I'm generally a supporter, but this is a good step. I can speak from rough personal experience that this type of realization is brutal, and leads to hard work

I'm generally a supporter, but this is a good step. I can speak from rough personal experience that this type of realization is brutal, and leads to hard work that "attaboys" don't reach because it just leads to you behaving like you should have been doing in the first place, and you know that. It doesn't have to be either/or, you can be assertive without operating from fear and insecurity (which is usually the place venom like his classics comes from). You can actually be _more_ assertive when it's not burdened with also protecting your ego.