"Write your code here, here and here, sacrifice 4 goats under a full moon, run your through 3 (no more, no less) seperate tools (each with their own config file

"Write your code here, here and here, sacrifice 4 goats under a full moon, run your through 3 (no more, no less) seperate tools (each with their own config files), send that to an intermediate compiler to generate a dozen more files, don robes and perform ceremony to Elder God(s) of your choice, to send to another sort-of-compiler, sacrifice your intern for good measure, run everything through a packaging tool (chosen using a carnival spin wheel, different for each run). Discover your code has errors that get silently ignored, repeat the whole again, any remaining errors are clearly blessed by said Elder Gods, deploy it, ignore warnings and go onto the next project. :P