4 ms·

Yeah, but none of that helps with me not liking them

craftyguy 8y ago
That's exactly what I thought when reading this article. I avoid some social situations not because I care about what they think of me but because I don't care to talk to them (or already dislike them from some previous encounter).
- eiieirurjdndjd 8y ago
  I don’t think that everyone feels how the person in the article does. But from talking to my friends, most people think less of themselves, socially, than they think of others.
borkt 8y ago
I'm sorry and in honesty I am not sure which problem is worse. I really like being around a wide variety of people and hearing what interests them and about their lives etc. I also can't imagine how anyone could possibly be interested in listening to even the most interesting parts in my life. Seems like the two personalities are on opposite sides of the same spectrum.
munchbunny 8y ago
If you listed and categorized the people you dislike, what would the breakdown look like? I personally found as I got older (not implying that you're young, just that I changed over time) that many people I previously disliked were now just people I felt neutral about. More specifically, I thought they were well intentioned but flawed as all humans are, and their flaws just happen to be the ones that bug me but not others. The people I actually dislike is now a much smaller group, and they almost all fall into three categories: 1. People who lack personal integrity 2. People who act smarter/more qualified than they are and hurt people as a result 3. People who consistently take things the wrong way. In the context of race and gender stuff, this is a hard line to draw, but in my experience the egregious cases of taking things the wrong way are rare and fairly obvious. I don't mind well intentioned people in the gray area. All three categories are just frustrating or tiring to be friends with or to work with, and they drag everyone else down with them.
- artpepper2 8y ago
  As I get older, there are fewer people I actively dislike, but I also have less patience to spend on people I don't actively like.
  - erikpukinskis 8y ago
    ... which can lead to actually liking fewer people, because to meet new people you really like you generally need to spend time with people you only tolerate. The network effects work better with more overall socializing, and in my experience you can’t even hit the maintenance threshold (let alone the growth threshold) by only spending time with those you really favor.
- craftyguy 8y ago
  4. There are too many people and too few hours in the days to care about them all, so some got optimized out. This is how I generally feel when meeting people that I'm 90% sure I will never see/interact with again. For the 10%, that I do, I probably come across as uninterested in them or 'aloof', but, meh.
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]

That's exactly what I thought when reading this article. I avoid some social situations not because I care about what they think of me but because I don't care to talk to them (or already dislike them from some previous encounter).

eiieirurjdndjd 8y ago
I don’t think that everyone feels how the person in the article does. But from talking to my friends, most people think less of themselves, socially, than they think of others.

borkt 8y ago

I'm sorry and in honesty I am not sure which problem is worse. I really like being around a wide variety of people and hearing what interests them and about their lives etc. I also can't imagine how anyone could possibly be interested in listening to even the most interesting parts in my life. Seems like the two personalities are on opposite sides of the same spectrum.

munchbunny 8y ago

If you listed and categorized the people you dislike, what would the breakdown look like? I personally found as I got older (not implying that you're young, just that I changed over time) that many people I previously disliked were now just people I felt neutral about. More specifically, I thought they were well intentioned but flawed as all humans are, and their flaws just happen to be the ones that bug me but not others. The people I actually dislike is now a much smaller group, and they almost all fall into three categories: 1. People who lack personal integrity 2. People who act smarter/more qualified than they are and hurt people as a result 3. People who consistently take things the wrong way. In the context of race and gender stuff, this is a hard line to draw, but in my experience the egregious cases of taking things the wrong way are rare and fairly obvious. I don't mind well intentioned people in the gray area. All three categories are just frustrating or tiring to be friends with or to work with, and they drag everyone else down with them.

artpepper2 8y ago
As I get older, there are fewer people I actively dislike, but I also have less patience to spend on people I don't actively like.
- erikpukinskis 8y ago
  ... which can lead to actually liking fewer people, because to meet new people you really like you generally need to spend time with people you only tolerate. The network effects work better with more overall socializing, and in my experience you can’t even hit the maintenance threshold (let alone the growth threshold) by only spending time with those you really favor.
craftyguy 8y ago
4. There are too many people and too few hours in the days to care about them all, so some got optimized out. This is how I generally feel when meeting people that I'm 90% sure I will never see/interact with again. For the 10%, that I do, I probably come across as uninterested in them or 'aloof', but, meh.
deleted 8y ago
[deleted]