 8y ago
I didn't mean you. You don't owe me an apology. I know some things that might help, but I'm leery of posting them because that makes me the one giving unsolicited advice, a thing I'm already guilty of here. Take care.
- thecatspaw 8y ago
  I'd be happy to hear it. You too
  - DoreenMichele 8y ago
    I have two special needs sons and I've done all kinds of therapy and what not. So kind of randomly: Nutritional supplements actually have a better track record than drugs for dealing with things like ADHD. If you can pinpoint the things that you need for your brain, you can see real improvement over time. B vitamins, high quality salt, the right fats and certain minerals, like magnesium and calcium, are likely candidates. Start a journal. Try one and only one new thing at a time to see what it does. Don't buy multi vitamins. Get individual supplements and make sure they are bioavailable. Mold problems at home, work or anyplace you spend a lot of time can have significant negative impact in mental function. Try to root out moisture issues and mold problems. Start a private journal and deconstruct what people say to you, how you feel about it and why you feel that way. Most people aren't terribly nice. The veneer of civilized behavior tends to be pretty thin. It may be more them than you. You may find your reactions aren't as irrational as you think they are. During my divorce, under circumstances where I didn't really care how things played out and a lot of men were chatting me up, I point blank asked men what they thought was attractive about me. This was incredibly eye opening because every one of them had a different answer. So my ideas about what made me attractive -- that it was X or Y specific thing -- were completely busted and it was a fantastic experience. People are attracted for reasons specific to them. It isn't really a case of "I have X trait and that is my main attraction." So if you ever have an opportunity to participate in a workshop or similar where you can get feedback from a variety of people, you might be surprised what you learn about how the world sees you. It can be a wonderful antidote to the thoughts about yourself that dominate your self image. Similarly, I did a series of self portraits in therapy and that was eye opening. Most people don't really have a clear idea of what they look like. Their idea of themselves is often something of a caricature that exaggerates specific traits and underplays others. Best.
    - jwdunne 8y ago
      Oh wow. Helpful advice. I have ADHD and recently been taken off my medication abruptly because my BP was too high. I've been struggling without it. I'll give your recommendations a try. Thank you! :)
    - circlefavshape 8y ago
      > I point blank asked men what they thought was attractive about me ... every one of them had a different answer > Most people don't really have a clear idea of what they look like Wow! I had no idea about this, that's super interesting
    - travisjungroth 8y ago
      What is high quality salt?
      - DoreenMichele 8y ago
        Not table salt. The best is Celtic Sea Salt. After that is various other brands of sea salt, Himalayan salt, kosher salt, canning and pickling salt.
        travisjungroth 8y ago
        How are these other salts better for you than table salt?
        DoreenMichele 8y ago
        Table salt has problematic additives. One of the additives is an anti-caking ingredient. It is the reason table salt pours easily. Other forms of salt tend to clump up. Sea salt also has additional micronutrients. It isn't just sodium chloride. Not necessarily a huge issue if you are perfectly healthy, but it makes a surprisingly large difference if there is anything wrong that intersects with these chemicals in some manner.

DoreenMichele 8y ago

I didn't mean you. You don't owe me an apology. I know some things that might help, but I'm leery of posting them because that makes me the one giving unsolicited advice, a thing I'm already guilty of here. Take care.

thecatspaw 8y ago
I'd be happy to hear it. You too
- DoreenMichele 8y ago
  I have two special needs sons and I've done all kinds of therapy and what not. So kind of randomly: Nutritional supplements actually have a better track record than drugs for dealing with things like ADHD. If you can pinpoint the things that you need for your brain, you can see real improvement over time. B vitamins, high quality salt, the right fats and certain minerals, like magnesium and calcium, are likely candidates. Start a journal. Try one and only one new thing at a time to see what it does. Don't buy multi vitamins. Get individual supplements and make sure they are bioavailable. Mold problems at home, work or anyplace you spend a lot of time can have significant negative impact in mental function. Try to root out moisture issues and mold problems. Start a private journal and deconstruct what people say to you, how you feel about it and why you feel that way. Most people aren't terribly nice. The veneer of civilized behavior tends to be pretty thin. It may be more them than you. You may find your reactions aren't as irrational as you think they are. During my divorce, under circumstances where I didn't really care how things played out and a lot of men were chatting me up, I point blank asked men what they thought was attractive about me. This was incredibly eye opening because every one of them had a different answer. So my ideas about what made me attractive -- that it was X or Y specific thing -- were completely busted and it was a fantastic experience. People are attracted for reasons specific to them. It isn't really a case of "I have X trait and that is my main attraction." So if you ever have an opportunity to participate in a workshop or similar where you can get feedback from a variety of people, you might be surprised what you learn about how the world sees you. It can be a wonderful antidote to the thoughts about yourself that dominate your self image. Similarly, I did a series of self portraits in therapy and that was eye opening. Most people don't really have a clear idea of what they look like. Their idea of themselves is often something of a caricature that exaggerates specific traits and underplays others. Best.
  - jwdunne 8y ago
    Oh wow. Helpful advice. I have ADHD and recently been taken off my medication abruptly because my BP was too high. I've been struggling without it. I'll give your recommendations a try. Thank you! :)
  - circlefavshape 8y ago
    > I point blank asked men what they thought was attractive about me ... every one of them had a different answer > Most people don't really have a clear idea of what they look like Wow! I had no idea about this, that's super interesting
  - travisjungroth 8y ago
    What is high quality salt?
    - DoreenMichele 8y ago
      Not table salt. The best is Celtic Sea Salt. After that is various other brands of sea salt, Himalayan salt, kosher salt, canning and pickling salt.
      - travisjungroth 8y ago
        How are these other salts better for you than table salt?
        DoreenMichele 8y ago
        Table salt has problematic additives. One of the additives is an anti-caking ingredient. It is the reason table salt pours easily. Other forms of salt tend to clump up. Sea salt also has additional micronutrients. It isn't just sodium chloride. Not necessarily a huge issue if you are perfectly healthy, but it makes a surprisingly large difference if there is anything wrong that intersects with these chemicals in some manner.