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Does it really matter what others think? Too much of our self-worth is tied up in the fleeting opinions of others. There are only two opinions that matter to me

Does it really matter what others think? Too much of our self-worth is tied up in the fleeting opinions of others. There are only two opinions that matter to me: my wife’s and my daughter’s. The rest of humanity is made up of people I interact with for a specific purpose, such as work, and those interactions are governed by certain rules. Within such frameworks we play our roles and go our separate ways after, and no one’s self esteem needs to be hurt.

NoPicklez 8y ago
You might hold the opinions of your wife and daughter higher given your point in time, which I'd agree with. However, others opinions of course matter, no they shouldn't totally control how you think about yourself but they certainly do have an impact on how you perceive yourself. For those that perhaps don't have a wife or daughter, then the opinions of others of course have a higher weighting.
- javelin11 8y ago
  I can see how this is a natural tendency that we have all fallen victim to, but I wonder if the idea of self-worth has gotten twisted. In reality, people have misconceptions about other people all the time, and it does us no good to constantly worry that others’ impression of us may not be what we want it to be. Perhaps the better approach is living day in day out how you want to live and the people you’d want to be around will be naturally attracted to that in the long run after seeing who you really are. That way, you are not out there trying to impress others but being yourself, not giving an iota of a care about what others think, and trusting that they way you live will naturally bring you in contact with people who have respect for you and vice versa. Seems like a less stressful, healthier way to live, at least.
  - mindentropy 8y ago
    Things don't happen "naturally". It takes effort/work to do anything. Therefore there is very rarely natural attraction. It takes work/effort to make people respect and like you.
liveoneggs 8y ago
I have this exact same amount of care about the opinions of others (my wife + children matter to me very deeply; everyone else can go fuck themselves) and it hasn't exactly endeared me to others, but personalities are hard to override :)
analyst74 8y ago
I used to not give a damn about how others think, and just did whatever fancied me at the moment. But now I'm older and wiser, I actually do care about what others think. What I realized, after living in many different places and cultures where I get treated differently, is that being self-centered/absorbed is a privilege only afforded by people who are well liked or respected. Just like rich people never have to worry about making ends meet, healthy people worry less about getting sick, and men rarely worry about lining up at public washrooms. Naturally well liked/respected people can afford to worry less about how others think of them. The unfortunate ones will have to deal with harassment, rejection, ostracization before eventually figure out how to be liked, or how to find people who will like them.

NoPicklez 8y ago

You might hold the opinions of your wife and daughter higher given your point in time, which I'd agree with. However, others opinions of course matter, no they shouldn't totally control how you think about yourself but they certainly do have an impact on how you perceive yourself. For those that perhaps don't have a wife or daughter, then the opinions of others of course have a higher weighting.

javelin11 8y ago
I can see how this is a natural tendency that we have all fallen victim to, but I wonder if the idea of self-worth has gotten twisted. In reality, people have misconceptions about other people all the time, and it does us no good to constantly worry that others’ impression of us may not be what we want it to be. Perhaps the better approach is living day in day out how you want to live and the people you’d want to be around will be naturally attracted to that in the long run after seeing who you really are. That way, you are not out there trying to impress others but being yourself, not giving an iota of a care about what others think, and trusting that they way you live will naturally bring you in contact with people who have respect for you and vice versa. Seems like a less stressful, healthier way to live, at least.
- mindentropy 8y ago
  Things don't happen "naturally". It takes effort/work to do anything. Therefore there is very rarely natural attraction. It takes work/effort to make people respect and like you.

liveoneggs 8y ago

I have this exact same amount of care about the opinions of others (my wife + children matter to me very deeply; everyone else can go fuck themselves) and it hasn't exactly endeared me to others, but personalities are hard to override :)

analyst74 8y ago

I used to not give a damn about how others think, and just did whatever fancied me at the moment. But now I'm older and wiser, I actually do care about what others think. What I realized, after living in many different places and cultures where I get treated differently, is that being self-centered/absorbed is a privilege only afforded by people who are well liked or respected. Just like rich people never have to worry about making ends meet, healthy people worry less about getting sick, and men rarely worry about lining up at public washrooms. Naturally well liked/respected people can afford to worry less about how others think of them. The unfortunate ones will have to deal with harassment, rejection, ostracization before eventually figure out how to be liked, or how to find people who will like them.