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I'm sure this is true. Another thing I'm sure of is how little time most people spend thinking about other people. Even the people in my life I don't care for,

I'm sure this is true. Another thing I'm sure of is how little time most people spend thinking about other people. Even the people in my life I don't care for, I rarely spend more than a passing moment thinking about them, even if they're in the same room. The ones I do think about a lot are the ones I love (wife, children, closest friends). Despite knowing this, though, I'll admit that I can spend a lot of time thinking about That One Dumb Thing I Said at Dinner Around My Friends - again, though, I'm 99% sure most people don't remember the dumb or embarrassing things others say or do.

TimJYoung 8y ago
This is such a great insight, and is one that I came across later in life. Once you realize how little friends/acquaintances care about the minute details of your life, it is very, very freeing.
oatsandsugar 8y ago
This reminds me of a fortune cookie I once had, that I first thought was aggressive, and then I found liberating: "You'd care less about what people think about you if you realized how little they do"
- wallflower 8y ago
  Another related quote: “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”
  - goldenchrome 8y ago
    Another great one: “I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.”
    - ListeningPie 8y ago
      How do you interpret this quote, especially the last line. The first line is how I see myself, the second how you see me, then from who's perspective is the last line?
      - golergka 8y ago
        Shared social perspective. The same thing - what we think other people think - is what most affects our behaviour about most of social reality.
    - tomaskafka 8y ago
      Here's a more detailed and illustrates article on what that means: https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2015/04/08/the-essence-of-peopling/ https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2015/04/08/the-essence-of-peoplin...
- theoh 8y ago
  That's the spirit that got Linus Torvalds where he is now — "Be abrasive, don't pull punches, be a 'git'. People don't care about you, so you can't really hurt them anyway"
  - senthil_rajasek 8y ago
    Linus seems to care these days. This does not translate well across different cultures. I've lived in two cultures and still have a hard time practising "not caring" about other people.
  - coldtea 8y ago
    >where he is now A celebrated 100x programmer at the top of the software engineering hierarchy, whose work helped span a trillion dollar industry? He might have regretted being so abrasive as of late, but let's not paint things as if he failed to accomplish much because of that. In fact it might have helped solidify a more cautious approach around kernel development and keep possible detractors at bay, in the early days, compared to him being too polite and accommodating.
    - theoh 8y ago
      Well, we're all saddled with git's total disregard for the user experience. We'd still be struggling with the positive and negative aspects of open source software if Linus hadn't existed, just as the first world war would probably have happened anyway if Gavrilo Princip hadn't precipitated it. Bear in mind that however good a coder Linus might be, RMS is still an influential figure for political reasons despite checking out of the coding business years ago. Politics, charisma of one sort or another, celebrity...
      - GhostVII 8y ago
        I quite like gits user experience, personally. If you don't like it, there are lots of tools built on top of it that make it easier to use. Not sure what the issue is.
- freshwaters 8y ago
  I'd like to mention how much truer this is in today's world. Specifically, if you live in an urban city. Today, everyone is constantly bombarded with information from multiple sources that they often forget much about past interactions with people they aren't close with. Even if you are close with someone, they are very much likely to only remember significant memories or memories which you remind them of.
- lazyant 8y ago
  Similarly, about what people think of you: "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter." https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Bernard_Baruch https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Bernard_Baruch
- nineteen999 8y ago
  "Most people are too worried about what you think of them to have to time to worry about what to think about you".
- topmonk 8y ago
  When some one said, "Most people laugh at you," his reply was, "And so very likely do the asses at them; but as they don't care for the asses, so neither do I care for them." - Diogenes
deleted 8y ago
[deleted]
WalterBright 8y ago
When you're young, you worry a lot about what others think of you. When you're middle-aged, you stop caring about what others think of you. When you're old, you realize nobody is thinking about you.
chrshawkes 8y ago
I think we can only genuinely care for 20 or 30 people tops. Like as in really really care.

TimJYoung 8y ago

This is such a great insight, and is one that I came across later in life. Once you realize how little friends/acquaintances care about the minute details of your life, it is very, very freeing.

oatsandsugar 8y ago

This reminds me of a fortune cookie I once had, that I first thought was aggressive, and then I found liberating: "You'd care less about what people think about you if you realized how little they do"

wallflower 8y ago
Another related quote: “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”
- goldenchrome 8y ago
  Another great one: “I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.”
  - ListeningPie 8y ago
    How do you interpret this quote, especially the last line. The first line is how I see myself, the second how you see me, then from who's perspective is the last line?
    - golergka 8y ago
      Shared social perspective. The same thing - what we think other people think - is what most affects our behaviour about most of social reality.
  - tomaskafka 8y ago
    Here's a more detailed and illustrates article on what that means: https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2015/04/08/the-essence-of-peopling/ https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2015/04/08/the-essence-of-peoplin...
theoh 8y ago
That's the spirit that got Linus Torvalds where he is now — "Be abrasive, don't pull punches, be a 'git'. People don't care about you, so you can't really hurt them anyway"
- senthil_rajasek 8y ago
  Linus seems to care these days. This does not translate well across different cultures. I've lived in two cultures and still have a hard time practising "not caring" about other people.
- coldtea 8y ago
  >where he is now A celebrated 100x programmer at the top of the software engineering hierarchy, whose work helped span a trillion dollar industry? He might have regretted being so abrasive as of late, but let's not paint things as if he failed to accomplish much because of that. In fact it might have helped solidify a more cautious approach around kernel development and keep possible detractors at bay, in the early days, compared to him being too polite and accommodating.
  - theoh 8y ago
    Well, we're all saddled with git's total disregard for the user experience. We'd still be struggling with the positive and negative aspects of open source software if Linus hadn't existed, just as the first world war would probably have happened anyway if Gavrilo Princip hadn't precipitated it. Bear in mind that however good a coder Linus might be, RMS is still an influential figure for political reasons despite checking out of the coding business years ago. Politics, charisma of one sort or another, celebrity...
    - GhostVII 8y ago
      I quite like gits user experience, personally. If you don't like it, there are lots of tools built on top of it that make it easier to use. Not sure what the issue is.
freshwaters 8y ago
I'd like to mention how much truer this is in today's world. Specifically, if you live in an urban city. Today, everyone is constantly bombarded with information from multiple sources that they often forget much about past interactions with people they aren't close with. Even if you are close with someone, they are very much likely to only remember significant memories or memories which you remind them of.
lazyant 8y ago
Similarly, about what people think of you: "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter." https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Bernard_Baruch https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Bernard_Baruch
nineteen999 8y ago
"Most people are too worried about what you think of them to have to time to worry about what to think about you".
topmonk 8y ago
When some one said, "Most people laugh at you," his reply was, "And so very likely do the asses at them; but as they don't care for the asses, so neither do I care for them." - Diogenes

deleted 8y ago

[deleted]

WalterBright 8y ago

When you're young, you worry a lot about what others think of you. When you're middle-aged, you stop caring about what others think of you. When you're old, you realize nobody is thinking about you.

chrshawkes 8y ago

I think we can only genuinely care for 20 or 30 people tops. Like as in really really care.